X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • Brother Mark Loman
    Forum Member
    Forum Member
    • Oct 2012
    • 49
    #16
    Re: Fellowship

    I prayed real hard for God to allow me to rejoice about this with you. I decided to read Psalms for comfort and I was horrified when I read Psalms 37:13. That did not help! Ugh..Then to top it off Pastor Ezekiels verse fits perfectly with the verse God pointed out. How odd, it's like God is siding in the rejoicing with you guys. I don't deny for one second that only you guys have the real truth here, but I guess first I need to pray that God will help me see the beauty in all of this. Why isn't God comforting me right now? I think I need to go read more of the bible...

      Comment

      • Mary Etheldreda
        Gushing for Jesus
         
        • Sep 2011
        • 23775
        #17
        Re: Fellowship

        Originally posted by Brother Mark Loman View Post
        I prayed real hard for God to allow me to rejoice about this with you. I decided to read Psalms for comfort and I was horrified when I read Psalms 37:13. That did not help! Ugh..Then to top it off Pastor Ezekiels verse fits perfectly with the verse God pointed out. How odd, it's like God is siding in the rejoicing with you guys. I don't deny for one second that only you guys have the real truth here, but I guess first I need to pray that God will help me see the beauty in all of this. Why isn't God comforting me right now? I think I need to go read more of the bible...
        Goodness but you're a whiny one. Do you think God cares if you feel comforted? Where in the Holy Bible do you find the idea that God wants you to feel comfortable?

        No, dear, you're supposed to feel fear, and that compels you to obedience. To this end you were created. This is your only duty. (Ecclesiastes 12:13) Stop throwing your little temper tantrum and repent. Get right with Jesus or He'll be laughing at you as we will!
        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

          Comment

          • Brother Mark Loman
            Forum Member
            Forum Member
            • Oct 2012
            • 49
            #18
            Re: Fellowship

            Is there a loophole on the whole vasectomy issue? Surely I can't be damned for eternity, this means my nephews daddy is gonna burn too since he smashed his stones while jumping a motorcycle. So the second the bike landed and cased the suspension sealed his fate? Wow-unbelievable. The appeal of this just keeps getting better Yet, I will submit and be a joyous and faithful steward despite the fact my whole family and I are gonna burn in hell since our God is an awesome God, who is Just and Good.

              Comment

              • Mary Etheldreda
                Gushing for Jesus
                 
                • Sep 2011
                • 23775
                #19
                Re: Fellowship

                Atta boy!

                Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                  Comment

                  • Brother Mark Loman
                    Forum Member
                    Forum Member
                    • Oct 2012
                    • 49
                    #20
                    Re: Fellowship

                    I feel like God is telling me if I get a reversal on the vasectomy then I can be saved! Although since i'm divorced I can't remarry, the doctor will think i'm nuts when he hears I don't plan on having kids. Besides, it could be Gods will I get raped and thus bring forth another soul(that could burn forever-oh dear). I am going to use this as a witnessing tool to my doctor. Praise Jesus for his sweet mercy-he sure works in mysterious ways.Amen and Hallelujah

                      Comment

                      • Little Donkey
                        Forum Member
                        • Oct 2010
                        • 498
                        #21
                        Re: Fellowship

                        Originally posted by Brother Mark Loman View Post
                        I feel like God is telling me if I get a reversal on the vasectomy then I can be saved! Although since i'm divorced I can't remarry, the doctor will think i'm nuts when he hears I don't plan on having kids. Besides, it could be Gods will I get raped and thus bring forth another soul(that could burn forever-oh dear). I am going to use this as a witnessing tool to my doctor. Praise Jesus for his sweet mercy-he sure works in mysterious ways.Amen and Hallelujah
                        Take a print out of this thread to the doctor to show him why you need that vasectomy reversal. Don't leave until he does it. Bring a sharp knife in case he hasn't got of his own. If he won't do it, do it yourself - it can't be that hard, probably no more so than tying your shoelaces.

                          Comment

                          • Mary Etheldreda
                            Gushing for Jesus
                             
                            • Sep 2011
                            • 23775
                            #22
                            Re: Fellowship

                            You might try placing your faith in the LORD before doctors.

                            Spend the time looking for a True Christian Church™ and ask for them to pray over you. You can even bring your own oil as a sentiment of good will. Any oil will work, although I would be more inclined to bring salad oil rather than motor oil only because the clean-up is easier.

                            Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
                            And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
                            James 5:14-15
                            Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

                              Comment

                              • Brother Mark Loman
                                Forum Member
                                Forum Member
                                • Oct 2012
                                • 49
                                #23
                                Re: Fellowship

                                I've decided to stuff my sorries in a sack and put my faith in God to restore my jewels rather than a worldly doctor. The money I save will be donated to my future True Christian church, hopefully they buy protective cups for the men to protect their souls from damnation. In fact, thats what i'm buying my 3 nephews for christmas, i'll stuff it in their stockings and then explain to them how they need to be careful so they don't end up like their dad who will burn in hell ever since he crash landed on his dirt bike. I'm am putting this in Gods hands to restore me and look forward to fellow True Christians dousing me with oil and laying their hands on me.

                                  Comment

                                  Previous 1 2 template Next
                                  Working...