[Nobar King]

Re: Hello everyone!

Maybe I can get some style tips, too?

Sure, wear that hat properly. I'm sure you think your rebellious attitude is clever, but it makes you look like a gangbanger, and I don't think THE LORD would appreciate that.

I wear my hat any damn way I want. I haven't had this much abuse since I failed high school in the 11th grade.

[Sonseed]

Re: Hello everyone!

Thomas, I meant no such thing. Everyone knows homosexuals are conniving and wicked, attempting at any chance to deceive the honest, hardworking man by seeming innocent enough when asking him for a ride home in his truck, and then "accidentally" brushing the hair from his ear while "stretching"!

You got me working up a fuss just thinking about it. I hope getting thrown out of a lifted truck on the 67 interstate taught that boy a lesson about messing with the wrong people. It's a shame Obama is still president or I would've done a whole lot worse.

[Thomas Dalton]

Re: Hello everyone!

Pastor Ezekiel, I'm going to be as straightforward and honest as I can with you. If the person pictured in your avatar is you, then I'm 90% positive you're a closet homosexual (that "winking" doesn't help.) Your hair is much too "stylish" to be on the head of any straight, self-respecting man. And you look like you drive a compact foreign car.


Of course, if that's not you then I'm not too worried but I'd still change that avatar because I sure got the wrong impression.

"Closet homosexual"?

I do not think such a thing exists. Everyone knows the only thing gay men want to do is rape Christian men, otherwise they would stay straight as God told them to!

I think this sounds an awful lot like "you're born a homer, it isn't a lifestyle choice". I would avoid such opinions on God's favorite forum if I were you.

And another problem with your "theory" is, how would we be able to stone the Pastor if it were true? (Leviticus 20:13)
The rocks would bounce off harmlessly against his well-shaped, rock-hard abs. Or his magnificent thighs. Or other hard places.

Since he's protected against stoning, God must not want us to stone him, so he isn't a vile homosexual. Q.E.D.

[Voll_EQ]

Re: Hello everyone!

Dear Pastor Ezekiel, i am verry happy that you take this so easy, on the otherhand Matthew 5:43-44 show us what to do

43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

I wish that i someday will be able to follow the bibleas well, i am trying, and i get better, but i still have alot to learn

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello everyone!

Oh heavens, Zeke, this is truly beyond the pale!

I am crying as I type these words, because I am so darned angry that they would do this to you!

Be strong, Pastor Zeke, be strong!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello everyone!

Should I assume, Pastor Zeke, that those lecherous worms acquired pics of your body because of your involvement with water sports programs for Christian youth?

One group of radical queers has made a "magical card game" using images like this one.




This candid photo was stolen from my fiance's personal collection. It drives the homers mad with desire. Sister Daisy Mae fired several of her jigaboos over the scandal.




This one is from the "Men of Landover Baptist" calendar a few years ago. The queers just adore this shot for some reason.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello everyone!

I've heard it said that some queers have actually set up websites scattered across the internets dedicated to the worship of my body, in the vain hope of turning me queer so they could pass me around like a sextoy and commit sodomy on me.

Suddenly I'm glad I haven't uploaded an actual photo of myself. Not that I'm as good looking as you are, but I'm sure those queers would just love to Photoshop my pic so it looked like I was engaged in all manner of wrongness.


Should I assume, Pastor Zeke, that those lecherous worms acquired pics of your body because of your involvement with water sports programs for Christian youth?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello everyone!

I'm used to it, Brother BaBs. Just because I have been blessed with the same blond hair and blue eyes as Jesus, and just because I have a set of rock hard abs and a body that doesn't quit, it doesn't follow that I want to commit sodomy with this Sonseed loser.

I've heard it said that some queers have actually set up websites scattered across the internets dedicated to the worship of my body, in the vain hope of turning me queer so they could pass me around like a sextoy and commit sodomy on me.

The Holy Spirit truly does give you strength, Pastor. I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to be the subject of such depravity. The things these perverts dream of!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello everyone!

Dear Friend,



Don't you think you're paying excessive attention to Pastor Zeke's honey-dappled good looks?

Yours in Him,
BAB

I'm used to it, Brother BaBs. Just because I have been blessed with the same blond hair and blue eyes as Jesus, and just because I have a set of rock hard abs and a body that doesn't quit, it doesn't follow that I want to commit sodomy with this Sonseed loser.

I've heard it said that some queers have actually set up websites scattered across the internets dedicated to the worship of my body, in the vain hope of turning me queer so they could pass me around like a sextoy and commit sodomy on me.

[Sonseed]

Re: Hello everyone!

Zeke works his rock-hard tail off to keep people on the straight and narrow to Heaven, and his boyish good looks -- prettier than most women, true -- are a gift from God. He didn't have any plastic surgery to look like that!

Okay, I get that, but is the winking necessary? It honestly doesn't help.

Maybe I can get some style tips, too?

Sure, wear that hat properly. I'm sure you think your rebellious attitude is clever, but it makes you look like a gangbanger, and I don't think THE LORD would appreciate that.

[Nobar King]

Re: Hello everyone!

Maybe I can get some style tips, too?

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Hello everyone!

Zeke is supposed to apologise for his rugged good looks and rock hard powerful body? Someone seems to be projecting, methinks.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello everyone!

And I'm sorry about Pastor Ezekiel. Maybe it's because where I'm from men work for a living, but I'm just not used to seeing such... flamboyance.

So now you're calling Zeke a layabout? And suggesting he's effeminate?

First step toward getting out of a hole, bub, is to stop digging.

Zeke works his rock-hard tail off to keep people on the straight and narrow to Heaven, and his boyish good looks -- prettier than most women, true -- are a gift from God. He didn't have any plastic surgery to look like that!

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Hello everyone!

Dear Friend,

And I'm sorry about Pastor Ezekiel. Maybe it's because where I'm from men work for a living, but I'm just not used to seeing such... flamboyance.

Don't you think you're paying excessive attention to Pastor Zeke's honey-dappled good looks?

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Sonseed]

Re: Hello everyone!

Faith_Machine, as Rev. Rodimer pointed out, Sonseed is in fact the name of a band, however it is also a semen joke, because the band is Catholic, and as we all know Catholics can't get enough of that stuff (my Catholic neighbors have 8 kids! With 2 more on the way!)

I love that 750! You can rest assured that when my 3 sons aren't out getting themselves an education, they're working tirelessly to get me a down payment on that thing!

And I'm sorry about Pastor Ezekiel. Maybe it's because where I'm from men work for a living, but I'm just not used to seeing such... flamboyance.