My True Intro Thread

[4chanNancyboy (On Moderation)]

I'm an theist and I think you're all mental
Church I go to is none because I don't believe in it.
Here's my story how I met Jesus
[7:41:50 PM] The Pichu: A stoned man in a white robe and brown beard showed up to my house and threw several banannas at me. Taking great offense to this, i threw an egg at him and he ran away.
Then i resumed throwing eggs at him until a chicken came out of one. I then pulled a grenade out of my ass and gave praise to allah and blew up the city.
Ps.You're all mental

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My True Intro Thread

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Angelie]

Re: My True Intro Thread

I'm an theist and I think you're all mental
Church I go to is none because I don't believe in it.
Here's my story how I met Jesus
[7:41:50 PM] The Pichu: A stoned man in a white robe and brown beard showed up to my house and threw several banannas at me. Taking great offense to this, i threw an egg at him and he ran away.
Then i resumed throwing eggs at him until a chicken came out of one. I then pulled a grenade out of my ass and gave praise to allah and blew up the city.
Ps.You're all mental

Why do you hate Jesus? He died (temporarily) for your sins!

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: My True Intro Thread

First you say this:

I'm an theist and I think you're all mental

Then, you follow with this fever dream nightmare

Here's my story how I met Jesus
[7:41:50 PM] The Pichu: A stoned man in a white robe and brown beard showed up to my house and threw several banannas at me. Taking great offense to this, i threw an egg at him and he ran away.
Then i resumed throwing eggs at him until a chicken came out of one. I then pulled a grenade out of my ass and gave praise to allah and blew up the city.
Ps.You're all mental

This is what is known as unintentional irony.








'

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My True Intro Thread

This is what is known as unintentional irony.

I thought it was just illiteracy, Brother.

[4chanNancyboy (On Moderation)]

Re: My True Intro Thread

gay porn deleted

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: My True Intro Thread

Tell you what, numbnuts: Go back to 4-chan and link to this thread, and let everyone know what a successful troll you were.

Let us know how that goes.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My True Intro Thread

An illiterate moron makes a complete ass of himself and declares himself a "successful troll"?

[Jedediah]

Re: My True Intro Thread

It seems this degenerate pubescent has nothing better to do on a Saturday night than to persecute those of us who put our faith in the LORD of hosts. I guess this means he's out of Kleenex, in addition to having rubbed himself raw by the time the sun had gone down.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My True Intro Thread

I guess this means he's out of Kleenex.

. . . or his Mommy started locking up her underwear drawer.

[4chanNancyboy (On Moderation)]

Re: My True Intro Thread

Why do you hate Jesus? He died (temporarily) for your sins!

You guys are giving me a nice laugh
Oh by the way the fact that you underline "Your" means me specifically
So thanks for calling me an immortal being,I appreciate it.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: My True Intro Thread

You guys are giving me a nice laugh
Oh by the way the fact that you underline "Your" means me specifically
So thanks for calling me an immortal being,I appreciate it.

In words you'd understand: "Reading comprehension: You're doing it wrong."

She didn't call you an immortal being, she said Jesus temporarily died for your sins. Yes, the sins YOU are committing even as you masturbate into your mother's lace panties.

Jesus temporarily sacrificed Himself for the sins of people alive at the time, and all who come after. EVEN YOU.

Imbecile.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My True Intro Thread

I'm an theist and I think you're all mental
Church I go to is none because I don't believe in it.
Here's my story how I met Jesus
[7:41:50 PM] The Pichu: A stoned man in a white robe and brown beard showed up to my house and threw several banannas at me. Taking great offense to this, i threw an egg at him and he ran away.
Then i resumed throwing eggs at him until a chicken came out of one. I then pulled a grenade out of my ass and gave praise to allah and blew up the city.
Ps.You're all mental

Dear Godmocking Queer;

Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule of worshiping satan and sucking off anyone with a dollar to post this hateful message. The Holy Bible tells us that we are actually Blessed by your persecution! Thanks for proving that we're right.

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I can't wait to watch you burn in hell for all eternity. Oh, how we'll laugh at you as you scream in agony! Shout Glory!!

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Didymus Much]

Re: My True Intro Thread

...Oh by the way the fact that you underline "Your" means me specifically...

Yoohoo, Tardicus Maximus: she's a Forum Member (only means she's at least playing along nicely), NOT a True Christian(tm), which means her opinion is, well, I won't say completely invalid, but close to it.

You only gain eternal life (after resurrection, so it's not real immortality) if you accept Jesus entering you and filling you with His warm, gushing Love (at least that's how they keep describing it, sounds a bit disturbing to me, tbh).

[4chanNancyboy (On Moderation)]

Re: My True Intro Thread