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  • #1

    Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

    Hi everybody!

    I just found you forum and I really like it. You seem to have a great Plan for how to live you lives. Here's a little about me.

    I live in New York with my Mom. My Dad and I don't get along, he's a criminal. I used to be a slut, but that was when I was younger, although sometimes I still get drunk on rum and . . . Well, I'm trying to do better. I sing and play a miniature guitar (it's really cute).

    I'm a Penetcostal but I'm thinking about becoming a Baptist. Sometimes I write poetry, but people try to steal it and claim its their ow, but God knows better, right?

    My favorite Bible verse? That's kinda hard. I'll post it later when I pick one. I have to go now, because I think people are about to shoot at me. I get shot at all the time, since I'm still sort of a hot mess.

    blessings,

    Isabel G from Brooklyn
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

    Hi, Isabel...

    Isabel from Brooklyn...

    Weird - it's like they make people in a factory on Brooklyn. They all seem so similar. It must be Satan's influence.
    sigpic
    Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

    John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

    Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
    The truth about volcanos
    Sex and debauchery in public schools
    Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
    God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
    Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

      Well, hello person I have never met before.

      What brings you outta da club to our humble forum for the first time ever?
      Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


      sigpic

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

        Welcome to God's favorite forum, Isabel. I hope you aren't one of those Joo York City poorto-ricans. They're worse than the wetbacks.

        If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

        If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

        You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

        Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
        Who Will Jesus Damn?

        Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

        Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

        Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

          Welcome friend! I feell like I already know all about you.

          I'd suggest you telling us all about you however, I suspect that is redundant.
          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

            Hi everybody!
            Yes, most of the girls in Brooklyn are fat-faced unsaved sluts who lie all the time and pretend to be something they are not. I can see why you wouldn't trust me, since on the Internet, you can just say you are saved when you really aren't.

            But trust me, I am saved and I've never been on your site before this time. I lurked for a while before I registered, but just to read about all the unsaved sluts from Brooklyn mostly.

            By the way, I write lots of poetry, but most of it is awful and it makes me want to kill myself, but don't worry, because I have a Master Plan on how to become better. I'm also a terrible singer, but I keep trying!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

              So you've never registered on our Godly forum under a different name? Because God hates a liar.

              Proverbs 6
              [16] These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
              [17] A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
              [18] An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
              [19] A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                Isabel, it is refreshing to met a female who is finally honest about herself. Most females try and claim they are attractive, young ladies when in fact, they are homely faced rejects that scare the flys from trash trucks.
                I am sure when Gods deposits rain drops upon you, it is the best golden shower of your life. Tell me, do you ever do the 'Stray Cat Strut'?
                Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                  No, I've never registered before, not that I can remember, but I used to be a hot mess, drunk on Bacardi all the time, so maybe I did and just don't remember. Once, I woke up with a dildo in my bed and I don't know where it came from.

                  It smelled awful so I threw it out the window and a dog grabbed it, but then he barfed so hard that he died right there in the street!

                  Do anyways, it's nice to meet you all, but I have to go to my miniature guitar lesson now.

                  Blessings,

                  Isabel G from Brooklyn

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                    What an ugly dog in your avatar. If my dog was that ugly I would have it put down.
                    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.


                    sigpic

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                      Hot mess... where did I see that phrase before?

                      Not in the Bible, that's for sure. The Holy Spirit sure is niggling in my head today. What can it mean? These Brooklyn folk sure are deep, subtle and mysterious.
                      sigpic
                      Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

                      John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

                      Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
                      The truth about volcanos
                      Sex and debauchery in public schools
                      Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
                      God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
                      Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                        Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                        What an ugly dog in your avatar. If my dog was that ugly I would have it put down.
                        That picture is of the dog that died after biting the stinky mystery dildo. I used him as my avatar to remind me how much God hates diseased sluts and the dogs that come in contact with them.

                        Blessings,

                        Isabel G from Brooklyn

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                          Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
                          What an ugly dog in your avatar. If my dog was that ugly I would have it put down.
                          I would shoot it, given the chance.

                          Psst : I think that is her, not her dog.

                          Is that salsa sauce all over you 'wiskers', Isabel?
                          Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                          Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                          Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                          Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                          Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                          Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                            Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                            I would shoot it, given the chance.

                            Psst : I think that is her, not her dog.

                            Is that salsa sauce all over you 'wiskers', Isabel?
                            Like I said, the dog is already dead. I took that picture right before he started barfing. He barfed his guts out, literally. That stuff on his whiskers was probably from the dildo, there was all sorts of goo on it and it reeked to high heaven.

                            Whoever was using it must've been really gross.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Isabel from Brooklyn says hello to all the good Christians at Landover!

                              What's a dildo?



                              Yours in Christ,

                              Z. Smyth
                              sigpic

                              Comment

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