Allow Me To Introduce Myself

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

tl:dr

What's a "pannther" ???

[Black Pinhead]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Yeah, sorry about that.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

That was terrible.

I have a headache now from trying to read that.

Would you like to rewrite that without numerals, or would you like me to do so for you?

[Black Pinhead]

I am of course grateful to be on your forum for the first time. I am an adult woman who has neglected to be truly subservient to my husband, and tomato staker to our two daughters. My favorite verse in the bible? Hmm, I would say Psalm 139: 1-24 because it is poetic. I haven't bothered sharing the Perfect Gospel Message with innocent souls destined to find their sinful ways have led them straight to Hell. What they believe is entirely up to them and as I have no empathy for others, I couldn't care less.

Although I don't believe being a homer is something a person is born with, I also don't care enough about those disgusting perverts to care about their souls and so keep the Bible to myself. If I was a decent person in any way, I I would dedicate my life to service to the LORD. I would sit at the feet of the good and Spirit-Filled pastors here and learn that which my own parents failed to instruct me.

I'm not perfect. God knows that better then anyone, but it won't take long for you all to see just how flawed I am. I feel terribly guilty for ever having embraced the goth death-style and so I humbly ask you all to pray for me. I publicly renounce my Hell-bound ways, my child neglect, and my lack of attention to my husband. I know that I have sinned against the LORD whose loincloth I am not fit to girdle. My evil thoughts and feelings have separated me from Him for too long and I beg for mercy. I humbly offer myself as a Slave for Christ and will show my appreciation and dedication to this wonderful church by virtue of my unconditional obedience.