[Bible Student]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

I then went to school, and studied pyrotechnics (one of my lifelong interests) and graduated with great grades. Today I work mostly as a lecturer at the local university but I also do practical work, preparing/setting up fireworks for various events.

Well I'm not sure one has to study for that length of time just to set up bonfires for witches' burnings. Pyrotechnics huh? Love the new word for witch burnings though with all these sickular laws I don't see how there will be much of a calling for your skills.

[Dan U. Holier]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Welcome to the friendliest forum on the internet, Richard!

...I found this forum via the "Why god hates Sweden" - thread and I was so surprised: I thought I was the only one who had a true understanding of how bad this country has become...

My sincere condolences; I share your anguish for being forced to live amongst the God-mocking hatesist, homers, feminazi butches, tree-huggers, lukewarm cherry-picking “christians”, muzzies and other Godless scum in this seemingly Godforsaken continent. I’m not sure if my friends from Freehold – the toughest stronghold of the True Christian™ faith - can really understand what kind of torment we have to endure.

YiC, DUH

[EnosPratt]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

I then went to school, and studied pyrotechnics (one of my lifelong interests) and graduated with great grades.

Since svedland is going to burn in hell I'm not surprised your school teaches how to set it on fire

Matthew 25:46 And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal.

[John Scopes]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Right behind fundamentalist christians, Swedes are the next most prolific inbreeders. Welcome to this place, I look forward to your future spews well reasoned elucidations.

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel for welcoming me and showing me the way around here.
Brother Temperance:
Thank you for your advice/suggestions regarding our future child. However, according to Genesis 30:39 these preparations only seem to give effect if they are done prior to making love to my wife - which I unfortunatly already have done.

I am trying my best to keep my eyes open for the presence of Satan and avoid danger in my everyday life.
I have a problem understanding why Satan would do such a thing though: I was already convinced that this forsaken country was doomed, and my wish to settle in the states existed prior to reading those horrible news. It was however that article that finally made me make a decision about it. Maybe it's best to pray and wish for further instructions from God? (just to be sure)
I have a good feeling about moving to the USA, but with Satan you can never know! He plays such evil tricks on your mind to steer you away from Jesus!

[Richard Faraday]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Thank you Pastor Ezekiel for welcoming me and showing me the way around here.
Brother Temperance:
Thank you for your advice/suggestions regarding our future child. However, according to Genesis 30:39 these preparations only seem to give effect if they are done prior to making love to my wife - which I unfortunatly already have done.

I am trying my best to keep my eyes open for the presence of Satan and avoid danger in my everyday life.
I have a problem understanding why Satan would do such a thing though: I was already convinced that this forsaken country was doomed, and my wish to settle in the states existed prior to reading those horrible news. It was however that article that finally made me make a decision about it. Maybe it's best to pray and wish for further instructions from God? (just to be sure)
I have a good feeling about moving to the USA, but with Satan you can never know! He plays such evil tricks on your mind to steer you away from Jesus!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

I found this forum via the "Why god hates Sweden" -thread and I was so surprised: I thought I was the only one who had a true understanding of how bad this country has become. The only minor flaw I found in the thread was the flag: ours is blue and yellow.
But no more on that, but let me instead tell you this: It's actually worse here than what you would expect from that thread. Way worse.
Not many days ago you see, I read in a newspaper about some pastor who appearently had lost his love for Jesus. He ACTUALLY suggested that, because of low funding and public support, he thought it was a good idea to raze many of our churches, or worse: turn them into PIZZA RESTAURANTS. I was chocked by this - I mean, I've heard a lot of crazy talk from swedish priests/pastors and phony "holymen" before but this was really extreme. I felt sick!

You don't believe me? Well here is the source:

http://www.svd.se/opinion/brannpunkt/dags-att-riva-svenska-kyrkor_6518146.svd

Blasphemy!

I think Satan is attacking you. He has sent a demon to intercept your link and turn all the words into gibberish that must have come straight from Hell itself. You are clearly in great spiritual danger, and I will pray for you tonight.

Please, call me James.

God reserves the right to bless you with a male child or curse you with a female. You are right to not go to some voodoo clinic and have them disturb a child of Jesus. God may very well smote you and make the child a female. All from a little silly curiosity. Even if God does make the child a female, there are things you can do to lessen the burden of a second female in the home. But for now, keep praying for God to make it a male. You must do this constantly to ensure He knows you are serious about Him.
You need to keep your wife away from those bad influences. My wife speaks to no one.

If you're really serious about wanting a male child - and let's face it, why wouldn't you? - there is one good and Godly method you can use:

Genesis 30:37 And Jacob took him rods of green poplar, and of the hazel and chesnut tree; and pilled white strakes in them, and made the white appear which was in the rods.
38 And he set the rods which he had pilled before the flocks in the gutters in the watering troughs when the flocks came to drink, that they should conceive when they came to drink.
39 And the flocks conceived before the rods, and brought forth cattle ringstraked, speckled, and spotted.

