[Dr Laurence Niles]

Re: You sad, sad heathens

The FSM loves me for who I am and that is all that matters to me.

May you be touched by His noodley appendage.

You know, deep down that the Fiendish Spaghetti Monster is made up to lampoon decent, honest Christians.

Would you walk into a church on Sunday and start shouting the odds? No. Of course not.

But safe behind your semen stained key pad monitor screen you think you can trample over the cherished beliefs of us decent True Christians(tm)?

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
Matthew 24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.
Luke 21:17 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
Romans 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

Go to Hell, people like you make me sick I hope you meet Jesus one day but you won't.

YIC

[VictoryOS]

Re: You sad, sad heathens

Didn't this spaghetti joke run its course about a decade ago?

Time for you God-mockers to find new material.

[Pasta Pete]

Re: You sad, sad heathens

This is a very powerful prayer against Witchcraft. This prayer can shut down witches and satanists forever. Being that this prayer basically shuts down the senders of the hexes and vexes by returning their evil to them sevenfold. I now hurl it at you in Christ's name!

Father,
In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, I plead the precious uncorruptable blood of Jesus over myself and my church and everything that belongs to us. I ask for giant warrior Angels to be loosed from Heaven to surround and protect us. As your war club and weapons of war I break down, undamn, and blow up all walls of protection around all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, and the like, and I break the power of all curses, hexes, vexes, spells, charms, fetishes, physic prayers, physic thought, all witchcraft, sorcery, magic, voodoo, all mind control, jinxes, potions, bewitchments, death, destruction, sickness, pain, torment, physic power, physic warfare, prayer chains, and everything else being sent my way or my family members way, and I return it and the demons to the senders right now!, SEVENFOLD, and I BIND it to them by the Blood of Jesus!

Father, I pray that these lost souls will find the light of your son Jesus.. Their own snares and traps have been set against themselves.. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth I now loose them from all mindcontrol of satan!.. Father I also ask that you Bind the Holy Spirit to there hearts as a guide to your son Jesus.. So they may be set free from the bondages of satan.

In Jesus name I pray..
Amen

I assure you that this isn't witchcraft. Your prayer might have been wasted.

You know, deep down that the Fiendish Spaghetti Monster is made up to lampoon decent, honest Christians.

Would you walk into a church on Sunday and start shouting the odds? No. Of course not.

But safe behind your semen stained key pad monitor screen you think you can trample over the cherished beliefs of us decent True Christians™?

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Matthew 5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
Matthew 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
Matthew 10:22 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.
Matthew 24:9 Then shall they deliver you up to be afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my name's sake.
Luke 21:17 And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake.
Romans 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.

Go to Hell, people like you make me sick I hope you meet Jesus one day but you won't.

YIC

Hell has stale beer and strippers with STDs. Why would I want to go there? The FSM has a spot for me in heaven with stripper factories and a beer volcano. That is where I want to be.

Didn't this spaghetti joke run its course about a decade ago?

Time for you God-mockers to find new material.

"'Since you have done a half-ass job, you will receive half an ass!' The Great Pirate Solomon grabbed his ceremonial scimitar and struck his remaining donkey, cleaving it in two." Slackers 1:52-53

Why would this be a joke? I genuinely believe all that I say.

May you be touched by His noodley appendage.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: You sad, sad heathens

May you be touched by His noodley appendage.

Oh sweet Jesus how I hate godmocking scum like you! You and your fake, made-up religion that makes absolutely no sense and is not believable by any rational human being. The Holy Bible foretold that perverts like you would haunt us in the End Times.

Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.