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  • Jobforacowboy
    Confirmed Enemy of God
    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
    • Sep 2012
    • 1

    #16
    Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

    I am filled in a house filled with masturbaters! What must i do?

    Comment

    • Deaner
      Christ's Love Messenger
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 5932

      #17
      Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

      Originally posted by Jobforacowboy View Post
      I am filled in a house filled with masturbaters! What must i do?
      Kill them, then yourself.

      Comment

      • Mary Etheldreda
        Gushing for Jesus
         
        • Sep 2011
        • 23775

        #18
        Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

        Originally posted by Bridegroom of Blood View Post
        My user name is not a referance to vampires but to Moses in my favorite verse when Zipporah splatters the blood the on him and says "you are a bridegroom of blood." to me after she did the cutting of their son's foreskin and its sometime called Husband of Blood too.


        And God was going to kill Moses for not doing the cutting of the forskin rember don't let your sons be philastines or God will kill you for it.
        Oh I LOVE this story! Probably for different reasons than you, do you mind if I share?

        See, what I love about it is the very fact that this PROVES beyond the shadow of a doubt that a loving God has inspired the Holy Bible, rather than a collection of various authors from different times, different cultures, all compiled centuries later by a community of bishops fighting for dominance in the 4th century in a world of competing political and religious infrastructures like atheists would have you believe. I mean, who in the world could come up with a sign for devotion and love like slicing off the foreskin of a boy's most tender body part with a primitive and unsanitary sharp tool? It's inconceivable to the human mind. So it could ONLY have been GOD!
        For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
        For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
        Isaiah 55:8-9



        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Rev. M. Rodimer
          Honorary True Christian™
          Forum Member
          • May 2008
          • 13996

          #19
          Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

          Originally posted by Deaner View Post
          Are we talking to a male or female here Brother non-papist?
          It's very likely, but we can't know for sure . . .
          Bible boring? Nonsense!
          Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
          You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

          Comment

          • Faith_Machine
            Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
            True Christian™
            • Mar 2011
            • 10050

            #20
            Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

            Her username is a reference to a "black metal" band called Bridegroom of Blood. Horrible musicians. I sold meth to them a few times back when I was unsaved.
            WARNING:
            In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
            REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

            Comment

            • Rev. M. Rodimer
              Honorary True Christian™
              Forum Member
              • May 2008
              • 13996

              #21
              Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

              Originally posted by Faith_Machine View Post
              Her username is a reference to a "black metal" band called Bridegroom of Blood. Horrible musicians. I sold meth to them a few times back when I was unsaved.
              I was figuring it was Bridegroom of Chucky, the sodomarriage horror flick.
              Bible boring? Nonsense!
              Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
              You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

              Comment

              • david barnhart
                Unsaved trash, heavy metal pervert
                • Sep 2012
                • 6

                #22
                Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                please change my name back and no i am not a heavy metal perverte i am a born again christan and it really is a reference to my favorite verse well i thought i was on a real christan site i guess was wrong

                Comment

                • Faith_Machine
                  Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                  True Christian™
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 10050

                  #23
                  Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                  Wait, you're David Barnhart!?

                  Oh my goodness! I totally remember you!


                  (David was Bridegroom of Blood's biggest groupie. He totally followed them around when they went on tour and was always trying to get back stage and offer them oral sex and whatnot. I sold meth to him a few times as well. He'd planned to use it to curry favor with the band, but I don't think he ever got into anybody's pants.)
                  WARNING:
                  In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                  REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                  Comment

                  • Jack_S.
                    Confirmed Enemy of God
                    BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                    • Sep 2012
                    • 47

                    #24
                    Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                    Originally posted by david barnhart View Post
                    please change my name back and no i am not a heavy metal perverte i am a born again christan and it really is a reference to my favorite verse well i thought i was on a real christan site i guess was wrong
                    Oi, scum, go and fix your spelling and stop assuming that you're a Christian*, you dumb@$$. You're making my Jesus looks bad.

