Please Help

[Brad Steele]

Greetings brothers and sisters, my name is Brad, and I really need help in finding salvation, as my country has become a liberal cesspool and I find myself being dragged into more and more devilish thinking. Why, only yesterday I found myself almost thinking other faiths may be as good as Christianity! Next thing you know I'll be thinking that gays are human too or that EVILutionist scientists know more about nature than theologians!

Something is clearly wrong, and I need help in finding strength in Jesus to resist this ever growing Satanistic influence around me.

Thank you.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Please Help

Why is you faith so weak as to even to allow temptation? I am surrounded by harlots and Homers and deviants all the time and I am never tempted. God runs interference for me. Why has He abandoned you?
Though I suppose with a name like Brad in a country like the UK where nearly every male is Homer, you are somewhat doomed to be one too.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Please Help

Greetings brothers and sisters, my name is Brad, and I really need help in finding salvation, as my country has become a liberal cesspool and I find myself being dragged into more and more devilish thinking. Why, only yesterday I found myself almost thinking other faiths may be as good as Christianity! Next thing you know I'll be thinking that gays are human too or that EVILutionist scientists know more about nature than theologians!

Something is clearly wrong, and I need help in finding strength in Jesus to resist this ever growing Satanistic influence around me.

Thank you.

Brad, there are definitely two things wrong:

a. you gave an improper introduction, and

b. your name sounds like a gay porn star.

One you can fix immediately.

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Please Help

Brad, I'm a little confused here. On the one hand, you're telling us you entertain notions about homosexuality and other religions being OK.

On the other hand, you tell us you've arrived here in a state of desperation because you know they're not.

This makes not sense. How could you hold both thoughts in your head simultaneously.

You're not trying to trick us, are you?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Please Help

Greetings brothers and sisters, my name is Brad, and I really need help in finding salvation, as my country has become a liberal cesspool and I find myself being dragged into more and more devilish thinking. Why, only yesterday I found myself almost thinking other faiths may be as good as Christianity! Next thing you know I'll be thinking that gays are human too or that EVILutionist scientists know more about nature than theologians!

Something is clearly wrong, and I need help in finding strength in Jesus to resist this ever growing Satanistic influence around me.

Thank you.

How about telling us about yourself, Brad? What church were you raised in? How old are you? What sorts of sin and debaucheries have you wallowed in?

Give us your testimony.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[landoverlover]

Re: Please Help

Greetings brothers and sisters, my name is Brad, and I really need help in finding salvation, as my country has become a liberal cesspool and I find myself being dragged into more and more devilish thinking. Why, only yesterday I found myself almost thinking other faiths may be as good as Christianity! Next thing you know I'll be thinking that gays are human too or that EVILutionist scientists know more about nature than theologians!

Something is clearly wrong, and I need help in finding strength in Jesus to resist this ever growing Satanistic influence around me.

Thank you.

What is clearly wrong here, Brad old sod, is your tone of thinly veiled sarcasm and feigned irony. God will not be mocked. And your predictable, plausible-deniability response of "I don't have a CLUE what you're talking about' won't flush either.

[Go_Away_Sinners!]

Re: Please Help

Why hello good sir! You seem like a True Christian, or at least you have the makings of one, and I am so glad that Our Lord brought you to this forum before you could be recruited by the heathens and homers. How many sons has your wife born you?