[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello, everyone!

?!?!!!!!?! Unreal! You are not serious! Are you?

Irinka, witchcraft is very real. Just look in the Bible!

Exodus 7:10-12

10 And Moses and Aaron went in unto Pharaoh, and they did so as the Lord had commanded: and Aaron cast down his rod before Pharaoh, and before his servants, and it became a serpent.

11 Then Pharaoh also called the wise men and the sorcerers: now the magicians of Egypt, they also did in like manner with their enchantments.

12 For they cast down every man his rod, and they became serpents: but Aaron's rod swallowed up their rods.

Or did you mean about not wanting anybody to tell Widow Helen what I said about her pie? That's serious, too!

You can imagine, Irinka, that right about now I'd be tempted to crack open one of these books to help Deaner. But I will not; instead, I will join with my fellow Prayer Warriors in asking the Lord to relieve Deaner of this delirium tremens-like curse!

[Deaner]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Deaner, I am very concerned about your suicidal statement. Please get on your Web cam so we can have a one-on-one prayer session ASAP!

I... am fine Brothers Faith, Rodimer, Carl and Matthew. And of course, Sister Irinka.

The only thing is; I feel bugs. Invisible bugs crawling all over me and thru out the room. They bite me and leave slime on my skin.

I need to sleep. Oh please God... let me sleeeeepp.

[Irinka the repentant jewess]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Deaner, I am very concerned about your suicidal statement. Please get on your Web cam so we can have a one-on-one prayer session ASAP!

Yes, Faith Machine, great idea. I hope Brother Deaner is feeling better soon.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Deaner, I am very concerned about your suicidal statement. Please get on your Web cam so we can have a one-on-one prayer session ASAP!

[Irinka the repentant jewess]

Re: Hello, everyone!

It's best to be ignorant of such things, Irinka. That way, you are not tempted to put into use all the witchcraft knowledge you have acquired.

Both I and several of Landover's Pastors have vast libraries of occult materials, including ancient spellbooks from the Salem Witch Trials. It can be tempting to put some of those spells to use during difficult times, and it is only through great effort and faith in the Lord that I refrain.

My former housekeeper, Rosa, was not so fortunate. You see, the pronunciation of the incantations is just as important as the purity of ingredients in a potion; one wrong syllable can render the spell useless, or change the outcome in horrible ways.

Rosa was a heavyset Mexican woman. She longed to make herself into an elegant French lady.

I arrived moments too late. I walked into my library, home early from church because of a terrible storm coming into the area (we sent people home early). I saw, to my horror, one of the large books open on the table, and Rosa drinking from a beaker. Dumbfounded, I watched in shock as she read aloud an incantation, the words mutilated by her Mexican accent.

Then a cloud of smoke and a deafening roar enveloped her!

When the smoke cleared, the broken beaker lay on the floor, and my dear Rosa was nowhere to be seen. Instead, croaking amongst her clothes on the floor, I found a frog.

I'm sorry, telling that story always gets me a bit emotional. She was as good a housekeeper as Widow Helen, and made a far tastier cherry pie! (Don't tell Widow Helen I said that.)

?!?!!!!!?! Unreal! You are not serious! Are you?

[Matthew Hopkins]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Please Brothers, no more hate!! I am doubled over in pain and do NOT wish to see the yids suffer any longer! I BEG YOU!!!

I am so sorry, please forgive me Brother. If the cause is Haitian Jewish voodoo, I will do everything in my power to exterminate the cause.

YBIC

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello, everyone!

No, Reverend, I do not. I am embarrassed about this, but I have. Een quite sheltered most of my life and some things (pagan, Wicca, witches, for instance) are very foggy in my mind. I guess the meanings of these words by context and look them up in a dictionary or google them as I go along... Sorry for my ignorance.

It's best to be ignorant of such things, Irinka. That way, you are not tempted to put into use all the witchcraft knowledge you have acquired.

Both I and several of Landover's Pastors have vast libraries of occult materials, including ancient spellbooks from the Salem Witch Trials. It can be tempting to put some of those spells to use during difficult times, and it is only through great effort and faith in the Lord that I refrain.