                    Comment

                    • Faith_Machine
                      Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                      True Christian™
                      • Mar 2011
                      • 10050

                      #25
                      Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                      Originally posted by Jack_S. View Post
                      Oi, scum, go and fix your spelling and stop assuming that you're a Christian*, you dumb@$$. You're making my Jesus looks bad.
                      Jack, I will thank you to keep a civil tongue in your head when addressing your fellow unsaved trash. You're no better than David unless or until Jesus tells us otherwise.
                      WARNING:
                      In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                      REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                      Comment

                      • Dutch Girl
                        Unsaved trash - God mocking whore
                        • Nov 2010
                        • 283

                        #26
                        Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                        Originally posted by david barnhart View Post
                        i am a born again christan
                        Well, then you should fit in right away with all these "everything in the Bible is true" nuts here.

                        Did you really read the entire Bible and believe everything it says?

                        I cannot imagine someone reading 2nd Chronicles 15:13, John 15:6 or Revelation 21:8 and they saying "hey that's me, I am going to live like that".


                        Jesus loves you seriously bigtime. He’d hug you until your eyeballs exploded out of your skull if he ever met you. He’d windsurf across oceans of dead Nazis which he personally slaughtered just to tell you that your new haircut is the bee’s knees. Jesus is like the monster truck of love and you are an old Geo Metro which he will roar his massive engine over and crush your pathetic fiberglass frame into a crumpled heap. Praise Jesus, especially when it’s sunny outside because Jesus would totally be cool with you praising while you get a nice tan.

                        - Ecclesiastes xii.7

                        Comment

                        • Little Donkey
                          Forum Member
                          • Oct 2010
                          • 498

                          #27
                          Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                          Originally posted by Jack_S. View Post
                          Oi, scum, go and fix your spelling and stop assuming that you're a Christian*, you dumb@$$. You're making my Jesus looks bad.
                          Oy oy what do we haff here? A deep cover joo perhaps? Well you have given yourself away Mr. Jack S.

                          Comment

                          • david barnhart
                            Unsaved trash, heavy metal pervert
                            • Sep 2012
                            • 6

                            #28
                            Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                            oh I told him not to come to this site, I told him you all would tear him down with your comments and lies you make up about people and


                            if you are so down on people making mistakes then remove "you can not edit your post" or you just like insulting people and tell them they are going to hell and becasue of you my friend is broken and confused I hope you are happy you let another one go to Satan

                            and i suppose you are going to diss me and calle me a un-beliver while I am christan casue thats what you guys do best everyday with your lifes

                            Comment

                            • Zechariah Smyth
                              Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                              True Christian™
                              • Feb 2011
                              • 15251

                              #29
                              Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                              Originally posted by david barnhart View Post
                              oh I told him not to come to this site, I told him you all would tear him down with your comments and lies you make up about people and


                              if you are so down on people making mistakes then remove "you can not edit your post" or you just like insulting people and tell them they are going to hell and becasue of you my friend is broken and confused I hope you are happy you let another one go to Satan

                              and i suppose you are going to diss me and calle me a un-beliver while I am christan casue thats what you guys do best everyday with your lifes
                              If someone is a sinner, isn't it the best thing to tell them so? Otherwise, how will they even know? Since most people (like you) do not read the bible cover-to-cover but instead rely on "preachers" to filter it for you, or study groups to focus on certain areas, you simply don't even know what is in there.

                              If someone was on fire would you tell them they are covered in fig preserves?



                              YiC,

                              Zech
                              sigpic

                              Comment

                              • Rev. M. Rodimer
                                Honorary True Christian™
                                Forum Member
                                • May 2008
                                • 13996

                                #30
                                Re: Hello please to meet the Real christans

                                Originally posted by david barnhart View Post
                                oh I told him not to come to this site, I told him you all would tear him down with your comments and lies you make up about people and


                                if you are so down on people making mistakes then remove "you can not edit your post" or you just like insulting people and tell them they are going to hell and becasue of you my friend is broken and confused I hope you are happy you let another one go to Satan

                                and i suppose you are going to diss me and calle me a un-beliver while I am christan casue thats what you guys do best everyday with your lifes
                                You can't be bothered to spell "Christian" correctly, or capitalize it, and you expect us to believe you follow our Lord?

                                If you don't want mistakes in your posts, try proofreading them before you hit "submit". Or use the "Preview Post" button and proofread them then.

                                It ain't rocket science, David.

                                Now, why don't you tell us how you live for Jesus every day? What do you do to share His Love?
                                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                                Comment

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