[bevo_with_hair]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

I am certain the line of people to have smote was long, yet the smiting happened quickly.

I too am new here, but would prefer to delay the brimstone until absolutely necessary. I do not feel worthy to receive such attention as my sins are of the usual and ordinary type.

I am married, but my wife does not feel it proper to ask me to leave the computer to use it so I doubt she will be interested in joining in the conversation. She is busy with our 11 children (we tried to have them all but had to adopt 7 of them when HE sent them to us after the heathens were smote in fiery auto crashes) and does not have the time for such things as postulating on the meanings of the subtleties of the book. When she has a question she just asks me.

I only wish that I could live nearer to the church, but I must make do with the teachings here to satisfy my needs.

Thank you for starting this blessed internet message board.

[the riddler]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

In my desire to be Biblically perfect, I do not know if I could go against Gods gentle request. It just seems so, well wrong to defy Him.

If I may, I would like to ask you exactly how you could be "Biblically perfect"

Does it not state CLEARLY in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 that "know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."

With those piercings in your ears and tattoos on your body, are you not desecrating the Lord's Temple with such things?

[bible_is_fiction]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

Jesus will kill you in HIS good time. You'll be cast into the lake of fire soon enough, with all your abo pals, being sodomized by every demon in hell.

Sounds like fun <3

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

still here, mofos

Praise God! He wants so desperately for you to know Him, the REAL Him, that He died on the cross for your sins!

He is a God of mercy, truly!


<-----picture of mercy

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

still here, mofos

Jesus will kill you in HIS good time. You'll be cast into the lake of fire soon enough, with all your abo pals, being sodomized by every demon in hell.

"He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the LORD shall have them in derision." Psalm 2:4

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: If God is real

the fact that im still posting, i think (unlike you people), provides proof enough

Your continued presence on God's favorite forum only proves that Jesus has called you here for a reason.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Didymus Much]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

OP: Did you ever think that, maybe, God's "failure" to strike you down on your command isn't due to any failing on God's part, it's just you don't have a clue about God or how He works?

Don't you think that if God went around smiting every idiot who asked it, they would have put a story like that in the Bible? Well, they didn't.

So are you going to take this chance, actually read the Bible (it's not _that_ long), and find out how God really deals with anti-social little twerps like you? Hint: it ain't pretty.

http://kingjbible.com/genesis/1-1.htm <--- you know you wanna

note: references to God above are relating to God of the Bible (imo a fiction book), and any likeness to actual deities, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me



You must be a real tough guy in person. Or is your "bravery" merely the result of the anonymity the internets provide?



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[mattk1996]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

still here, mofos

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

i am sick of reading your immoral bs on this site. Why do you believe in god and all of that? because you were raised to. thats the only reason. if you werent raised on this brainwashing crap then you would think reasonably and you wouldnt be so hateful people.

Thank you for joining this Christian church's discussion forum, uninvited and unwelcome, to insult us for being different from you.

This must be what you liberals call "tolerance", right?

Or is it "diversity"?

IF GOD IS REAL MAY HE STRIKE ME DOWN NOW. but he wont, oh no, if theres a god, he doesnt give a crap what we do, what we find attractive, what we eat.

Really? Why do you think this? Were you brainwashed by Communists to believe this?

you all honestly need some serious mental help. all i see on this site is JUDGING of other people which is really contradictory to yourself.

Really? Could you show me where the Bible tells us not to judge?

I can show you many cases where we are COMMANDED to judge.

Maybe you should read the Bible before you try to tell Christians who have studied it for decades what it says.

So if I beleive in God because of science and Intelligent Design which I learnt at university you would exempt me from having to kill myself?

ThinksDesign

How do you get from "Intelligent Design" to Jesus, Thinks?

[ExGay Alex]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

So if I beleive in God because of science and Intelligent Design which I learnt at university you would exempt me from having to kill myself?

ThinksDesign

He might. But God won't. You condemn yourself to the second death, described in Revelation, unless you believe in Christ as your personal savior and follow God's commandments, which do NOT include being a homer or a bossy women.

[ExGay Alex]

Re: If God is real

the fact that im still posting, i think (unlike you people), provides proof enough

Matthew 25:13 teaches us that God's timing is his own.

Where do we say that God strikes you down immediately if he doesn't like you? The fact that you are still here is no proof that you are a good person or that there is no God.

Rather, Matthew 13:40-43 explains how this works. On Judgment Day you either go with Jesus or to Hell. You will be cast into the lake of fire. Revelation 20:10.

But nowhere in the Bible is this concept that the bold of lightening comes down when you deny God and defy Him as you have done here. Let's not be ridiculous. Christianity is far more consistent and logical than that. You still have time to turn to Christ and the fact that you are NOT dead is PROOF of his mercy and love for you.

[Noah Sole]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

In my desire to be Biblically perfect, I do not know if I could go against Gods gentle request. It just seems so, well wrong to defy Him.

Do not misunderstand me Brother James. The small he refers to Matt, a big He would refer to God. In no way would I go against his word which I obey to the letter.

Yours in Christ

[James Hutchins]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

I'm sure he could make an exception

YIC

In my desire to be Biblically perfect, I do not know if I could go against Gods gentle request. It just seems so, well wrong to defy Him.

[Noah Sole]

Re: God is real and I want Him to Stone me

So if I beleive in God because of science and Intelligent Design which I learnt at university you would exempt me from having to kill myself?

ThinksDesign

I'm sure he could make an exception

YIC