Following this good Christian logic, we can see that to maximise your chances of producing a healthy male child you should print off a picture of an admirable Christian man, such as Ronald Reagan or Pastor Zeke, and stare at it while you perform the deed. I know many members of our congregation have reported excellent results from turning their pictures into masks for their wives to wear.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Welcome to God's favorite forum. I hope you understand that we do not sell blubber in the local supermarket here in America, unlike your home "country" of Denmark. Try and teach your squaw to grill a proper steak is my advice.


If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Richard Faraday]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Greetings Mr. Faraday, and welcome to the Godliest place on the internet.

Praise to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that you grew up to be a well adjusted adult in spite of being raised by atheist parents! I have so many questions I'd like to ask about being raised in a godless home, but I don't wish to stir up painful memories. So instead, I'll simply ask how it was that you felt my lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, come into you?
...

Hello
It is a very good question and I will do my best to try and describe it for you.
I felt it at first as a kind of emptyness through my childhood. But it was more than just emptyness - it was a feeling that I still today have a hard time describing. It felt a bit like leaving a good friend behind I guess (not that I've never done that - I'm just imagining now) or like if you've forgotten something important but can't really pinpoint what it is.
I guess that I've seen small signs of Jesus every now and then throughout my life but my eyes weren't quite open due to my childhood - but I do remember that they seemed to increase once I got away from my parents.
But I first noticed a BIG difference when I walked outside that church in December 6 years ago, hearing the lovely singing from inside. It felt... attracted to that place, like an invisible force wanted me to go there. It was a very strange feeling.
And it was there I met that honorable man who I shared my life with, the pastor who first told me that I felt so empty because Jesus was not in my life.
I felt so overwhelmed by that meeting, and that entire experience in general, that I kept comming to that place. And... it's hard to describe but I started to feel that everything was going to be okay. That's where my belief started: everything was going to be okay as long as I had hope and believed in Jesus.

It's funny how everything escalated from there on. I got involved in the community, started reading the bible, starting singing, met a lot of good people - and finally even my future wife Sarah.

[s. warnin]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Greetings Richard, and welcome. I look forward to learning more about you.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Greetings Mr. Faraday, and welcome to the Godliest place on the internet.

Praise to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that you grew up to be a well adjusted adult in spite of being raised by atheist parents! I have so many questions I'd like to ask about being raised in a godless home, but I don't wish to stir up painful memories. So instead, I'll simply ask how it was that you felt my lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, come into you?

Also, I don't think you have to worry about God smiting your child with retardation. According to Genesis 1:27, we are all made in the image of God, and 2 Samuel 22:31 teaches us that God is perfect.

With both those verses in mind, it is obvious that your child will be born perfect, unless he chooses to spit in the smiling face of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and decides to have Downs Syndrome as a way to mock God.

Yours in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Yeshua

[Richard Faraday]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Redeemed Papist:
True indeed. But my parents giving me this name was among the least cruel things they did to me.
Yes I was bullied a little during my first years in school, because of my american last name (it has a strange pronouncation in swedish), but nothing major that affected me in the long run. I don't think the kids were aware that I shared the name of a scientist.

James: Exactly. I fear that by going to that clinic, we go against the will of God - and he might chose to punish us for it and make our first-born female - or worse: give it Downs or something else as a new trial of faith.
God will decide when we are ready to know the sex of the child and we've tried telling that to her friends but they won't listen. They just think that we are silly (but well, we will see who is "silly" when they stand looking down the abyss to hell).
We both pray for a healthy boy every day ofc, I just hope that we are doing it enough.

And those bad friends of hers will soon be gone. The worst one of them will be moving to Stockholm in November and we will get rid of the rest once we get to Montana.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Hello James Hutchins
As of now, Sarah is pregnant with our first child - but we plan to have more children once we've settled in the states. Some of her silly friends have tried talking her into going to a clinic to determine the sex of the child but we both feel that it's not a very christian thing to do.

Please, call me James.

God reserves the right to bless you with a male child or curse you with a female. You are right to not go to some voodoo clinic and have them disturb a child of Jesus. God may very well smote you and make the child a female. All from a little silly curiosity. Even if God does make the child a female, there are things you can do to lessen the burden of a second female in the home. But for now, keep praying for God to make it a male. You must do this constantly to ensure He knows you are serious about Him.
You need to keep your wife away from those bad influences. My wife speaks to no one.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Hello James Hutchins
As of now, Sarah is pregnant with our first child - but we plan to have more children once we've settled in the states. Some of her silly friends have tried talking her into going to a clinic to determine the sex of the child but we both feel that it's not a very christian thing to do.

A cautious welcome to you, Richard. It's just like Swedish atheists to name a fellow after an arch-heretic scientist. I hope you weren't bullied too much as a child as a result. Oh, you wouldn't be, would you, because they'd have thought it wasn't shameful.

You seem to know your Biblical attitude despite such a life of horror and persecution.

Let the love of Jesus radiate into you as you move away from the path to Hell.

[Richard Faraday]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Hello James Hutchins
As of now, Sarah is pregnant with our first child - but we plan to have more children once we've settled in the states. Some of her silly friends have tried talking her into going to a clinic to determine the sex of the child but we both feel that it's not a very christian thing to do.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Richard Faraday greets you!

Welcome Richard, you seem like a fine young man. Very impressive being you are surrounded by the heathens and haters of those 'people'.

How many sons has God seen fit to impregnate your wife with?