Originally posted by Ford Prefect
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G'day,
Firstly, contrary to the rest of Australian blokes, my name isn't Bruce. Pretty bloody shocking, ain't it?
Without pullin' the piss, I'm hear to try and get saved, hey.
I know there's a lot of things going against me, being Australian for starters. But in my defence, I'm from South Australia, which is the only state that was never a penal colony. Or penile.
And Adelaide, the capital, is known as "the City of Churches" because it has so many fascinating old churches. All of the wrong denominations, of course. Stupid bastards.
So I've surely got that going for me, right mate?
On the downside, SA was also the first place in the world to give Shielas full voting rights and right to serve in parliament. So a bit of a strike against me there.
It was also the first place to decrimanlise poofters, so no wonder God hates us like it says in the forum.
I really want to join the Landover Baptist Church, for they are the only blokes ballsy enough to preach God's True Message, not this watered-down liberal crap.
I don't attend a church here, because they're all heretics and heathens!
It's hard to pick my favourite Bible Verse. I love all of Judges 3, because it's shows God's mercy in delivering Israel when they angered him so many times.
But the best of it would probably be from verse 22:
Because, let's face it, it's great to see when God calls on someone to kick arse in his Holy Name. (Of course, Shamgar delivering 600 Philistines to their Damnation in Hell is also truly kick arse. God is truly Wise, Just and Merciful.)
I will need a mentor from your church to assist me in gaining my salvation, however. Like all Australians, I do pull the puddin' too much and I don't know how to stop.
*** unnecessarily explicit seed-spilling episode deleted ***
YIC,
Bruce Ford
Firstly, contrary to the rest of Australian blokes, my name isn't Bruce. Pretty bloody shocking, ain't it?
Without pullin' the piss, I'm hear to try and get saved, hey.
I know there's a lot of things going against me, being Australian for starters. But in my defence, I'm from South Australia, which is the only state that was never a penal colony. Or penile.
And Adelaide, the capital, is known as "the City of Churches" because it has so many fascinating old churches. All of the wrong denominations, of course. Stupid bastards.
So I've surely got that going for me, right mate?
On the downside, SA was also the first place in the world to give Shielas full voting rights and right to serve in parliament. So a bit of a strike against me there.
It was also the first place to decrimanlise poofters, so no wonder God hates us like it says in the forum.
I really want to join the Landover Baptist Church, for they are the only blokes ballsy enough to preach God's True Message, not this watered-down liberal crap.
I don't attend a church here, because they're all heretics and heathens!
It's hard to pick my favourite Bible Verse. I love all of Judges 3, because it's shows God's mercy in delivering Israel when they angered him so many times.
But the best of it would probably be from verse 22:
Because, let's face it, it's great to see when God calls on someone to kick arse in his Holy Name. (Of course, Shamgar delivering 600 Philistines to their Damnation in Hell is also truly kick arse. God is truly Wise, Just and Merciful.)
I will need a mentor from your church to assist me in gaining my salvation, however. Like all Australians, I do pull the puddin' too much and I don't know how to stop.
*** unnecessarily explicit seed-spilling episode deleted ***
YIC,
My Austrian has lapsed since our Mission to Australia a few years back.
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