[Captain Daniel Gregg]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

Thanks for that disgusting interlude, Clarence.

Captain Gregg, I am moved by your words. It seems clear that you do love to plunge Jesus' white-hot Love deep into the men you meet, pounding on the doors of their hearts until they open up, enraptured, to receive His Glory!

I'm so glad to see a gentleman of your caliber join our Forum!

Incidentally, there IS a certain Nigra that this country would do better without. I'm sure you know which one I mean . . .

I think I know exactly which nigra you're referring to - I hate Whoopie Goldberg too

[Dr. Santiago Solo]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

My travels take me through the Cannibal Coconut Islands of Polynesia, New Guinea, Australia, and Hawaii. There is always a village Chieftan wanting to 'thin out' his village, or just get rid of some troublemakers (are there any here on these forums who you would like to 'donate' to my enterprise?). These kanakas quickly find Jesus once theyre on board if they know whats good for them, so by the time theyre cutting sugar cane, or picking cotton, they are 100% vaccinated with the Holy Spirit, washed clean by Christ and tamed by the Word of God!
I often compare my large Iron Harpoon to the Holy Sprit. If you only get a bit of the harpoon in the whale, why, its just plain dangerous and ineffective. So too with the word of Jesus. You have to plunge that word in as deep and as hard as you possibly can, aiming through the blubber straight for the heart. If your aim is true, soul has been won and Jesus can use that body in a most productive fashion. But - if you miss your mark and only succeed in 'wounding' your prey with half-baked preaching and empty evangelising, then you've got an enraged and dangerous mindless animal on your hands. Any man among us whose wife suffers from PMS can attest as to how unpleasant this experience can be.
Thats why I now save souls for Jesus the same way I hunted for whales - without mercy, thinking only of victory as I thrust the razor sharp word of God deep into the vitals of the Unbeliever, claiming yet another life for Christ.
I suggest that every time one thinks they are 'too busy' to claim a life for Christ to think of my analogy - and think of how useful the Whale becomes once it has been killed, cut up, boiled down and turned into lamp oil, its ambergris into perfume and its bones into delightful scrimshaw carvings and whalebone corsets etc. - An unsaved sinner is like a big dumb whale swimming happily around the ocean- full of potential but ultimately wasted.
I urge you my fellow Christians to HARPOON A SOUL FOR JESUS - turn their useless unsaved carcasses into spiritual lampoil and perfume that we might light our lives and scent our world with Christian Love.
Become a fisher of men - I have, it delivers returns beyond this world
Amen.

Oh, Captain your words give me such great hope! I'd love to discuss with you any way of bringing the warm and penetrating Love© of Jesus deep into the non-believers, especially the ones here, in this heathen rock of Australia, full of reckless surfers, body-builders and overall sinners of all sort, they don't seem to care about Baby Jesus' Love®, even when they're blonde and blue-eyed just like him! And they get upset with the whale hunting (or more properly fishing), denying the Eternal® Word that states that we have all Creation for our disposal! Welcome, dear Captain, do come talk to me, I fly constantly back and forth from this heathen place to Godly Iowa, I wouldn't mind taking a trip in your Godly boat...

[eliot mayfield]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

I hate whales. I was up in Alaska off of Dutch fishing for turbot, when a pod of Orca found us. They followed our boat for weeks eating all our catch and us only getting heads!
Free Willy? Only if it's free willy sandwiches!

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

My travels take me through the Cannibal Coconut Islands of Polynesia, New Guinea, Australia, and Hawaii. There is always a village Chieftan wanting to 'thin out' his village, or just get rid of some troublemakers (are there any here on these forums who you would like to 'donate' to my enterprise?). These kanakas quickly find Jesus once theyre on board if they know whats good for them, so by the time theyre cutting sugar cane, or picking cotton, they are 100% vaccinated with the Holy Spirit, washed clean by Christ and tamed by the Word of God!
I often compare my large Iron Harpoon to the Holy Sprit. If you only get a bit of the harpoon in the whale, why, its just plain dangerous and ineffective. So too with the word of Jesus. You have to plunge that word in as deep and as hard as you possibly can, aiming through the blubber straight for the heart. If your aim is true, soul has been won and Jesus can use that body in a most productive fashion. But - if you miss your mark and only succeed in 'wounding' your prey with half-baked preaching and empty evangelising, then you've got an enraged and dangerous mindless animal on your hands. Any man among us whose wife suffers from PMS can attest as to how unpleasant this experience can be.
Thats why I now save souls for Jesus the same way I hunted for whales - without mercy, thinking only of victory as I thrust the razor sharp word of God deep into the vitals of the Unbeliever, claiming yet another life for Christ.
I suggest that every time one thinks they are 'too busy' to claim a life for Christ to think of my analogy - and think of how useful the Whale becomes once it has been killed, cut up, boiled down and turned into lamp oil, its ambergris into perfume and its bones into delightful scrimshaw carvings and whalebone corsets etc. - An unsaved sinner is like a big dumb whale swimming happily around the ocean- full of potential but ultimately wasted.
I urge you my fellow Christians to HARPOON A SOUL FOR JESUS - turn their useless unsaved carcasses into spiritual lampoil and perfume that we might light our lives and scent our world with Christian Love.
Become a fisher of men - I have, it delivers returns beyond this world
Amen.

