[Faith_Machine]

Re: Introduction

Well you certainly do look like a fine, upstanding gentleman, Gregory!

I don't know about that Bible college, but I see you've already found the excellent Bible in a Year subforum, and that's an excellent place to start!

[Gregory Jubilay]

Re: Introduction

There we go. Thank you!

Furthermore, I have seen through various profiles in our community that there exists a first through fourth year bible college. Being a man who believes in hard, true science (of Scripture), do you know how I may sign up for these?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Introduction

Gregory, if you look at the column of links on the left hand side of your Control Panel, you'll see that there's an "Edit Profile Picture" link, but also a separate "Edit Avatar" link. I'm guessing you'll want to look at both of those to ensure the right image is plugged in everywhere it's supposed to be. Hope this helps!

[Gregory Jubilay]

Re: Introduction

But if I get the pimps and males to commit, what will happen to all the ladies which they were taking with them? My barnyard can only hold so much, as the males always tell me to hold on to them "for a while".


On a side note, do you know why my picture is not showing up on my posts? I can see it in my Control Panel, yet I am unable to see it in my actual posts.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Introduction

Gregory, if those whores are unsaved (and how could they not be?), you're not doing anybody any favors by finding them husbands. Especially if you trick good Christian men into marrying them! Got does not want us to be unequally yoked:

2 Corinthians 6:14

14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

On the other hand, if you should happen to encounter any pimps or male prostitutes, it would probably be OK for you to convince good Christian ladies to marry them, as that might lead to those men getting saved. Apparently God had a purpose in mind when He designed wives in such a way that they would never stop talking:

1 Peter 3:1

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

[Gregory Jubilay]

Re: Introduction

Dear, Faith_Machine,

I'm afraid I might have been very confusing. I was ranting a while about how all those college students would always run onto my ranch and do stupid things like cow-tipping, etc. The amount of stupid screw-around college kids hanging around the ranching areas subsequently also led to a large amount of prostitutes there.
Reverend, that is a great idea! In our church, we never thought of that, so we sometimes tried to mitigate the threat by taking the prostitutes and trying to find them husbands. That way, they can do what they do best except in the care of God's ideal family.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Introduction

Hold on Gregory, you're saying Chico State students hire whores and then take them cow tipping?

I'm pretty sure that's not what people normally hire whores for.

Good point, Brother!

My congregation has a "Whores for Floors" ministry, through which we bring prostitutes from Indianapolis out to North Salem on Saturday afternoons. They then scrub the floors of several of my congregation's bachelors, and often perform other cleaning tasks. Some married men also avail themselves of the service.

You see, we figured that the girls are so used to being on their knees, that it made sense for them to do something productive while they're down there.

The program is a resounding success! The girls make good money in honest labor, and every man who has had them come by has come to church with a big smile the next day!

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Introduction

Hold on Gregory, you're saying Chico State students hire whores and then take them cow tipping?

I'm pretty sure that's not what people normally hire whores for.

[Gregory Jubilay]

Re: Introduction

Great news, my friends!

I have found my old helicopter and, through the strength of the Lord, discovered a new tank of gas and the instruction manual! Even though the manual had about five pages ripped out, I believe that I can work it properly and go to church again.

Praise be to God!

[Gregory Jubilay]

Re: Introduction

Hello,

Reverend Rodimer, I believe that your skepticism that the ranching business lacks many prostitutes is based upon the prevailing assumption that "large concentrations" of prostitutes are usually centered around more urban areas. However, there are a couple of answers:

1. The term "large" is relative to my city; with only about 25 thousand people in the city, even twenty or thirty prostitutes may be a large number.
2. As the annoying kids from Chico state are always getting escorts, I always see those dirty whores in the yard coming in to do that stupid cow-tipping activity!

On other notes, I must apologize, but my first connections to Christ was through my parents--they were devout Catholics, and that was also probably why I never understood what was happening and never really connected with God. However, the only solace I could find in my family, which constantly engaged in strange sexual acts too often to feed me, the only son, was through the Bible. I come to this forum in order to strengthen my relationship with the Lord and try to improve myself before I find myself too late.

My favorite Bible passage is:

But they deliberately forget that long ago by God's word the heavens existed and the Earth was formed out of water and by water. (2 Peter 3:5)

I am a man of science, and I believe that this passage settles the matter on a scientific resolution of the world's creation. It is a pity no one ever listens.

[Christianzionist]

Re: Introduction

Being a cow hand, do you ever feel the need to combat "brokeback" moments of country solitude with your close buddies?

If so, what scriptures do you read to calm the nerves?

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Introduction

Hello, my name is Gregory Jubilay, and as shown by my profile, I am a large-scale cattle rancher in Paradise, CA. Since our city is so big and gas so expensive, we have not been able to go to church for the past twenty years; thus, in order to do His work, I have set up a small prayer garden myself for Him. It is located next to a large concentration of escorts and harlots, as for them to come and visit my house as well, where I attempt to give them His voice. I live with my wife, who is, sadly, infertile despite my constant hired exorcisms and beatings! Can any True Christians help me?!

From one cattle rancher to another, welcome, Gregory.

Sorry about the wife. It is stunning how difficulty they choose to be. Why a woman refuses to have soldiers for Christ is beyond me!

I'll have your family in my prayers.

YiC,

Pastor Ed

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Introduction

God gave you legs. Walk to church.

Also, what is your favourite Bible verse? How did you come to faith in Christ?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Introduction

If this is Chico, California we're talking about, I am prepared to believe there's a lot of whoring going on there. It is, after all, a "college town."

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Introduction

Hello, my name is Gregory Jubilay, and as shown by my profile, I am a large-scale cattle rancher in Paradise, CA. Since our city is so big and gas so expensive, we have not been able to go to church for the past twenty years; thus, in order to do His work, I have set up a small prayer garden myself for Him. It is located next to a large concentration of escorts and harlots, as for them to come and visit my house as well, where I attempt to give them His voice. I live with my wife, who is, sadly, infertile despite my constant hired exorcisms and beatings! Can any True Christians help me?!

So, you have a "large-scale cattle ranch" which is right next to "a large concentration" of prostitutes, even though the nearest city is Chico.

Care to try that again?