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  • Hezekia Buttermaker
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Sep 2012
    • 3
    #1

    Praise the Lord!

    My name is Hezekiah Buttermaker and this is my first post.

    My favorite verse of the Bible is John 8:44-45 because it teaches us that Satan is a Jew and all Jews are his spawn.

    I am a dairy farmer in Wisconsin. I had a wife but she is up in heaven now with Our Savior Lord Jesus Christ after being called up to Him after giving birth to our son.

    I was saved when I was in high school after making a trip to Chicago and seeing just how filthy the sodomites, race mixers and Zionists live. My son and I attend the First Baptist Church. It's a small church with a big heart and powerful love for Jesus.

    Here in Wisconsin, we are surrounded by sodomites, whore-mongers and fornicators. I think it's the organic farming, which has been proven to make one queer.

    My son makes me proud by asking me, "Daddy, when do I get to shoot a queer or a Jew?" In a few weeks he will turn 6 and I plan to buy him another AR-15. And I'm going to teach him that some Jews can be saved from their wicked ways, but not many.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78555
      #2
      Re: Praise the Lord!

      Welcome to God's favorite forum, where we follow the ENTIRE Holy Bible, including the bits about obeying secular laws.

      If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

      If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

      You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

      Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Faith_Machine
          Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2011
          • 10050
          #3
          Re: Praise the Lord!

          A hearty hello to you, Hezekia! We always encourage folks to follow local laws as much as possible, so you probably shouldn't shoot any Jews unless they're breaking into your home.

          (And let's face it, how often are you going to find a Jew with the balls to do something like that?)


          Now then, regarding this Wisconsin business, I'm right pleased that you all have retained Governor Scott Walker and told those labor unions to shove it, but I must confess I'm a might worried about the poll data, which indicates Obama might snag Wisconsin's electoral votes.

          Why don't you take your son and that AR-15 and put them to good use guarding your neighborhood's polling place against vote fraud?
          WARNING:
          In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
          REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

            Comment

            • Mary Etheldreda
              Gushing for Jesus
               
              • Sep 2011
              • 23775
              #4
              Re: Praise the Lord!

              Oh you must be so proud to be from the homestate of the future President of the United States!

              Ryan 2016!


              Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                Comment

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