A More Formal Introduction

[4 Christ]

When God directed be to this site and Church I was thrilled to say the least. For quite sometime I was having suspicions that my former church was teaching false doctrine. As I began looking for a new church I found to my dismay that all the ones I looked into were teaching false doctrine.

It is clear to me that the only true church is one that follows the Word of God to the letter. Christianity is not for wimps and if you are not down with Jesus I have one word for you... HELL!

I did a Map Quest search for Freehold Iowa but something went haywire. I suspect that secular humanists are blocking it. I would like to visit Landover Baptist Church before fall.

I am here in cyber space to have fellowship with like minded people who love and fear God.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Unsaved are NOT welcome, either here or in Freehold.

This is called the introduction forum for a reason. Please tell us about yourself, your church, and your relationship with Jesus.

[4 Christ]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Unsaved are NOT welcome, either here or in Freehold.

This is called the introduction forum for a reason. Please tell us about yourself, your church, and your relationship with Jesus.

Jesus is my Lord. Jesus is my reason for living. Jesus is my savior. Jesus and I talk many times each day. Before I do just about anything I ask Jesus first. Jesus is my salvation.

Things get a bit complicated with my church. To put it simply they teach false doctrine and since we have one soul and since Jesus will send us to Hell to be tortured for all eternity there is no way I am going to be around a bunch of cafeteria Christians who only want to follow the parts of the Word that they like.

I'm single and I work as a security guard at the local mall. I was engaged but I broke it off because my fiance wanted to have a Jewiss as one of her brides maids and there was no way I would tolerate a Christ killer in my wedding let alone in my church.

I took a home study Bible course and sometimes I would teach Sunday school the pastor got upset when started teaching true doctrine and putting the fear of God in those little tykes. Jesus love me this I know for the Bible tells me so, is pablum and and these kids need to hear the whole story otherwise they will end up taking drugs and listening to that jungle rap music. Pastor Hyde didn't see it that way so I have been seeking a full gospel church that puts the fear of God in people. That led me to this spirit filled website.

[Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

That's a moving testimony, friend.

We at Landover have the kids memorize,
Daddy, Why Did Jesus Kill Grandma? (Teaching Youngsters About Hell),
before they can move from first year.

[Sister Kitty]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

I am pleased to meet you. How many sons has your wife borne you?

[4 Christ]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

Sister Kitty, I am single but I am in the market for an obedient, fertile and Godly woman with a strong womb for carrying my sons and and wide hips for birthing them.

Pastor Sampson, That's not the half of it. We had a great church until Pastor Puller was forced to step down. (Boy could that man deliver a Jeremiad) Reverend Richard Puller was a great minister. His sermons would cause fainting and trembling and loss of bowel and bladder function. I used to have nightmares when I was a kid and before I understood that the only way to prevent eternity in Hell was Jesus. Now I sleep like a baby.

A truly evil group of people (deacons and church elders) targeted Pastor Puller. They brought in all these trumped up charges like embezzlement and sexual misconduct (all LIES) and Pastor Dick had to take a plea bargain to avoid a long prison term. What really happened is Pastor Puller accidently co-mingled some funds when he built a camp and bought a couple of Ranger bass boats. Pastor dick is a handsome older gentleman with flowing silver hair and a booming commanding voice. Harlots would throw themselves at him and they lied and said he raped them when he would not have sex with them. Then Pastor Hyde took over and he turned the church into something more like a night club than a church. The congregation grew but they were the wrong people. We even had darkies attending services and then they started do that ecumenical stuff. It became intolerable. Now I am here hoping to make the cut.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

His sermons would cause fainting and trembling and loss of bowel and bladder function.

Hmmm....

Sounds awfully Pentacostal to me.

[4 Christ]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

Hmmm....

Sounds awfully Pentacostal to me.

Pastor Dick is now in a halfway house and he has been defrocked by the Pentacostal thugs. Like Jesus he has been persecuted merely for preaching the complete and unadulterated Word of God as contained in the holy Bible. He also has been forced to register as a sex offender. The next thing they will do to this loving God fearing man is make him wear a Roman color and a dress like a Catholic priest.

The Pentacostal church is very liberal these days.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

...he has been defrocked by the Pentacostal thugs...

Which means you were attending a Pentacostal church! Thank goodness you're getting away from those loons and have become involved in a real Christian church!

Why, just watching this Pentacostal nutbar disrupt this Godly pro-marriage rally makes me want to weep:

[4 Christ]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

Which means you were attending a Pentacostal church! Thank goodness you're getting away from those loons and have become involved in a real Christian church!

Why, just watching this Pentacostal nutbar disrupt this Godly pro-marriage rally makes me want to weep:

A clear case of demonic possession.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

Precisely.

[4 Christ]

Re: A More Formal Introduction

That cop should have given him a few strokes across the shins with his nightstick. That would have driven the devil out of him.