X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • Burning for Christ
    Unsaved trash
    Under Investigation
    • Jan 2013
    • 3

    #1

    Mornin' Neighbors

    Hey y'all,

    I've been praying on it a long time, and God has finally allowed me to access the internet. He sent me a sign from a rogue wifi signal, which my Nokia was able to pickup from inside my trailer shed. So now I'm here on a mission for God, and looking to meet new friends.

    I've been a member of the local FBI Chapter, Firm Believers in Christ, here in Deerborn Michigan. I am heteroly married to my wife of 23 years, Tammy Ann, and together we have 4-5 children, and love most of them. My youngest son is currently fighting the devil, in a long battle against heartburn.

    Send me a message if you'd like to talk. If God wills the neighboring carwash's wifi signal to grace me again, I will respond as soon as I am able.

    Prayer's be with you,
    Gustoford Rigsby Jr.
    Christ Warrior since 1973
  • Zechariah Smyth
    Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
    True Christian™
    • Feb 2011
    • 15251

    #2
    Re: Mornin' Neighbors

    "Deerborn" huh? Ooooooo-kay.

    What church in "Deerborn" do you attend? What is your favorite Bible verse? How do you justify stealing wi-fi (from a biblical standpoint)?

    YiC,

    Zech
    sigpic

    Comment

    • Mr. Sharp
      Unsaved trash, hopeless mongolid
       
      • Jan 2013
      • 26

      #3
      Re: Mornin' Neighbors

      Hello there. I am Mr. Sharp, pleased to meet you.

      How have you been treating the heartburn exactly?

      YIC
      1 Corinthians 3:18 Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.

      1 Corinthians 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.

      Comment

      • Mary Etheldreda
        Gushing for Jesus
         
        • Sep 2011
        • 23775

        #4
        Re: Mornin' Neighbors

        Hello and welcome to our friendly forums!

        One of the things I know men like to talk about is their wive's pie. Mr. Etheldreda is always bragging about my pie, but I don't like to boast myself. It's a gift from God.



        So what pie does your wife make for you up there in the cold forests of Michigan?
        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • Burning for Christ
          Unsaved trash
          Under Investigation
          • Jan 2013
          • 3

          #5
          Re: Mornin' Neighbors

          Hi brother,

          As you may know, Deerborn is the muslim-terrorist capitol of the Us of A, so I'm considered somewhat of a renegade here. There aren't many god fearing churches here, so I teach the love of Christ from the den of my trailer shed. We only have a few members now, but you'd think it was a hundred if you saw us when we got the snakes a'going.

          I've always been a fan of 2 Kings 18:27. I don't know what it means but I got it tattoo'd on my wife as a dare.

          And as far as stealing wifi as you call it, I see it as God giving me a mission to spread the word of my church through the AOL. Who am I to not heed the Lord's call of duty?


          Christ be with you,
          Gustoford Rigsby Jr.
          Christ Warrior since 1973

          Comment

          • Zechariah Smyth
            Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
            True Christian™
            • Feb 2011
            • 15251

            #6
            Re: Mornin' Neighbors

            Snakes? Tattoos? Thievery?

            You pulling my leg, boy?

            YiC,

            Zech
            sigpic

            Comment

            • Professor Bessemer
              Professor of Creation Science at Landover University
              Certified Ex-Gay Program Graduate
              Darwin's Worst Nightmare
              True Christian™
              • May 2009
              • 2952

              #7
              Re: Mornin' Neighbors

              While I find your florid, colloquial language a bit off putting, I cautiously welcome you to our holy forum. Please tell us of the day, tone, and the . . . ah, feelings you felt when Jesus first entered you.
              Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University


              sigpic

              Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

              Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21

              Comment

              • Faith_Machine
                Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
                True Christian™
                • Mar 2011
                • 10050

                #8
                Re: Mornin' Neighbors

                You wouldn't have to be using WiFi if you paid for a decent data plan with your wireless provider. Can't afford it? Try tithing adequately, and you'll be surprised how quickly the Lord blesses you with abundance!

                PS: Nokias are for gays.
                WARNING:
                In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
                REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

                Comment

                • James Hutchins
                  True Christian™
                  Just a Regular Nice Guy
                   
                  • Jun 2009
                  • 29453

                  #9
                  Re: Mornin' Neighbors

                  Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                  Snakes? Tattoos? Thievery?

                  You pulling my leg, boy?

                  YiC,

                  Zech
                  He is pulling something and I suspect it is something only those 'on the down low' pull.
                  Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                  Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                  Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                  Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                  Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                  Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                  Comment

                  Working...