Allow Me To Introduce Myself

[Black Pinhead]

I am of course grateful to be on your forum for the first time. I am an adult woman who has neglected to be truly subservient to my husband, and tomato staker to our two daughters. My favorite verse in the bible? Hmm, I would say Psalm 139: 1-24 because it is poetic. I haven't bothered sharing the Perfect Gospel Message with innocent souls destined to find their sinful ways have led them straight to Hell. What they believe is entirely up to them and as I have no empathy for others, I couldn't care less.

Although I don't believe being a homer is something a person is born with, I also don't care enough about those disgusting perverts to care about their souls and so keep the Bible to myself. If I was a decent person in any way, I I would dedicate my life to service to the LORD. I would sit at the feet of the good and Spirit-Filled pastors here and learn that which my own parents failed to instruct me.

I'm not perfect. God knows that better then anyone, but it won't take long for you all to see just how flawed I am. I feel terribly guilty for ever having embraced the goth death-style and so I humbly ask you all to pray for me. I publicly renounce my Hell-bound ways, my child neglect, and my lack of attention to my husband. I know that I have sinned against the LORD whose loincloth I am not fit to girdle. My evil thoughts and feelings have separated me from Him for too long and I beg for mercy. I humbly offer myself as a Slave for Christ and will show my appreciation and dedication to this wonderful church by virtue of my unconditional obedience.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

That was terrible.

I have a headache now from trying to read that.

Would you like to rewrite that without numerals, or would you like me to do so for you?

[Black Pinhead]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Yeah, sorry about that.

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

tl:dr

What's a "pannther" ???

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Yeah, sorry about that.

Yeah which? You want to rewrite it or shall I?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

. I was completely honest about who I am although some pple or everyone, I'm not sure, might condemn me 2 hell and if u do, at least send me there with a bag of marshmallows so that I can roast them.

Dear Text-tard:

This isn't Twitter, and you're not sending text messages. Please take the time to write out complete sentences if you expect us to take the time to read your little self-absorbed rants.

I see you have overlooked two-thirds of the idiot-proof instructions at the top of the page. Try to complete the remaining items, and then explain why you have decided to join a Christian church's private discussion forum, uninvited and unwelcome, when you hate Jesus and ignore His Word.

[Black Pinhead]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

What's a "pannther" ???

When I first got on, I tried to go by the screen name Black Panther but it was already taken so I decided to spell Panther with two Ns instead of one. Also, how do I edit my thread? There are some misspellings I would like to correct?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Also, how do I edit my thread? There are some misspellings I would like to correct?

You don't. You pay attention next time, and you hit "preview" and then proofread your work, before hitting "submit".

[Black Pinhead]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Yeah which? You want to rewrite it or shall I?

If you'd like too, I'm okay with that.

[Black Pinhead]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Dear Text-tard:

This isn't Twitter, and you're not sending text messages. Please take the time to write out complete sentences if you expect us to take the time to read your little self-absorbed rants.

I see you have overlooked two-thirds of the idiot-proof instructions at the top of the page. Try to complete the remaining items, and then explain why you have decided to join a Christian church's private discussion forum, uninvited and unwelcome, when you hate Jesus and ignore His Word.

I have a question, do you go around insulting pple (Ooops I mean people) about their writing. How they shorten their words and so on? Here's a thought, what u (Oops, you) consider to be self absorbed rants, I consider to actually being open and honest with everyone. Hey, guess what? I go to church on Sundays. I say the prayers and mean them. I don't hate Jesus but thank you for judging me oh holier than thou. I ignore the bible? How do you know if I ignore it? Are you there to watch me ignore God's word? Let's see, I don't commit adultry, I have no other Gods beside the one true God, I don't lie, not only is a wrong but it's a lot of hard work so I feel the truth is much easier to deal with and it's how you gain people's trust. I don't go putting people down because of poor spelling or poor grammer. When a person results to name calling, I can't see how that makes them a true Christain. I also don't shun people out of here because they are flawed. That is WRONG!!!! When I go to church, they don't kick people out and tell them they are unwanted or unwelcome simply because they are sinners. NO. They teach them the word of God without passing judgment. When people like YOU put other people down, it is enough to drive anyone away from Christianity. Do you want that put on your head? If you're going to talk the talk, then you need to walk the walk. Meaning, practice what you preach. STOP PUTTING ME DOWN!!! and STOP JUDGING ME!!!! I haven't done anything to you so you don't have the right to attack me like you did.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

When I go to church, they don't kick people out and tell them they are unwanted or unwelcome simply because they are sinners.

What does it say at the top of every single page of this forum?

Directly above "OFFICIAL TRUE CHRISTIAN(tm) CHURCH WEB FORUMS"?

What does it say? Can you read that?

[Deaner]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Har, har, har. Black Pinhead. Baby Jesus if funnier than a barrel of monkeys (ha, ha,... monkeys!! They just keep coming from that hanging on the cross dude!!)

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

By the way, people without sin should cast the first stone? True Christians are without sin.

[Little Donkey]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I detect the negroidal temperament with this poster. Something just irks me about Pple (people "lol") needing praise for not being a thieving, murdering prostitute and not injecting LSD or the Drugs into their brain every night.

So, a good job Girl, well done to YOU, you're an amazing person!

It's much more than anyone could have hoped - and that's not a sarcastic jab if I'm right about your nigress background.

[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: Allow Me To Introduce Myself

I have a question, do you go around insulting pple (Ooops I mean people) about their writing. How they shorten their words and so on? Here's a thought, what u (Oops, you) consider to be self absorbed rants, I consider to actually being open and honest with everyone. Hey, guess what? I go to church on Sundays. I say the prayers and mean them. I don't hate Jesus but thank you for judging me oh holier than thou. I ignore the bible? How do you know if I ignore it? Are you there to watch me ignore God's word? Let's see, I don't commit adultry, I have no other Gods beside the one true God, I don't lie, not only is a wrong but it's a lot of hard work so I feel the truth is much easier to deal with and it's how you gain people's trust. I don't go putting people down because of poor spelling or poor grammer. When a person results to name calling, I can't see how that makes them a true Christain. I also don't shun people out of here because they are flawed. That is WRONG!!!! When I go to church, they don't kick people out and tell them they are unwanted or unwelcome simply because they are sinners. NO. They teach them the word of God without passing judgment. When people like YOU put other people down, it is enough to drive anyone away from Christianity. Do you want that put on your head? If you're going to talk the talk, then you need to walk the walk. Meaning, practice what you preach. STOP PUTTING ME DOWN!!! and STOP JUDGING ME!!!! I haven't done anything to you so you don't have the right to attack me like you did.

Wall of text.

Where you born in a barn?

Jesus died for several days for you: can't you use paragraphs for Him?

YIC