My former housekeeper, Rosa, was not so fortunate. You see, the pronunciation of the incantations is just as important as the purity of ingredients in a potion; one wrong syllable can render the spell useless, or change the outcome in horrible ways.

Rosa was a heavyset Mexican woman. She longed to make herself into an elegant French lady.

I arrived moments too late. I walked into my library, home early from church because of a terrible storm coming into the area (we sent people home early). I saw, to my horror, one of the large books open on the table, and Rosa drinking from a beaker. Dumbfounded, I watched in shock as she read aloud an incantation, the words mutilated by her Mexican accent.

Then a cloud of smoke and a deafening roar enveloped her!

When the smoke cleared, the broken beaker lay on the floor, and my dear Rosa was nowhere to be seen. Instead, croaking amongst her clothes on the floor, I found a frog.

I'm sorry, telling that story always gets me a bit emotional. She was as good a housekeeper as Widow Helen, and made a far tastier cherry pie! (Don't tell Widow Helen I said that.)

[Irinka the repentant jewess]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Why would Deaner be doubled over in pain, unless a witch had cast a spell on him?

I don't mean you, Irinka. You're a very nice young lady, and I'd not expect you to be dabbling in the black arts.

You don't, do you?

No, Reverend, I do not. I am embarrassed about this, but I have. Een quite sheltered most of my life and some things (pagan, Wicca, witches, for instance) are very foggy in my mind. I guess the meanings of these words by context and look them up in a dictionary or google them as I go along... Sorry for my ignorance.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Reverend, if I may ask, what do you mean by these words? I understand that you addressed them to Brother Deaner, yet it would be nice to be able to follow the thread of this conversation!

Why would Deaner be doubled over in pain, unless a witch had cast a spell on him?

I don't mean you, Irinka. You're a very nice young lady, and I'd not expect you to be dabbling in the black arts.

You don't, do you?

[Irinka the repentant jewess]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Brother Deaner, is it possible one of the pagan/Wiccan witches has made a voodoo doll, and jammed a red-hot poker up its . . . orifice?

Reverend, if I may ask, what do you mean by these words? I understand that you addressed them to Brother Deaner, yet it would be nice to be able to follow the thread of this conversation!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Please Brothers, no more hate!! I am doubled over in pain and do NOT wish to see the yids suffer any longer! I BEG YOU!!!

Brother Deaner, is it possible one of the pagan/Wiccan witches has made a voodoo doll, and jammed a red-hot poker up its . . . orifice?

[Irinka the repentant jewess]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Please Brothers, no more hate!! I am doubled over in pain and do NOT wish to see the yids suffer any longer! I BEG YOU!!!

Brother Deaner, I did no realize that all of this would cause you so much discomfort. I am praying that you may recover soon and yes, of course, in case anyone's in doubt I do forgive you (actually I was not at any point upset or offended, so there was not really a reason to forgive). Let us move on, brother Deaner, and spend our time and energy praising Jesus together.

[Deaner]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Please Brothers, no more hate!! I am doubled over in pain and do NOT wish to see the yids suffer any longer! I BEG YOU!!!

[Matthew Hopkins]

Re: Hello, everyone!

I could not agree more, brother Matthew! Loving one's enemies is one of the essential pillars of the Christian faith. I do not consider brother Deaner to be my enemy, though. It would be a shame to have enemies among fellow believers.

Do you, recovering Jewess, personally forgive Brother Deaner, my beloved Brother in Christ?

YBIC

[James Hutchins]

Re: Hello, everyone!

Brother Deaner, you are a precious child of God, and He loves you and has forgiven you. Who am I to not forgive? If God sees you as righteous because of Jesus' sacrifice, who am I and what right do I have to hold anything against you? My heart is contented and at peace as long as I abide with Him. May Jesus comfort you and may you find peace in His presence.

Irinka, even thought you are just a woman and doubly cursed as a joo too, you are not a completely bad person.
You need to keep in mind how you people are constantly whining about being a persecuted people. You need to realize, of all the people in the world that should not of been persecuted, you people did. Think about Jesus, on the cross for days, nailed and bleeding while you people threw stones at Him, laughs at His expense.
Instead of being such cheap bastards, you owe Jesus (and in kind, every True Christian(tm)). For the life of me, I do not know why God did not smote all of you.