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  • #1

    God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

    Frankly, I was genuinely thrilled when I surfed through thread after thread of this wonderful forum.

    Thanks for your work. I am from Russia, and I wish there were more people like you here (both liberals and conservatives in Russia don't tend to take things seriously enough).

    On the other hand, I am concerned that a LOT of people both from inside and outside of US are completely Godless. I, for one, could have just walked away forever comforted and heartened by you True Christian Americans. Praise God!

    Still very very happy - really - from what I read here. It literaly filled my heart with joy.

    Caucasianly Yours, True Heterosexual™ but not exactly True Christian™ yet,

    - Ayur Sandanov
    Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 05-21-2012, 02:09 PM. Reason: Clarity
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

    Have you even read the Bible? Why are you here?
    Last edited by Capt. Aaron Portway; 05-21-2012, 02:10 PM. Reason: Typo

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    • #3
      Re: God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

      I am very sorry for the jumbled post above, and promise to post the required introduction within 24 hours.

      Again, forgive me for being unable to do it right now and grant me some of the patience you all seem to embody.

      May Jesus lay his smile upon you treading upon the carcasses of your enemies.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

        Originally posted by AyeBraine View Post
        Frankly, I was genuinely thrilled when I surfed through thread after thread of this wonderful forum.

        Thanks for your work. I am from Russia, and I wish there were more people like you here (both liberals and conservatives in Russia don't tend to take things seriously enough).

        On the other hand, I am concerned that a LOT of people both from inside and outside of US are completely Godless. I, for one, could have just walked away forever comforted and heartened by you True Christian Americans. Praise God!

        Still very very happy - really - from what I read here. It literaly filled my heart with joy.

        Caucasianly Yours, True Heterosexual™ but not exactly True Christian™ yet,

        - Ayur Sandanov
        Posts like these are what keep me posting. When I think about spreading God's Holy Word© as far away as the USSR it makes me think just how far the Word of the Lord can reach.

        If even one Cossack from mother USSR can put their liberal atheist communistical bear baiting ways behind them we here at Landover are doing God's work.

        Oh shout GLORY, GLORY, GLORY!
        1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

        Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

        Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

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        • #5
          Re: God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

          Originally posted by AyeBraine View Post
          Still very very happy - really - from what I read here. It literaly filled my heart with joy.
          Praise God! This is His favorite forum for a reason - we alone are unafraid to speak the Whole Truth about the faith of Christ. His Gospel cannot be silenced!

          To God be the Glory!
          Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

            Добро пожаловать! I am pleased to see you on this forum. I lived for many years in Russia and know first hand the rampant sin and homosexuality that pervades Russia. In fact, their orthodox churches don't even have a place to sit down!! If that's not the work of the Devil, I don't know what is.

            Your name is not very Russian, though. Central Asian, I would say. Did you move to Moscow to clean the streets or work on a construction site? Do you have a proper translation of the Christian Bible? Are you one of those skater boys that hangs out at Chistye Prudy, where I used to minister?
            "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

              Originally posted by AyeBraine View Post
              Thanks for your work.
              You're welcome. But the person you should really thank for our forum is Jesus.

              I am from Russia, and I wish there were more people like you here (both liberals and conservatives in Russia don't tend to take things seriously enough).
              Glad to see someone made it through the commie brainwashing and still loves the Lord.

              On the other hand, I am concerned that a LOT of people both from inside and outside of US are completely Godless.
              Our love for Jesus is the main thing that makes us the greatest country on the planet. That and our pay-for-your-own-healthcare-you-lazy-bum system and the overwhelming firepower that we use to keep the camel jockeys in Afghanistan just beyond the point of victory.

              Still very very happy - really - from what I read here. It literaly filled my heart with joy.
              As your post did with our hearts.
              The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: God, I am dizzy with relief on learning...

                You're the second communist we've had on God's favorite forum in as many days. Jesus is clearly sending you to us in droves to be Saved(c).

                If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

                If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

                You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

                Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
                Who Will Jesus Damn?

                Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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