LBC saved me from being a gay eurotrash soccer hooligan

[Ex-soccer player]

Howdy Landover

as my nickname indicates, I am a former soccerplayer, and hail from Nazi Germany. I have managed to find a place which is already electrified (still not common in this backward hellhole) to introduce myself.

I have read some threads in the last few weeks and have tried to find one single fallacy or mistake in the postings made by Godly True Christians© but I didn't succeed. All the facts presented on this forum seem to be 100% right. I guess this is because your conclusions are based upon the infallible Bible in the King James Version from 1611!

My favorite bibleverse? Let's take Mt 15,27

And she said, Truth, Lord: yet the dogs eat of the crumbs which fall from their masters’ table.

I think this should be the proper attitude for unsaved trash and God-forsaken furriners like myself on this Godly© forum.

As to my church, I don't visit any. I fear there are no Bible Believing Baptist Churches where I live. I went to a Baptist Church last sunday but it turned out to be an international place or something, there were negroes standing in front of the door I was afraid of getting robbed so I left the scene quickly. Is there a way of telling if a negro has attended an Ex-negro-program and is now white on the inside? For example, could I leave a delicious pie on the stairhead and wait if it gets stolen?

Thank you for reading. Atheists and wiccans, please refrain from responding to this introduction, because I don't want to associate with you (2 Corinthians 6,14)

YIC

[Noah Sole]

Re: LBC saved me from being a gay eurotrash soccer hooligan

Howdy Landover

as my nickname indicates, I am a former soccerplayer, and hail from Nazi Germany.

Are you a cathlick then? Hitler was.

[Ex-soccer player]

Re: LBC saved me from being a gay eurotrash soccer hooligan

Lutheran. I don't know what's worse.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: LBC saved me from being a gay eurotrash soccer hooligan

Welcome to God's favorite forum, Herr Schnitzelgruber.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: LBC saved me from being a gay eurotrash soccer hooligan

Howdy Landover
As to my church, I don't visit any. I fear there are no Bible Believing Baptist Churches where I live. I went to a Baptist Church last sunday but it turned out to be an international place or something, there were negroes standing in front of the door I was afraid of getting robbed so I left the scene quickly. Is there a way of telling if a negro has attended an Ex-negro-program and is now white on the inside? For example, could I leave a delicious pie on the stairhead and wait if it gets stolen?

Welcome, friend. I understand the feeling of seeing a big black spook near the doors of a church. You don't know if they're going to shake your hand or usher you inside so that a bunch of masked accomplices can rob you. Jesus help us.

Hebrews 10:25 tells us not to forsake the assembling of ourselves together, but when there is no congregation, it looks like you'll have to put an ad in the paper and...tada...the church has arrived!

Pastor Ed

[Roberta]

Re: LBC saved me from being a gay eurotrash soccer hooligan

Is there a way of telling if a negro has attended an Ex-negro-program and is now white on the inside?

If he is wearing something by Ralph Lauren, it's a good bet he's a polo playin' ex. Nike...beware!

[handmaiden]

Re: LBC saved me from being a gay eurotrash soccer hooligan

Howdy Landover


I have read some threads in the last few weeks and have tried to find one single fallacy or mistake in the postings made by Godly True Christians© but I didn't succeed. All the facts presented on this forum seem to be 100% right. I guess this is because your conclusions are based upon the infallible Bible in the King James Version from 1611!

Truly, your words have warmed my heart. We do indeed present the whole and complete, unabridged and unsissyfied version of the Bible.

As long as you can base your beliefs on the Bible in its whole, consistant wisdom you know that you are living your life the way that God intends. And no one can disagree with you!


Contentedly Yours,

Handmaiden