[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: G'day cobbers

And yet you pretend to be the Australian version of a character from a book. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, as I recall.

Wait, is this the book written by Douglas Adams who took great pleasure in mocking God so brazenly?

"In the years I'd spent learning History, Physics, Latin, Math, I'd learnt (the hard way) something about standards of argument, standards of proof, standards of logic, etc. In fact we had just been learning how to spot the different types of logical fallacy, and it suddenly became apparent to me that these standards simply didn't seem to apply in religious matters [...] Why not? Because they wouldn't stand up to it."

"God used to be the best explanation we'd got, and we've now got vastly better ones. God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining."

link

Certainly his name has been blotted out of the Book of Life (Revelation 20:15) and he shall suffer terribly when the LORD wakes him from his restful slumber (Ecclesiastes 9:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17) and find him guilty of sin without the loophole of Jesus' Grace to save him (John 3:18).

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

I'm not sure I want to know what a "cobber" is. It sounds an awful lot like "knob gobbler".

Wait a sec! Your badges say you did a mission to Oz!

You'd know what a cobber was then! You're having a lend, aren't you?

You're a right old laugh. Good onya.

Cheers,

Ford

[James Hutchins]

Re: G'day cobbers

Friend, No decent person save a few inner city animals know what you are saying. God does not speak spear chuck nor does He speak abo.
We all know exactly what 'cobber' means and trust me, not 100% heterosexual True Christian™ has any desire what so ever to have you spread their anus wide so you can jam a dingo in their rectum.

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

G'day Mary, you look like a top shiela there!

Wait, is this the book written by Douglas Adams who took great pleasure in mocking God so brazenly?

Never heard of him, but looking at that link you gave, he sounds like a bit of a goose.

Probably one of those hippy commo poofters, being an atheist and all. Bit of an ugly mug too, I reckon.

But you give me the word, and I'll give him a boot up the bum for you.

(That's not some queer homo thing, it's literally a kick up the bum.)


Cheers darling,

Ford

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: G'day cobbers

But you give me the word, and I'll give him a boot up the bum for you.

Anal foot-rape on demand?! Know you Aussies no shame?

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

Friend, No decent person save a few inner city animals know what you are saying. God does not speak spear chuck nor does He speak abo.
We all know exactly what 'cobber' means and trust me, not 100% heterosexual True Christian™ has any desire what so ever to have you spread their anus wide so you can jam a dingo in their rectum.

Sorry James, what does "spear chuck" mean? I haven't heard that one before.

And it's not abo, it's true blue. We all know that God doesn't want anything to do with no boongs.


But no, 'cobber' has got nothing to do with dingoes, mate. Check with that kiwi bloke that's one of your members after he gets back from chasing the sheep. He'll sort you out.

Cheers,

Ford

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

Anal foot-rape on demand?! Know you Aussies no shame?

LOL, It's a kick up the backside.

Gee, you seppos are as mad as a cut snake.

This sunday after church, it's my shout, right?

Cheers,

Ford

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

I forgot to ask, how can I be a better bloke for Jesus?

I want to stay on His good side, not like the rest of the scum where I'm from.

Praise to the Lord!


Cheers,

Ford

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: G'day cobbers

I forgot to ask, how can I be a better bloke for Jesus?

I want to stay on His good side, not like the rest of the scum where I'm from.

Praise to the Lord!


Cheers,

Ford

Read the Bible.

ALL OF IT.

Start at Genesis 1:1 and end at Revelation 22:21 and don't skip any parts, not even where Jesus sends two bears to kill 42 children.

Come back when you're done.

YiC,

Zech

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

Start at Genesis 1:1 and end at Revelation 22:21 and don't skip any parts, not even where Jesus sends two bears to kill 42 children.

Ooh, I loved that one!

Stupid heathens dumbed it down in the bastardised versions of the Bible though.

I also loved where they slew the Ephraimites at the passage of Jordan. Truly a testament to God's greatness. Much better than a stupid Hollywood attempt at recreating the action that only God can give.

Speaking of which, are there copies of the KJB available in audiobook format? It'd be great to just whack a disc into that thingo in the Ute when I'm going bush.

Jesus be with you

Ford

[John North]

Re: G'day cobbers

Speaking of which, are there copies of the KJB available in audiobook format?

It took me 3 seconds to Google that; you can probably do it yourself in less than a minute (I leave it as an exercise). However, I think you’re better of reading it.

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

It took me 3 seconds to Google that; you can probably do it yourself in less than a minute (I leave it as an exercise). However, I think you’re better of reading it.

But is it approved?

I want the literal word of God, not some liberal hippy love-fest.

And what is this "Google" that you speak? It sounds dodgy.

Cheers,

Ford

[John North]

Re: G'day cobbers

But is it approved?

I want the literal word of God, not some liberal hippy love-fest.

And what is this "Google" that you speak? It sounds dodgy.

Cheers,

Ford

Just go for the the Book. And forget this Google thing as well. I think it might do you more harm than good.

[Ford Prefect]

Re: G'day cobbers

Just go for the the Book. And forget this Google thing as well. I think it might do you more harm than good.

Will do.

Do you know if God is working on any new works? Perhaps a prequel or a sequel?

It's rare that such a gifted author would stop with just the two volumes. Especially when his work to date has been such a rip snorter!

At least God wouldn't ruin the franchise with something like JarJar Binks, either, like some lesser wankers. That Lucas guy is 5 tinnies short of a six-pack.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: G'day cobbers

Will do.

Do you know if God is working on any new works? Perhaps a prequel or a sequel?

It's rare that such a gifted author would stop with just the two volumes. Especially when his work to date has been such a rip snorter!

At least God wouldn't ruin the franchise with something like JarJar Binks, either, like some lesser wankers. That Lucas guy is 5 tinnies short of a six-pack.

The mooselimbs and the magic-undie-wearing LSD cultists say yes, but God says no:

Galatians 1:8-9: But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed. As we said before, so say I now again, If any [man] preach any other gospel unto you than that ye have received, let him be accursed.