Fellow Christians

[Sherman of Babylon]

I am Sherman, and I have come upon God's holy forum in a moment of uttermost weakness.

I have fallen from God's favor. I missed several church meetings and He has brought evil things to plague me. Now, I turn back to God because my family has become Catholic Mary-lovers. I have left my family to join God.

Please, friends, join me in prayer.

Psalm 33:22 Let thy mercy, O LORD, be upon us, according as we hope in thee.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Fellow Christians

What evils has the Lord wrought upon you for your transgressions? Is it emrods or perhaps a plague of frogs?

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Fellow Christians

I have fallen from God's favor. I missed several church meetings and He has brought evil things to plague me.

Which church do you go to?

Now, I turn back to God because my family has become Catholic Mary-lovers. I have left my family to join God.

Are you a Christian? How did you become a Christian?

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Fellow Christians

Now, I turn back to God because my family has become Catholic Mary-lovers. I have left my family to join God.

You must not be much of a husband or father if you didn't even notice while your whole family was being converted to Catholicism! What was so important that you couldn't be troubled to keep an eye on your children and womenfolk? An important baseball game on the tube? That's what VCRs are for!

[Sherman of Babylon]

Re: Fellow Christians

I am not a husband or father.

I was born into a good, church attending Baptist family. But they have become Catholics, and I have left them because of it. I am looking to help me find salvation on the Holy forum of our Lord.

I attended Boston's Church of Jesus. I am a very strong believer in our God, and I have disowned my brother who is a scientist. I believe science is a mockery of God.

[Pim Pendergast]

Re: Fellow Christians

I am not a husband or father.

Why not? Are you queer?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Fellow Christians

I am not a husband or father.

I was born into a good, church attending Baptist family. But they have become Catholics, and I have left them because of it. I am looking to help me find salvation on the Holy forum of our Lord.

I attended Boston's Church of Jesus. I am a very strong believer in our God, and I have disowned my brother who is a scientist. I believe science is a mockery of God.

What has bought you back into the fold?

Speak up now and speak the Truth(tm) for we have many false converts attempting to make light of the Lord.

YIC

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: Fellow Christians

What has bought you back into the fold?

Speak up now and speak the Truth™ for we have many false converts attempting to make light of the Lord.

YIC

He's not very chatty, is he?

Well, I'll welcome him anyway, but I bet he turns out to be yet another disappointment. Lord, why must you task us with so many retardeds?

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Fellow Christians

The Bible (KJV1611) tells all about her sort.

Proverbs 14:7*Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge.

I hate time wasters.

YIC

[Noah Sole]

Re: Fellow Christians

Maybe she is holier than we think:

Ecclesiastes 5:2
Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty to utter any thing before God: for God is in heaven, and thou upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.

Or maybe she just takes a long time to think things through.

Or, as you say, she's just another retarded.

YIC

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Fellow Christians

Well, if she has a rash on her mouth it is most likely herpes

And we all know what that means!

That's right: oral sodomy!

If she's not a whore she most likely is

YIC

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Fellow Christians

Well, if she has a rash on her mouth it is most likely herpes

And we all know what that means!

That's right: oral sodomy!

If she's not a whore she most likely is

YIC

Deuteronomy 28:27

King James Version (KJV)

27 The Lord will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.

Lo, He is mighty.

Imagine the psychological torture of having an itch which can never be healed. I wonder if the botch of Egypt persists even in Hell. I think that would be glorious. Imagine billions of filthy sinners scratching at their genitals while the flesh is being melted off their bones. Glory!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Fellow Christians

I was born into a good, church attending Baptist family. But they have become Catholics, and I have left them because of it. I am looking to help me find salvation on the Holy forum of our Lord.

I attended Boston's Church of Jesus. I am a very strong believer in our God, and I have disowned my brother who is a scientist. I believe science is a mockery of God.

You're a Gingrich, aren't you?

How unfortunate for you.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Fellow Christians

I attended Boston's Church of Jesus.

So you're a Mormon?


This is a Christian forum. I'm afraid you'll have to leave.

[Sherman of Babylon]

Re: Fellow Christians

So you're a Mormon?


This is a Christian forum. I'm afraid you'll have to leave.

NO I'm not a mormon. I'm baptist