Dear Friends and Believers

[GloryGlory]

Dear friends...

My name is Gloria Emerson, and I'm a 38-year-old housewife from Minnesota. I live a happy and quiet life with my dear husband Warner and our six children. However in the last couple of years our family has had a few problems that has caused me great distress. As if it wasn't hard enough times already with evil socialists and and perverted liberals trying to take over our country. I have prayed and discussed with my husband, and have come to the conclution that this a trail from God to test my patiens and faith.

So with my husband's premission I come to you, my fellow belivers in Christ and the true word of our lord, to seek guidlines.

Anyway to my problems. My brother-in-law Robert, is currently living with us in our home since his sinful ungodly wife left him for another man. Although I'm happy to offer all my support and help to my husband's brother, this divorce has been hard on him, and he's started drinking... a lot. When he's not drunk and loud, he's very depressed and looms around the house like a ghost. Now I'd be able to handle this but it's not the only thing going on here that worries me.

You see one of sons, Harvey who's sixteen-years-old has always been a good boy who likes cars, sunday school, and soccer. Frankly I've always thought he'd grew up to be a very decent, honerable man, but a few weeks ago I happened to walk in on him and his friend Anthony doing horrible things with eachother. I of course banned my son from ever seeing Anthony again and grounded him. However I'm afraid that they're still seeing eachother behind my back, and I'm not sure what to do.

Of course our family's third and most worrying problem of all relates to my daughter Helen. Helen is our oldest child, and she's always been very good, and known her place as a woman, never caused any trouble. But know the other day she returned home and told us she's pregnant. You can all understand my horror since she's not married and not even engaged. Now under normal circumstances I'd have found the boy who did this and force him to marry her, but Eric as this boy is known is a Lutheran. What should I do. Allow my grandson to be born out of wedlock, or allow a Lutheran, a false Christian to marry into my family.

Dear friends what should I do to clence my family from all this sin? Please help.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

Well Gloria, I suppose that's an OK introduction, in that you've given us plenty of information about your little soap opera of a life. I can't help but notice, however, that you've left out one very important piece of information, that being where you go to church.

I can only assume this is because you don't go to church.

Do you know what God says about not going to church? Probably not, as I doubt you read the Bible very much. Here, let me help you with that:

Hebrews 10:24-25

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

It's little wonder, therefore, that you have raised a sodomist for a son. Instead of punishing your little tulip of a child, why don't you sit him down and say, "Mary, I am so very sorry for messing up your life by being a domineering, emasculating crone and not arming you against depravity with a proper religious upbringing."

As for your wayward daughter, is it any wonder she's gotten knocked up? WAKE UP WOMAN, you're committing adultery with your husband's own drunken brother and you think your daughter's not going to follow your whorish example?

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

Welcome to our friendly forum!

Why do you worry about all these problems? Your brain is not equipped for that. Just rely on your husband to solve all these problems, sounds like your children could use a serious beating or two, and make sure his dinner is ready when he gets home.

Ephesians 5:22 "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord."

[WinnerNotSinner]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

Welcome to GOD's favourite forum

Unfortunately I have some bad news for you, Helene is a fornicating slut, probably due to your bad parenting. She should, rightfully, be stoned to death at the door of your house, but this may be against some kind of law in Minnesota(?) - if so she will just go to hell when she dies...

Deuteronomy 22:21 - Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

...along with her bastard of a son. And any offspring he produces, for ten generations:

Deuteronomy 23:2 - A bastard shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD; even to his tenth generation shall he not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

Anyway, what is your favourite piece of scripture? I always love to hear how Jesus has touched others with His words.

[GloryGlory]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

Ah dear friends, thank you for your replies.

Faith_Machine; I'm terribly sorry for my neglect in my initial post. I'm under a lot of stress due to these horrible things, and I'm afraid my weakness as a woman made me forget to tell you of my church. I do attend The Sacred Wave New Baptist Parish Church here in Albertville, MN every Sunday, and every Thursday evening. But I'm starting to fear this is not enough, after all that is a majority of days I do not attent church.

Cranky Old Man; I'm aware that my short-comings as a woman make me less equipt to solve these issues than my dear husband. However Warner is a traveling man often away on buisness trips, and I feels as it is my duty to ease his burden as much as possible and not trouble him to much with problems I sure I caused myself.

WinnerNotSinner; I realise I must have been a terrible mother, as two of my children has fallen into the abyss of sin. I just hope there's a way to bring them back to a Christian life, and to save my four other children and my coming grandchild from the same fate.

Your advice is greatly appreciated

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

Hey GG,

I firmly believe that Jesus will see us through everything, and thus over-planning or fretting on our part is practically counterproductive. You do the best you can, and trust in Him to tie up the loose ends.

(2 Corinthians 5:7) "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

(1 John 5:14) "And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us."

Pretty sweet, huh?



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[landoverlover]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

First things first. You should have that woman-thing done so that you can't pop out any more ticking little sin-bombs.

Second, what kind of right Baptist Church is called Sacred Wave? This sounds more like a feel-good hippie cult. Where is your Pastor in all of this nasty drama?

Third, as the child-rearing half, this is your mess. I suggest a non-extradition country with few laws so you can legally stone your chimps to death, as Leviticus requires.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

I do attend The Sacred Wave New Baptist Parish Church here in Albertville, MN

How odd. I can't find any reference to this church in the white pages, and when I google "Sacred Wave New Baptist Parish Church" the first and only reply with that full phrase is this very thread.

See for yourself.

Would you care to try again, Miss Sodomite-Loving God-Mocking Whore?

Thanks!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

Excellent work, Reverend Rodimer! I smelled a rat from the get-go! I suspected from the start that all of GloryGlory's spelling and grammatical errors were intentional, and designed to make "her" seem more genuine.

[Living_Water]

Re: Dear Friends and Believers

Would you care to try again, Miss Sodomite-Loving God-Mocking Whore?

Thanks!

Very nice detective work dear Reverend. Exposing lying heathens and rebuking them are really your fortes.


Romans 1:18:
For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;