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  • #1

    Thank God for Landover Baptist

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for accepting me with open arms to your church. Its all perfectly clear now. I finally found the Truth. I have never seen anyone before literally interpret the whole bible, instead of just "cherry picking" what they want. This basically makes everyone I've ever met in the whole world wrong, except those that go to Landover Baptist. I plan to be a lifetime member and participate as much as my time allows in the forms. Thank God once again, I found Landover Baptist...
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  • #2
    Re: Thank God for Landover Baptist

    Welcome friend! I assume you have spoken to Miss Cookie in the Church office and made tithing arrangements? If not, please PM me your bank routing and ISBA numbers as well as the last three years IRS forms.
    Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
    Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
    Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
    Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
    Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
    Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Thank God for Landover Baptist

      Would you mind telling us about yourself? What church do you attend? What are some of your favorite verses?

      Please feel free to share your sordid history of sin, perversion and debauchery. Your tetimony may help others who will read this in the years to come.

      If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

      If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

      You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

      Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Thank God for Landover Baptist

        Good day, Pastor Ezekiel, I woke up to a notification of infraction on my part. My apologies. I was trying to make friends, not "infract". I read the text in question and accept that my communication skills (as you cited), were the culprit. My statement could have been misinterpreted to make the reader assume, that which I did not intend.
        Anyway, It appears I have been a lost True Christian. I was indoctrinated into a baptist church as a child. They would pick and choose from the bible, which is not what God wanted. He wrote our bible so we could have every single word, not just some that a man contorts to control other men. I was lost until I followed a link all the way back to Landover. I stumbled upon your church's website, which had me "between the lines" within seconds. In an effort to figure out exactly what was really going on here, I did some minor exploration, consulted Google, and used a little common sense: Then all the sudden I became enlightened to the true purpose, of True Christians. I immediately jumped on board, registered, and started letting everyone know that I finally found a church with the core values I inherently possess. God is clearly calling for me to funnel everyone in the whole world to Landover to help them become True Christians. I have a purpose now. I was lost, but now I'm found. Thank God for you and your church.
        I would love to quote some of my favorite versus, but my stack of bibles are currently being shipped. I have gone thru them with highlighters and page markers waiting for an opportunity such as this to share, yet I can't until they get here. I can say that my favorite book is Joshua. God really gets in there and helps Joshua forcefully spread Christianity. I am also a big fan of Genesis. The first book lays the framework for the Truth. Why do scientists even bother trying to figure out anything that happened? Its all right there, in the beginning, black and white. Clearly everything that has ever happened, has happened in the 6,000 years the bible has laid out...
        I am a person that never lies or deceives anyone. If I have infracted again, please let me know. Due to the fact that maybe, just maybe, I need to move on because my head will not allow me to wrap completely around the structure of this facet of spreading "Christianity". Thanks

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Thank God for Landover Baptist

          Well, good luck and godspeed to you, BJ. Be careful of the surfnigras that infest the Hawaiian colonies. Most of them are cannibals.
          Who Will Jesus Damn?

          Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

          Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

          Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

          Comment

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