I really like the (to use a nautical term)...uh-hum... The "cut of your jib" Captain Daniel Gregg .

I want to organize a little extraordinary rendition on the high seas for
Reuerend RauenMoone. This creature is a confessed witch and I'm about to bring the damning evidence upon him.

I was thinking if we can get him to a country that still actively outlaws witchcraft we could get a conviction and then burn him at the stake. Two countries come to mind: Tajikistan and Zimbabwe.

You up for it Cappin?

The foul slimes profile can be found here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/member.php?u=4811

He is currently contaminating this thread:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=11423&page=16

I will be shortly announcing his impending doom. Feel free to chime in so that he knows his days are numbered.

[SUV]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

Why would your god plague you if he loves you so?

How silly can some sinners be? Why, to show us he CARES, of course! And to occasionally get our minds of all of the plastic-electric Bounty (that is a nod to yourself, Captain!) that He has provided us and onto Him for brief periods of time.

And now - back to your thread, Captain! No matter how vile MOC gets again, I shall try my Damnest to respond to her no further

[Captain Daniel Gregg]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

Oh, Captain your words give me such great hope! I'd love to discuss with you any way of bringing the warm and penetrating Love© of Jesus deep into the non-believers, especially the ones here, in this heathen rock of Australia, full of reckless surfers, body-builders and overall sinners of all sort, they don't seem to care about Baby Jesus' Love®, even when they're blonde and blue-eyed just like him! And they get upset with the whale hunting (or more properly fishing), denying the Eternal® Word that states that we have all Creation for our disposal! Welcome, dear Captain, do come talk to me, I fly constantly back and forth from this heathen place to Godly Iowa, I wouldn't mind taking a trip in your Godly boat...

Nothing could possibly bring me greater pleasure than ministering the salty-but-nice flavour of the Word of Jesus to the young folk in Australia. There's always room for one more position in my missionary ship. A Dr. you say? I am sorely in need of a ships doctor - especially one with less strict scruples than myself - do you have a well stocked medicine cabinet? I suffer badly from anxiety .....

[Star Finder]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

I don't believe that you are a ship's captain. more like a deck swabie more likely.

[Captain Daniel Gregg]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

I hate whales. I was up in Alaska off of Dutch fishing for turbot, when a pod of Orca found us. They followed our boat for weeks eating all our catch and us only getting heads!
Free Willy? Only if it's free willy sandwiches!

whenever I found myself being harried by a pack of sharks intent on eating my hard earned catch, I always found it best to throw them a few 'distractions' - in the form of a couple of thrashing 'polly-wogs' as I like to refer to my 'passengers'
They have such a panic about them upon hitting the water, that the splashing around and thrashing about gives us just enough time to retrieve the whale with minimal damage...however their blasted thick bone density won't allow the darkies to stay afloat very long, so speed is always of the essence...

[Captain Daniel Gregg]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

I really like the (to use a nautical term)...uh-hum... The "cut of your jib" Captain Daniel Gregg .

I want to organize a little extraordinary rendition on the high seas for
Reuerend RauenMoone. This creature is a confessed witch and I'm about to bring the damning evidence upon him.

I was thinking if we can get him to a country that still actively outlaws witchcraft we could get a conviction and then burn him at the stake. Two countries come to mind: Tajikistan and Zimbabwe.

You up for it Cappin?

The foul slimes profile can be found here: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/member.php?u=4811

He is currently contaminating this thread:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=11423&page=16

I will be shortly announcing his impending doom. Feel free to chime in so that he knows his days are numbered.

I like to think of myself as a 'big picture' kind of captain.....so while I am all in favour of a one way trip to Zimbabwe for the Reuerend Rauen Moone, I couldn't justify such a long voyage simply for one single solitary witch....are you following me here, Herr Doktor? ( are you also a Doctor of Medicine? I am in need of a sleeping draught for my nerves...but I digress.....)
There seems to be veritable plague of Witchy types here on these forums - perhaps if we can gather them together, them and their Gothic cronies, we can fill my hold with historys unholiest cargoe, set course for Zimbabwe and stage the single largest witch mass trial the world has ever seen - we shall sell the Television rights to the FOX network, to cover the cost of the voyage, and follow it up with "Burn-Fest 2010" . Side shows such as the occasional witch dunking etc can be incorporated without any effort....In the unlikely event of spontaneous repentences, we can use these repenters to 'pull the switch' as it were, on their hellbound acquaintances....doesn't that sound like the stuff reality TV is just begging for?

