Vlad say hello to you

[Vlad Batty]

Hello people of Landover Baptist Church, I am Vladimir of Belarus.

I am very small minority Baptist here because my countrys laws, they no like Christians. I have wife I slept with once, and we have 1 boy. In youth after many days drinking I accident raped her on path home. At risk of gunfire, we were had the marriage. 15 years now, she sits like log in my home and smells like yak. The boy as smart as clam with the retard, but strong like bear.

Favorite Bible verse is 1st Corinthians 14:34 Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.

I like this much because God don't like to hear whiny woman voice either. Smelly yak wife always on couch watching American opera of soap. If she cook I afraid it to be poison. When she speak it sound like banshee with the period. After many year of beatings and closet, I know let the yak sit like log, at least she don't open mouth.

I work repair shoes and sell blood sausage (just like fancy American Walmart with McDonald). My hopes is to make money enough to fund Baptist church.

I now end my introduction to you.

In Christ,

Vlad.

[Two-Dollar Bill]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Allow me to be the first to welcome you here Vlad!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Welcome to our friendly forum Vlad!

Do you like hunting?

[Vlad Batty]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Welcome to our friendly forum Vlad!

Do you like hunting?

I like hunt very much Mr. Cranky Man, I make own bison blood sausage. How do you American say...it very yummy in tummy

[James Hutchins]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Welcome Vlad. Back in my youth, I knew of a guy by the same name. He was slavic or some such thing. Are you related? You have his brow.
How did you find Jesus?
What is your favorite verse in the KJV and how has it driven your life to a pious one of prayer?

[landoverlover]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

I feel for you, pal. I think we were all married to the same woman at least once. Hang in there, your time with the harpy will be short compared to the Eternal Paradise awaiting you. The Bible proclaims that in Heaven, we will not be 'married or given in marriage', which by itself is an excellent reason to worship God with all your heart.

First heavenly beer is on me, we'll compare notes.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Hello Vlad!

I am a big fan of blood sausage. My wife makes it using the blood from the wild pigs we have around here (they are everywhere), mixed with cow tongue that we get from the local butcher.

Never had any made from bison, but it sounds tasty.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Bible Student]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Hello Vlad!

I am a big fan of blood sausage. My wife makes it using the blood from the wild pigs we have around here (they are everywhere), mixed with cow tongue that we get from the local butcher.

Never had any made from bison, but it sounds tasty.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

In other words, hot dogs.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Welcome, Vlad! I was surprised to hear that the One True Faith is outlawed in Belarus, but I did a little Googling and learned the following from Wikipedia:

According to Article 16 of the Constitution, Belarus has no official religion. While the freedom of worship is granted in the same article, religious organizations that are deemed harmful to the government or social order of the country can be prohibited.

You'd better believe the teachings of Jesus Christ are harmful to any degenerate communist government or "social order!"

Have you considered committing acts of domestic "terrorism" on God's behalf, Vlad?

[Immaculate Kiwi]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

My blessing's Vladimir. Do you impale your quarry or shoot them? Good to see in Belarus you conserve your bison population, rather than wipe 'em out like the short-sighted American Indian's did! I would be intrigued, if you adventitiously fell into your wife again, to see if your daughter's appearance would replicate your chiseled East Slavic genealogy. If so, may many Christian crusader's be born unto thee, to bring order to this chaotic cesspool. I am disappointed, even outraged, that you have to cook for yourself. Don't tell me you have to gut and skin the beast too!?

In God I trust,

I.Kiwi

[Living_Water]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Welcome Vlad!

You sound like a young man with your life in order.
I raise a glass of vodka for your health!

John 2:10:
And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Vlad, a hearty welcome! You know Vlad, I feel we've met somewhere before. You look very familiar to me. Have you ever sodomized a young guy in a drunk tank in front of horrified onlookers? If so, bingo! It was me, small world! If not, sorry about the mistake.

Vlad, have you done any acting roles, possibly "Wrong Turn", if so congradulations on landing a prime part in a great hollywood classic. Belarus is well known for 'manly' guys and you could possibly be of great help to a family here in America. A married couple at our church is trying desparatly to have a child with no results after several years of trying. Someone suggested airdropping the wife into your town or area and letting nature have it's way. Then the woman would be on her own and eventualy wander to a border where she would be flown home. We were told if that didn't work, it was hopeless.

[Vlad Batty]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Welcome Vlad. Back in my youth, I knew of a guy by the same name. He was slavic or some such thing. Are you related? You have his brow.

Perhaps, lot of Vlads. As for brow, father dropped Vlad on head as baby...how you Americans say, father drunk as skunk.

How did you find Jesus?
What is your favorite verse in the KJV and how has it driven your life to a pious one of prayer?

I post favorite quote above. Jesus actually find me. Yaks parents Baptist, they force me to marry her with gun to head after rape. Also force me to read Bible. As I read, I like. I hear always that God is all love and happys. As I read, I find this not true, God actually not so nice guy at times, just like Vlad. So I accept him into heart and live by the His word.

Shouting the glory!!

[Vlad Batty]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Welcome Vlad!

You sound like a young man with your life in order.
I raise a glass of vodka for your health!

John 2:10:
And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

I say thank Mr. Living Waters. But Vodka no for me, last time Vlad drink Vodka 24 people end up in hospital.

So I sip the wine this days.

[Vlad Batty]

Re: Vlad say hello to you

Vlad, a hearty welcome! You know Vlad, I feel we've met somewhere before. You look very familiar to me. Have you ever sodomized a young guy in a drunk tank in front of horrified onlookers? If so, bingo! It was me, small world! If not, sorry about the mistake.

NO!! Vlad known to rip ears off...how do you Americans say...the homers.