[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Introduction

Fiancée implies female. Are you some sort of dyke?

[Angelie]

Re: Introduction

Have you considered a full-sized guitar?

After all, the Bible tells us to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, not a tinny twang.

I mean I don't play much. My guitar is full-sized, but I sing a lot more than I play guitar. My singing did match me up with my new fiancee after all.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Introduction

I write and sing. I also play a little guitar.

Have you considered a full-sized guitar?

After all, the Bible tells us to make a joyful noise unto the Lord, not a tinny twang.

[Angelie]

Re: Introduction

Do you have any hobbies?

YIC

I write and sing. I also play a little guitar.

[Noah Sole]

Re: Introduction

Well I'm glad that I'm at least doing something right! I would hate to be sent to Hell because I was disrespectful on God's Favorite Forum.

Well congratulations Angelie, you are now a forum member

Isn't it time you put up an avatar or picture of yourself - it seems so much more personal than just talking to a name (as lovely as your name is). Do you have any hobbies?

YIC

[Angelie]

Re: Introduction

Good attitude! God likes it when a woman knows her place. Keep it up and a single man might notice you and enable you to perform female duties.

Well I'm glad that I'm at least doing something right! I would hate to be sent to Hell because I was disrespectful on God's Favorite Forum.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Introduction

Never mind, I'm just going to hold my fire. I will not be caught being disrespectful to a True Christian on God's Favorite Forum. I was told to keep a respectful tongue in my head while addressing my betters, and that's what I intend to do.

Good attitude! God likes it when a woman knows her place. Keep it up and a single man might notice you and enable you to perform female duties.

[Angelie]

Re: Introduction

If there's a problem with my genuine concern that your abuse of your ladygarden with a devil rod has ruined your chances of being found acceptable as a wife then out with it. You were the one who shamelessly let it be known.

How are you going to produce the required bedsheet?

I have no problem with your concern Sir, however I can whole-heartedly assure you that I am pure. I do not lie about matters such as this.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Introduction

Never mind, I'm just going to hold my fire. I will not be caught being disrespectful to a True Christian on God's Favorite Forum. I was told to keep a respectful tongue in my head while addressing my betters, and that's what I intend to do.

If there's a problem with my genuine concern that your abuse of your ladygarden with a devil rod has ruined your chances of being found acceptable as a wife then out with it. You were the one who shamelessly let it be known.

How are you going to produce the required bedsheet?

[Angelie]

Re: Introduction

It's a simple point. The use of a dildo puts you at risk of displeasing God. What's un-Biblical about it?

Never mind, I'm just going to hold my fire. I will not be caught being disrespectful to a True Christian on God's Favorite Forum. I was told to keep a respectful tongue in my head while addressing my betters, and that's what I intend to do.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Introduction

Whoa... never said that. And here I was about to give another piece of my testimony... there went that idea.

It's a simple point. The use of a dildo puts you at risk of displeasing God. What's un-Biblical about it?

[Angelie]

Re: Introduction

How are you going to avoid deserving to be killed on your wedding night now?

Deuteronomy 22:13-14,20-21
13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Whoa... never said that. And here I was about to give another piece of my testimony... there went that idea.

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Introduction

Relax, I'm not one for getting too upset. However, when I wasn't saved, I had a large dildo so I never involved in fornication. However, I will admit I was always extremely satisfied.

How are you going to avoid deserving to be killed on your wedding night now?

Deuteronomy 22:13-14,20-21
13If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her, 14And give occasions of speech against her, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came to her, I found her not a maid:

20But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you.

[Angelie]

Re: Introduction

Welcome to Angelie! I'm glad you found us. But I think we need to hear more about your sinful past before we can help you. And not to be the bearer of bad news, but if you're not currently a member of an Independent Baptist Church, you're not Saved©.

Now, before you get all upset, simply wanting to be with Jesus isn't enough. You need to unburden yourself of all of your sins, especially the ones that involve fornication. So please, in the interest of your immortal soul, tell us just how much a of a filthy cum-dumpster you used to be. GLORY!

Relax, I'm not one for getting too upset. However, when I wasn't saved, I had a large dildo so I never involved in fornication. However, I will admit I was always extremely satisfied.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Introduction

Now, Angelie, it's very important to start reading the Bible and learn who God is, and what He expects of you.

He requires that we follow ALL of his 600+ Commands, not just the ones we like. And it's difficult to follow them all, if you don't know what they are!

Have you found a Bible yet?