A Humble Introduction

[Rapture_Ritual]

Hello, friends. Allow me introduce myself.

My name is John and I love Jesus. I own a copy of the King James Bible (1611) and read it every night before bed. My favorite verse would have to be:

And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. Gensis 1:3-5

The passage is a simple, but powerful message about the beginning and just how much power exists at His hands.

Unfortunately, I do not go to church as there are no churches near me that speak the truth. Rather, only blasphemy, and I refuse to be apart of it despite being criticized for it. This is my reason for joining this site.

[Bible Thumping Billy]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Hi John, welcome. So far you seem like you are intelligent and weary of those evil churches. And you read the KJV 1611, that is splendid news!

Are you married John? Has Jesus given you a wife?

[Rapture_Ritual]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Hi John, welcome. So far you seem like you are intelligent and weary of those evil churches. And you read the KJV 1611, that is splendid news!

Are you married John? Has Jesus given you a wife?

I have yet to marry, but I know God wants me to, as a true christian, and I plan to find a wife very soon who can help me birth a worthy child.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Hello, friends. Allow me introduce myself.

My name is John and I love Jesus. I own a copy of the King James Bible (1611) and read it every night before bed. My favorite verse would have to be:

And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. Gensis 1:3-5

Welcome, John!

While some people would wonder if perhaps tonight was the first night you've read the Bible, I see beyond the fact that your favorite verse is from the first chapter of the first book.

No, it's very clear to me just what you are doing. You are taking a stance as a True Creationist(tm), the sort who sees no contradiction between God creating light and dark and having a first day before He created the sun (source of light on Earth, which defines day and night).

Glory! Welcome aboard, Friend in Christ! The angels in Heaven no doubt are rejoicing at this moment!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Hello, friends. Allow me introduce myself.

My name is John and I love Jesus. I own a copy of the King James Bible (1611) and read it every night before bed. My favorite verse would have to be:

And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. Gensis 1:3-5

The passage is a simple, but powerful message about the beginning and just how much power exists at His hands.

Unfortunately, I do not go to church as there are no churches near me that speak the truth. Rather, only blasphemy, and I refuse to be apart of it despite being criticized for it. This is my reason for joining this site.

Welcome, John, to God's favorite forum. Where do you live that is so satanic? I'm sure that I can steer you in the right direction.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Unfortunately, I do not go to church as there are no churches near me that speak the truth. Rather, only blasphemy...

We hear this a lot from new members. Why haven't you already relocated to a town where there is a proper church? Renting a U-haul and filling it isn't exactly impossible, you know.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Oh I love your avatar! I will admit to having had a crush on Kirk Cameron back in the day.



Now he's a Christian standing strong in the faith!

Praise Jesus!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Oh I love your avatar! I will admit to having had a crush on Kirk Cameron back in the day.


Now he's a Christian standing strong in the faith!

And thus all the more crush-able, right, Sister?

Well, for unmarried women, of course. I know you'd now only fantasize about him proposing to a certain niece of yours.

[Rapture_Ritual]

Re: A Humble Introduction

We hear this a lot from new members. Why haven't you already relocated to a town where there is a proper church? Renting a U-haul and filling it isn't exactly impossible, you know.

As a low income (or no income) university student living in the cold, forsaken prairies of Canada, not only can I not afford a U-haul and a different house, but I depend on living close to the institution.

Thank you Sister for the compliment, and thank you all who offer such a warm welcome in my time of religious turbulence.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Doesn't the government give all kinds of grants and loans to poor university students? I say apply for those, and once you have the money, get the heck out of there! You can always pay back the loan by working at McDonald's or some such. Just make sure you're also tithing adequately. We can set up and automatic, monthly direct deposit from your checking account to the Landover Baptist Church for your convenience.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Doesn't the government give all kinds of grants and loans to poor university students? I say apply for those, and once you have the money, get the heck out of there! You can always pay back the loan by working at McDonald's or some such. Just make sure you're also tithing adequately. We can set up and automatic, monthly direct deposit from your checking account to the Landover Baptist Church for your convenience.

You advocate communism?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: A Humble Introduction

You advocate communism?

I think he's recommending taking advantage of the heathen nation's financial resources to help him flee Canada and move to a Godly town in the United States.

But the fact that this sinner is worried about money and clothes and school, instead of selling his belongings for a bus ticket south to save his own soul, makes me question his sincerity.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: A Humble Introduction

Precisely. My point is that if you really care about going to a legitimate church, there's always a way. Financial hardship is no excuse.

[Rapture_Ritual]

Re: A Humble Introduction

I suppose I hadn't considered it simply because selling everything and moving would not permit me to tithe properly. I had been thinking that if I hold out until graduate, I can move AND give substantial donations to the church.

Please advise.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: A Humble Introduction

I suppose I hadn't considered it simply because selling everything and moving would not permit me to tithe properly. I had been thinking that if I hold out until graduate, I can move AND give substantial donations to the church.

Please advise.

Do you want God to hold out on you?

But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.
II Corinthians 9:6