[Captain Daniel Gregg]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

I don't believe that you are a ship's captain. more like a deck swabie more likely.

and you don't believe in the Lord Jesus , born of a virgin, God Incarnate, sent to earth to die for all our sins either.
Enough said.

[JennyD]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

I think I know exactly which nigra you're referring to - I hate Whoopie Goldberg too

Well, ok, two.

She's more of a Nigress. I speak of a Nigra, of the male variety.

Hint: Only half of him is actually Nigra.

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

whenever I found myself being harried by a pack of sharks intent on eating my hard earned catch, I always found it best to throw them a few 'distractions' - in the form of a couple of thrashing 'polly-wogs' as I like to refer to my 'passengers'
They have such a panic about them upon hitting the water, that the splashing around and thrashing about gives us just enough time to retrieve the whale with minimal damage...however their blasted thick bone density won't allow the darkies to stay afloat very long, so speed is always of the essence...

Killing a human being in order to preserve your profit margin? Jesus would NOT approve.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

Killing a human being in order to preserve your profit margin? Jesus would NOT approve.

For the millionth time, Jesus is NOT a damned communist like you! He is a REPUBLICAN!

Now stop derailing the good captain's thread.

[Herr_Doktor Phd.]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

I like to think of myself as a 'big picture' kind of captain.....so while I am all in favour of a one way trip to Zimbabwe for the Reuerend Rauen Moone, I couldn't justify such a long voyage simply for one single solitary witch....are you following me here, Herr Doktor? ( are you also a Doctor of Medicine? I am in need of a sleeping draught for my nerves...but I digress.....)

The scurvy dog has scuppered his clipper and sailed off. He sensed I was moving my flotilla onto him to get a good broad-side in and was not man enough to face me cutlass to cutlass.

My PhD was in veterinary science before they revoked it. You would be surprised what I can still obtain with that. All the labels say not suitable for human consumption but it's really the same stuff. I could certainly keep your black-bird cargo quite on the middle passage and still obtain enough for your... uh-hum.. medical needs. At the very least I could post the supplies to you.

There seems to be veritable plague of Witchy types here on these forums - perhaps if we can gather them together, them and their Gothic cronies, we can fill my hold with historys unholiest cargoe, set course for Zimbabwe and stage the single largest witch mass trial the world has ever seen - we shall sell the Television rights to the FOX network, to cover the cost of the voyage, and follow it up with "Burn-Fest 2010" . Side shows such as the occasional witch dunking etc can be incorporated without any effort....In the unlikely event of spontaneous repentences, we can use these repenters to 'pull the switch' as it were, on their hellbound acquaintances....doesn't that sound like the stuff reality TV is just begging for?

Captain, I really like your thinking. I think we can get a enough of the scum to fill the hold.

This will add a whole new meaning to on-board games and entertainment. Can we get a few of them to walk the plank while the sharks are gathering?

Also, I think getting Fox to host a reality TV series is only touching the tip of the iceberg. How about tithing the local church communities to get rid of their Wiccan problem? I'm sure many of them would cough up happily.

And then there's the potential profits on the other side.

Once we get them to their destinations we can siphon off the pretty young ones into the white..uh-hum...slave trade. It makes no difference to them as they are already doomed to Hell.

[Captain Daniel Gregg]

Re: Avast ye scurvy dogs

The scurvy dog has scuppered his clipper and sailed off. He sensed I was moving my flotilla onto him to get a good broad-side in and was not man enough to face me cutlass to cutlass.

My PhD was in veterinary science before they revoked it. You would be surprised what I can still obtain with that. All the labels say not suitable for human consumption but it's really the same stuff. I could certainly keep your black-bird cargo quite on the middle passage and still obtain enough for your... uh-hum.. medical needs. At the very least I could post the supplies to you.



Captain, I really like your thinking. I think we can get a enough of the scum to fill the hold.

This will add a whole new meaning to on-board games and entertainment. Can we get a few of them to walk the plank while the sharks are gathering?

Also, I think getting Fox to host a reality TV series is only touching the tip of the iceberg. How about tithing the local church communities to get rid of their Wiccan problem? I'm sure many of them would cough up happily.

And then there's the potential profits on the other side.

Once we get them to their destinations we can siphon off the pretty young ones into the white..uh-hum...slave trade. It makes no difference to them as they are already doomed to Hell.

Once we're in international waters, we can do anything our consciences permit - or more accurately - anything the bible permits us to do. Slavery? No problem! Killing witches? No problem! Non-prescription pharmaceuticals? No Problem! No Police - No laws - No problem - as long as the Bible is our guide we can operate without fear of retribution - divine or otherwise.
Life on the High seas, eh? You can't beat it! (but you can beat the crew within reason if the occasion demands it...)