Tweet
Hello.
As someone who reads the bible during my spare time 90% of the time, I have come with a couple of concerns of mine that I was hoping you could guide me on.
First of all, I am, unfortunately, british (I refuse to capitalize my unfortunate demonic nationality). Having this revolting, godforsaken excuse for blood flowing through my veins is starting to make me feel ill - every time I bleed, I don't even see blood, but demonic filth seeping from the wound, and even though I have abstained from tea, crumpets, and other unholy british activities, and brush my teeth 7 times a day and get dentist treatment monthly, I am still making no progress of purging myself from the britishness. I dust the six foot American flag in my room every day, but my disgusting british heritage won't go away. Please, true American white Christians - is there anything I can do to completely remove my nationality and become a true American?
Second of all, and this is a shorter one, I am concerned my manhood is at risk - after almost thirty years of my life, I have not had a single urge to marry a woman (NOT a man either, goodnese no!) and I fear that the fact that if this is to continue, I may be barred from heaven from not producing more Christ-serving children. I quite literally cannot work up the appetite to do so, so please, I beg of you, if there's a will in me to get the will to get a woman and start a family in Jesus's name, could you please help me get it out?
Thank you for your time, and may God's empire never end!
As someone who reads the bible during my spare time 90% of the time, I have come with a couple of concerns of mine that I was hoping you could guide me on.
First of all, I am, unfortunately, british (I refuse to capitalize my unfortunate demonic nationality). Having this revolting, godforsaken excuse for blood flowing through my veins is starting to make me feel ill - every time I bleed, I don't even see blood, but demonic filth seeping from the wound, and even though I have abstained from tea, crumpets, and other unholy british activities, and brush my teeth 7 times a day and get dentist treatment monthly, I am still making no progress of purging myself from the britishness. I dust the six foot American flag in my room every day, but my disgusting british heritage won't go away. Please, true American white Christians - is there anything I can do to completely remove my nationality and become a true American?
Second of all, and this is a shorter one, I am concerned my manhood is at risk - after almost thirty years of my life, I have not had a single urge to marry a woman (NOT a man either, goodnese no!) and I fear that the fact that if this is to continue, I may be barred from heaven from not producing more Christ-serving children. I quite literally cannot work up the appetite to do so, so please, I beg of you, if there's a will in me to get the will to get a woman and start a family in Jesus's name, could you please help me get it out?
Thank you for your time, and may God's empire never end!
Comment