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Good morning and please allow me to introduce myself,
My name is Brother Crow and I can tell you now that it's all true, God hates England.
For some reason my name does not fit on the sign in register, i can only assume that my keyboard is afflicted.
I have lived in this Sceptered Isle all my life and the more I see the more I realise just how very bad bad things are getting. We are governed by a fool and almost at war with an army that outnumber the good, God fearing folk that will be saved in the coming revolution. yes, I'm talking about Chavs.
Now it is only through my truthful knowledge things are meant to test us and this is all His will that has prevented me from dispencing the Big Mans Ultimate and divine justice.
But I digress.
I have made it my mission to cleanse this country of it's ills, a mission i persue with a daily passion and for the past 15 years I have been fighting against sleaze and alcohol. Ths has meant I have had to research my enemy in fine detail and surround myself in woman, booze and other unholy things. It has been a long struggle I can tell you, but I think that with another 30, maybe forty years of research I shall have the information I need to bring this disgusting behaviour to it's knees.
I live with my girl friend of some six years and let me tell you, she is nearly of the marrying kind.
But I here your disgust, I here you saying "Living with awoman for six years? Is he a heathen?" Well I say no. I will marry her when she finally accepts Jesus into her heart and although the road is long and arduous she will one day reach that place. Until then I will continue my one man mission to rid her of the Demons that have haunted her so. These demons currently reside in her right knee (an affliction from a car accident) and her left breast. I have discovered that prolonged massage helps to quell this particular agent of satan.
Well, let me not keep you from your goodly mission to help those less fortunate. I have work to do, but first let me leave you with these thoughts:
*The Wii is indeed unGodly. It is made by the Japenese. they worship false idols and will no doubt have infected the party device with demons.
*Despite what people may think the VW Beetle is Ungodly. The cars are driven by tree hugging Hippies. It is FACT that these people spend all day smoking weed and calling on the agents of satan to do their bidding.
*There is nothing in this wondering world of ours that cannot, I repeat cannot be remidied with the Holy Bible and a Stick of Ultimnate Justice ™. I was shown how to build this stick of retribution in vision after some 8 pints of beer. i will happily share my secrects for the sum of £99.99 including VAT.
And finally *My name is earl is the work of Satan. I find it uplifting that that the man is trying to help others but this talk of Karma is just plain wrong. i have therefore petitioned the network to rename it "Earls mission of devine redemption." The format will be basically the same only Earl will now be a preacher and will be able to call upon lightning and other fun things to smite the wicked. The show closes with a 3hr sermon on the evils of fun.
I have also pointed out that the young lady Joy has demons afflicting most of her body and I would happily give away my time to help her rid herself of them.
My name is Brother Crow and I can tell you now that it's all true, God hates England.
For some reason my name does not fit on the sign in register, i can only assume that my keyboard is afflicted.
I have lived in this Sceptered Isle all my life and the more I see the more I realise just how very bad bad things are getting. We are governed by a fool and almost at war with an army that outnumber the good, God fearing folk that will be saved in the coming revolution. yes, I'm talking about Chavs.
Now it is only through my truthful knowledge things are meant to test us and this is all His will that has prevented me from dispencing the Big Mans Ultimate and divine justice.
But I digress.
I have made it my mission to cleanse this country of it's ills, a mission i persue with a daily passion and for the past 15 years I have been fighting against sleaze and alcohol. Ths has meant I have had to research my enemy in fine detail and surround myself in woman, booze and other unholy things. It has been a long struggle I can tell you, but I think that with another 30, maybe forty years of research I shall have the information I need to bring this disgusting behaviour to it's knees.
I live with my girl friend of some six years and let me tell you, she is nearly of the marrying kind.
But I here your disgust, I here you saying "Living with awoman for six years? Is he a heathen?" Well I say no. I will marry her when she finally accepts Jesus into her heart and although the road is long and arduous she will one day reach that place. Until then I will continue my one man mission to rid her of the Demons that have haunted her so. These demons currently reside in her right knee (an affliction from a car accident) and her left breast. I have discovered that prolonged massage helps to quell this particular agent of satan.
Well, let me not keep you from your goodly mission to help those less fortunate. I have work to do, but first let me leave you with these thoughts:
*The Wii is indeed unGodly. It is made by the Japenese. they worship false idols and will no doubt have infected the party device with demons.
*Despite what people may think the VW Beetle is Ungodly. The cars are driven by tree hugging Hippies. It is FACT that these people spend all day smoking weed and calling on the agents of satan to do their bidding.
*There is nothing in this wondering world of ours that cannot, I repeat cannot be remidied with the Holy Bible and a Stick of Ultimnate Justice ™. I was shown how to build this stick of retribution in vision after some 8 pints of beer. i will happily share my secrects for the sum of £99.99 including VAT.
And finally *My name is earl is the work of Satan. I find it uplifting that that the man is trying to help others but this talk of Karma is just plain wrong. i have therefore petitioned the network to rename it "Earls mission of devine redemption." The format will be basically the same only Earl will now be a preacher and will be able to call upon lightning and other fun things to smite the wicked. The show closes with a 3hr sermon on the evils of fun.
I have also pointed out that the young lady Joy has demons afflicting most of her body and I would happily give away my time to help her rid herself of them.
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