[Didymus Much]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

...Sometimes I write poetry...

Oh, don't you fucking dare.

[Isabel G]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

I call this "My Story"

I used to be a hot mess
Hanging in the clubs
Drinking Rum
Because I hadn't accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior
But now, I live blessed

I used to rock the cock
Running from the pimps
Dodging bullets
I lived the hot mess story
But since I came to The Lord
I live to bring Him praise

He went to the cross just for me and you
He laid His life down, for three whole days
And then He raised Himself from the dead
He's the one I'll serve to the end.

[Isabel G]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

I need to make a confession. The dildo story is true, but it was not the first time I ever saw one. When I was younger, I became a dildo addict. My family found out and they tried to get me to take medication to get over my addiction.

I would steal Bacardi from the local bodega, get drunk, and then I'd pound myself for hours. But then Jesus showed me miracles by healing me. You see, I abused my cooter so much I ended up in the hospital. It was there that I died, twice, I met Jesus while I was dead. He told me He had a plan for me, and He saved my soul and my life right there in that hospital bed.

So that's how I know I'm saved, because I don't ram myself for hours on end anymore with giant rubber penises. Jesus is all I need to "get off" now!

[Levi Jones]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

I admit I'm suspicious, even though the DOF says you're clear.

So how is Staten Island this time of year?

[Isabel G]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

It's hot right now, just like it is in Brooklyn where I live. If you want to know about Staten Island, you should ask Angelie. She's been there, I just know it.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

Sister, I for one believe you! Praise! I used to be a pervert too, and it was booze related. I used to drunkenly cruise personal ads for couples with a "hotwife". The sissy husbands watch you while you do their nymphomaniac wives.

But the Lord saved me from that, then I backslid, and He saved me again, then I backslid again, then He saved me. I backslid once more and was Saved© once and for all when I found Landover! Glory!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

I'm not sure I buy this one.

Look at her name. It's like someone cut off the last three letters.

Is-A-Belgian! She could be another of those loons who thinks Belgium is real!

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

No, I've never registered before, not that I can remember, but I used to be a hot mess, drunk on Bacardi all the time, so maybe I did and just don't remember. Once, I woke up with a dildo in my bed and I don't know where it came from.

It smelled awful so I threw it out the window and a dog grabbed it, but then he barfed so hard that he died right there in the street!

Do anyways, it's nice to meet you all, but I have to go to my miniature guitar lesson now.

Blessings,

Isabel G from Brooklyn

Wow, small world Isabel, I also was drunk once and woke up with a strap on vagina in my bed that smelled like the pits of hell itself. I thought it was a fluke, but was informed by several knowlegeable pastors that they are supposed to smell like that. I think I still have it down in the basement, if you are interested, I can send it to you to practice your munching. Through careful studying of the Scriptures, we have determined that masturbating is not quite as big of a sin if you concentrate on Jesus while doing it. YIC