Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

[Son of John]

I am Son of John, as you have seen from my user-name, an all-white, American male living in the state of Arizona. After having give it a great deal of thought, I have chosen to reject my previously agnostic way of life and give the True Christian one a try. My reading on the Bible is currently in its infancy, but I am dedicated to reading it all and understanding and embracing it. Due to my previous lifestyle choice, I may have some questions regarding certain passages. I sincerely hope that my questioning does not prove to be annoying or damaging to the overall quality of the site.

Out of all of the Bible passages I have read so far - just an aside; yes, I have been using the King James version authorized by Landover - my favorite would have to be Revelation 14:7. "Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters." It's a really, really powerful passage that sums up what being a good Christian is all about.

I pray you will come to accept me into your community, and know me as your Brother. Glory be unto the Lord.

YIC

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Hello Son of John!

How many sons has your wife grunted out for Jesus? What kind of hunting do you do in Arizona?

We want to get to know you!



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Welcome to God's favorite forum. You're not an injun are you? I know they often call themselves weird names like that.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Son of John]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Oh, I would not dream of speaking illy towards my betters, my good sir. If I want to learn from you, rudeness would be the last thing I'd want to convey.

As to the name "Son of John", it simply refers to the fact that my father is named John. I thought the name sounded good.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Oh, I would not dream of speaking illy towards my betters, my good sir. If I want to learn from you, rudeness would be the last thing I'd want to convey.

As to the name "Son of John", it simply refers to the fact that my father is named John. I thought the name sounded good.

So then what is your name?

And what about your Church? Who is your Pastor? Most folks like to brag on their Pastor a bit.

[Son of John]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

My proper name is William.

Alas, I must say that I have never had the benefit in living in an area so holy as to have had a proper Christian church in the vicinity. Unfortunately, I am tied to my current area, and have no good way of moving myself to a better place.

Know, though, that I intend to do so as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

My proper name is William.

Alas, I must say that I have never had the benefit in living in an area so holy as to have had a proper Christian church in the vicinity. Unfortunately, I am tied to my current area, and have no good way of moving myself to a better place.

Know, though, that I intend to do so as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

There are plenty of Independent Baptist Churches in Arizona.

And how do you keep from the sin of robbing Jesus then, with no church to tithe to?

[Son of John]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Ah, but even if I had lived near one of those areas, my good sir - which, unfortunately, I did not - you must also remember that I am a recent convert to this way of life, and a green one at that. My past self, even if given the opportunity to live near one of these churches, would not have attended them.

My current self, by contrast, could, but unfortunately does not live near...

Wait, there's one a few blocks away.

Well, then. Pastor Randy Miller has just gained a new member.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

How did you discover Jesus without a Church?

It doesn't just happen magically.

[Son of John]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

I've actually been reading this forum for quite some time. At first, I did it because I found your content humorous, but as time wore on, I began to look at your arguments a bit closer, and saw that there was much, much more truth to them than there was to any of the other heathen's arguments.

So I went out, got myself a King James Bible, started studying it, and signed up for this forum, as a way of having a community with which to consult while I work to make myself acceptable in the eyes of the Lord.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

I've actually been reading this forum for quite some time. At first, I did it because I found your content humorous, but as time wore on, I began to look at your arguments a bit closer, and saw that there was much, much more truth to them than there was to any of the other heathen's arguments.

So I went out, got myself a King James Bible, started studying it, and signed up for this forum, as a way of having a community with which to consult while I work to make myself acceptable in the eyes of the Lord.

Oh, our jokes threads are so ticklish, aren't they!!! Sister Daisy Mae is just about the funniest lady this side of the Ubangi River!

But other than that, I don't think there's much humor. Ours is a very serious mission here - to share the Good News to people like you who have no idea how much there is to know about the LORD and His divine Will.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Praise the Lord and welcome. I'm glad you now recognize the truth in God's Holy Word. I look forward to ministry with you.

[Son of John]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

But other than that, I don't think there's much humor. Ours is a very serious mission here - to share the Good News to people like you who have no idea how much there is to know about the LORD and His divine Will.

Oh, I see that now, but you would not believe my old self. He actually thought your mission was humorous.

But he's gone now, and today there is only the man you see before you, ready and willing to accept the teachings of the Lord.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Oh, I see that now, but you would not believe my old self. He actually thought your mission was humorous.

But he's gone now, and today there is only the man you see before you, ready and willing to accept the teachings of the Lord.

I would start with reading the Bible. A little proficiency in the Word helps. It's a long hard road, but so worth it in the end.

[Son of John]

Re: Greetings, my new Brothers and Sisters!

Indeed, my good sir, indeed.