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To whom it may concern:
I am a representative of “Pacific Rim Pleasures” of Los Angeles.
I regret resorting to a semi public forum, but my company has attempted to contact Landover Baptist repeatedly concerning nonpayment of services rendered during the holiday season of 2012. All mail has been returned marked, “Undeliverable-Praise JESUS Filthy Heathen!” Repeated attempts to contact Landover Baptist via other means have been unsuccessful as well.
Two representatives of your church, Aaron Portway, and another person (later determined via videotape, many hours of in room videotape) to be Pastor Ezekiel Flint, were given carte blanche at our location on two occasions. In addition to services rendered at our establishment, and two bottles of very rare Glenfidditch taken by Captain Portway for “the flight home”, there are also four hours of limousine time billed for transportation to/from LAX and the pastor’s G650 “Landover Baptist Missionary Transport”.
The total bill was $47,500 for services rendered, including the two bottles of scotch, as well as $1800 for transportation costs. A single cashier’s check for the total, or the pastor’s AmEx Centurion Black card information will be acceptable.
In the event this bill is not settled promptly, within the next fifteen days, there will also be additional fees of $2000 per day imposed for “video storage”of the pastor’s exorcisms, and his oft repeated attempts to remove demons via the rectums of several adolescent Asian boys in our establishment. I have personally seen these videos, and can only congratulate the pastor on his stamina in performing the LORD’s work…….repeatedly.
After thirty days of nonpayment, who knows where those videos might end up? Our video storage is limited and it is entirely possible information might be accidentally leaked/hacked from the “cloud”. In event of continued nonpayment, our “Payment Collection Team” will also make a visit to Landover after the thirty day window to help the pastor discover the healing powers of Jesus.
Thank you for your time.
YIC,
Sergey “The Bonecrusher” Grigoryev
I am a representative of “Pacific Rim Pleasures” of Los Angeles.
I regret resorting to a semi public forum, but my company has attempted to contact Landover Baptist repeatedly concerning nonpayment of services rendered during the holiday season of 2012. All mail has been returned marked, “Undeliverable-Praise JESUS Filthy Heathen!” Repeated attempts to contact Landover Baptist via other means have been unsuccessful as well.
Two representatives of your church, Aaron Portway, and another person (later determined via videotape, many hours of in room videotape) to be Pastor Ezekiel Flint, were given carte blanche at our location on two occasions. In addition to services rendered at our establishment, and two bottles of very rare Glenfidditch taken by Captain Portway for “the flight home”, there are also four hours of limousine time billed for transportation to/from LAX and the pastor’s G650 “Landover Baptist Missionary Transport”.
The total bill was $47,500 for services rendered, including the two bottles of scotch, as well as $1800 for transportation costs. A single cashier’s check for the total, or the pastor’s AmEx Centurion Black card information will be acceptable.
In the event this bill is not settled promptly, within the next fifteen days, there will also be additional fees of $2000 per day imposed for “video storage”of the pastor’s exorcisms, and his oft repeated attempts to remove demons via the rectums of several adolescent Asian boys in our establishment. I have personally seen these videos, and can only congratulate the pastor on his stamina in performing the LORD’s work…….repeatedly.
After thirty days of nonpayment, who knows where those videos might end up? Our video storage is limited and it is entirely possible information might be accidentally leaked/hacked from the “cloud”. In event of continued nonpayment, our “Payment Collection Team” will also make a visit to Landover after the thirty day window to help the pastor discover the healing powers of Jesus.
Thank you for your time.
YIC,
Sergey “The Bonecrusher” Grigoryev
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