[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Re: What's up?

Actually I'm a chemistry major.

1Tm:6:20: O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called:

God Commands us to ignore your opinions - so you'd better listen to our exposure of the Word of God, that you might be Saved(tm)

[drecky]

Re: What's up?

Welcome friend, I assume you are taking home Ec. classes at the University of Georgia. Have you been able to catch the eye of any males?
When did you first discover Jersus had come inside you?

Actually I'm a chemistry major. Home ec. is useless. I don't need to take a college course to learn how to fold clothes. And no. I don't intend to "catch the eyes of males". Thanks for your concern.

[drecky]

Re: What's up?

EWWW! Oh my GOD! You're a retard? Did I get any on me??

Apparently you did, sir. I had no idea retardation was contagious...thanks for proving me wrong.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What's up?

Nope.

There are ways to make a love donation to Jesus Christ Himself which is placed directly in his jewel encrusted ostrich skin wallet with your name attached to it. What ever you can afford (US money only please), $500 right up to a million. Christ does not count the amount, He counts your sincerity and love in giving.

Please let me know if you need directions in going this route.

YIC

Deaner

Amen, Brother. Have the boy get his mommy's credit cards and contact our team of joo accountants. Baby Jesus needs a new pair of shoes.

[James Hutchins]

Re: What's up?

Nope.

There are ways to make a love donation to Jesus Christ Himself which is placed directly in his jewel encrusted ostrich skin wallet with your name attached to it. What ever you can afford (US money only please), $500 right up to a million. Christ does not count the amount, He counts your sincerity and love in giving.

Please let me know if you need directions in going this route.

YIC

Deaner

Quite right Brother Deaner!
God only looks at the percentage of total net worth of your meager token of appreciation for not being smote yet.
The more your gift to Him affects your life, the more pleased God becomes. You do want Him to be happy, don't you?

[Deaner]

Re: What's up?

Do you guys believe that I may go to heaven when I die?

Nope.

There are ways to make a love donation to Jesus Christ Himself which is placed directly in his jewel encrusted ostrich skin wallet with your name attached to it. What ever you can afford (US money only please), $500 right up to a million. Christ does not count the amount, He counts your sincerity and love in giving.

Please let me know if you need directions in going this route.

YIC

Deaner

[Faith_Machine]

Re: What's up?

Now that we've earned your trust, don't you think it's time you told us what church you attend?

[ExGay Alex]

Re: What's up?

From what I've read on these forums, you guys seem to be VERY opinionated, and there's nothing wrong with that. But it's a little scary. I don't want to be lashed out at for disagreeing with something.

Please don't suggest we are disagreeable. Quite the contrary!! We all agree with each other, and if you are a True Christian, who reads, understands, and lives by the teachings of the Bible, we will agree with you, too.

You will not find any other Christian forum with this kind of consistency, where everybody, in fact, agrees with everybody else. Except with the Hell-bound sinners, obviously.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What's up?

God cursed you with a tumor, you must have done something.

Amen, Brother! When really bad things happen (like you get eaten by wild beasts, get killed in war, get sick and die, get born a cripple, etc.), then you'll know that it was God that did it to you. Shout GLORY!

Ezekiel 14:13 Son of man, when the land sinneth against me by trespassing grievously, then will I stretch out mine hand upon it, and will break the staff of the bread thereof, and will send famine upon it, and will cut off man and beast from it:

14:15 If I cause noisome beasts to pass through the land, and they spoil it, so that it be desolate, that no man may pass through because of the beasts:

14:17 Or if I bring a sword upon that land, and say, Sword, go through the land; so that I cut off man and beast from it:

14:19 Or if I send a pestilence into that land, and pour out my fury upon it in blood, to cut off from it man and beast:

14:21 For thus saith the Lord GOD; How much more when I send my four sore judgments upon Jerusalem, the sword, and the famine, and the noisome beast, and the pestilence, to cut off from it man and beast?

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: What's up?

Oh, well, I do tend to get angry sometimes, but doesn't Christ grant forgiveness when we pray and repent? The most I do is get angry and blow up at people, but I always ask for forgiveness. And when I pray, I have a feeling of peace come over me. I assume the feeling comes from Christ. Where else would it come from?

Do you guys believe that I may go to heaven when I die?

At first, you wondered if we were going to kill you. Are you a sodomite? A murderer? A witch or blasphemer? A picker-up of sticks on the Sabbath? Did you not produce evidences of your virginity on the wedding night? If not, then we have no command from God to kill you (yet).

On the other hand, if God cursed you with a tumor, you must have done something. We can't know what that was or is, but rather than bellyaching about whether God (according to us) accepts you, why not be sure yourself that He will accept you by following the Bible to the letter?

(See 2 Timothy 2:15)

Pastor Ed

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: What's up?

I have a brain tumour and it comprimises my ability to get words out the way I intend them.

EWWW! Oh my GOD! You're a retard? Did I get any on me??

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What's up?

A lot of false churches encourage activities that would produce inappropriate hormones and cause neurotransmitters to be released which would give you all sorts of "feelings" - but the Religion Is Feeling school of thought is anti-scriptural and has gained no ground here at Landover. I know this is not the case in Sweden..

Welcome to the forum. Perhaps one of the Pastors could advise whether the sin of one of your great-great-great-great-great-great-grandparents could be responsible for your tumor? God is perfect and never smites the innocent undeservedly.

Or you might need look further back?

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: What's up?

Oh, well, I do tend to get angry sometimes, but doesn't Christ grant forgiveness when we pray and repent? The most I do is get angry and blow up at people, but I always ask for forgiveness. And when I pray, I have a feeling of peace come over me. I assume the feeling comes from Christ. Where else would it come from?

Satan, or your own imagination.

What makes you think Jesus will forgive you when you continue to sin?

Hebrews 10:26-27

26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,
27 But a certain fearful looking for of judgment and fiery indignation, which shall devour the adversaries.

If you continue to sin after being Saved, you have damned yourself.

[James Hutchins]

Re: What's up?

Welcome friend, I assume you are taking home Ec. classes at the University of Georgia. Have you been able to catch the eye of any males?
When did you first discover Jersus had come inside you?

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: What's up?

I pray for it every day, and I do believe that he is capable of removing the tumour, but if it's not in his will or for the greater good, I have no problems with leaving this earth to be with Him.

I'm confused. If you pray for healing, why does He not grant it? (Luke 11:9)