Hello!

[Malachi Ing]

Hello Landover Baptist Church!

My name is Malachi Ing from Honululu, Hawaii. I go to Ohana Baptist church in Honululu. Although there are many Christians in my family, my parents were both evolutionist atheists. Luckily, when I was 12 years old, I went to visit my Uncle George, a man of GOD. He introduced me to the faith and gave me my first Bible. As soon as I turned 18, I went to get myself baptised and changed my first name from Darwin to Malachi. I am very grateful to God and the Baptist Church for saving me from the grim fate of being an atheist.

My favorite verse from the Good Book (KJV of course) is:
Revelations 21:1-2
"And I saw a new heaven and a new earth: for the first heaven and the first earth were passed away; and there was no more sea. And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband."

[Steve]

Re: Hello!

Well met, friend! You seem like a Godly fellow for a chink, we don`t get many of those around here. Are you married? How many sons has your wife borne for you? How is her sushi? Do you plan on leaving those little island and moving to the Godly 48 anytime soon?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

Dear Hop-Sing;

I'm not hiring any gardeners at the moment, but Rev. Jim might be. I heard one of his slant gardenboys fell off the cliff by his place in San Diego.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Hello!

Well hello! Welcome to our friendly forums!

I'll praise God with you for your deliverance from the atheist delusions!

So tell us, do you have a wife? You look a little old to be a bachelor. You're not a homosexual China-man, are you?

[Thinks Design]

Re: Hello!

Why can't we focus on the positives here and not focuss on his race? The Designer made us all for a reason. White people may be better swimmers and smarter all round but orientals are more cunning.

There are many differences built in to us by the Disigner: black people can run and box (because of their rough life styles), white people can swim (ever heared how Britainia ruled the waves?), the Scandanaviens are big enough to move rocks!

If people where not front loaded with the physical characteristics that would contradict the Deaign hypothesis.

Different but equal, people!

ThinksDesign.

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: Hello!

White people may be better swimmers and smarter all round but orientals are more cunning.

There are many differences built in to us by the Disigner: black people can run and box (because of their rough life styles), white people can swim (ever heared how Britainia ruled the waves?), the Scandanaviens are big enough to move rocks!

If people where not front loaded with the physical characteristics that would contradict the Deaign hypothesis.

This racist, Nazi, eugenic propaganda is unwelcome at Landover. Cease your campaign against the lesser races or prepare to be moderated.

Also, I do not appreciate all of the subliminal messages about anal sex. I suggest you get your mind out of the gutter. Jesus and I are losing our patience with you.