Hello!

[Arethusa]

Just here to poke my head in since I can finally post threads and participate. I'll try not to blaspheme or take the Lord's name in vain too often, so that I may finally get to edit my profile.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

Just here to poke my head in since I can finally post threads and participate. I'll try not to blaspheme or take the Lord's name in vain too often, so that I may finally get to edit my profile.

Welcome brother. Please tell us about yourself in detail. Confess your sins to Jesus.

[Arethusa]

Re: Hello!

Welcome brother. Please tell us about yourself in detail. Confess your sins to Jesus.

I'll save the juicy details for God. :p I'm a 22 year old grad student attending university in Canada and a reader of Landover for several years. The quizzes can't be beat, but my favourite article has to be the one asserting that Noah and his sons rode pterodactyls. I don't know why a Creationist scientist hasn't won a Nobel Prize yet.

I was an Anglican, now I'm just floating around.

[Arethusa]

Re: Hello!

Thanks for the welcome! (I can't edit my post, so I had to do a double, sorry.)

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Hello!

I'll save the juicy details for God. :p I'm a 22 year old grad student attending university in Canada and a reader of Landover for several years. The quizzes can't be beat, but my favourite article has to be the one asserting that Noah and his sons rode pterodactyls. I don't know why a Creationist scientist hasn't won a Nobel Prize yet.

I was an Anglican, now I'm just floating around.

Then you have come to the right place. Being a Godless cannuck must be a heavy burden to carry, but at least you have had the sense to abandon that false Christian cult, the Anglekins.

I strongly suggest that you read these threads carefully, study the KJV 1611 Bible, and apply for an American Green Card today. I assume that you know that America is God's chosen country, and that God Hates Canada.

[Arethusa]

Re: Hello!

Then you have come to the right place. Being a Godless cannuck must be a heavy burden to carry, but at least you have had the sense to abandon that false Christian cult, the Anglekins.

I strongly suggest that you read these threads carefully, study the KJV 1611 Bible, and apply for an American Green Card today. I assume that you know that America is God's chosen country, and that God Hates Canada.

Actually, I'm Jamaican, I just came here for school. And I should be getting a Green Card soon so really, I'm all set.

Wow, that site is...very persuasive. I'm confused though: if God hates Canada and America, as that site proposes, how come the Canadian residents are the only ones who have to move?

God hates the USA and America is doomed.

Doesn't exactly sound like paradise.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello!

Dear friend:

Hello, and welcome to God's favorite discussion board on the interwebs. I hope you'll participate in our Godly discussions, so that our pastors can get to know you and set up a tithing schedule for you.

In Christ's abundant love,
MSTT

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: Hello!

I suggest you be careful with this whole "university" stuff. I believe it would be best for you to transfer into one of the Landover Approved(tm) universities, like Landover University, Pensacola Christian or some other such college. Although most of their members and faculty (if not all) are going to Hell(tm), they are more likely to preach God's Holy Wrath(tm) than any normal LIEberal one....

[Glendora Christianson]

Welcome Arethusa

I try not to come down too hard on Canada. Afterall, Canada is touching God's favorite country and 80% of Canadians live in a narrow strip of land that abuts? it. Anyway, Canada is an exellent place for oil wells, nuclear power plants and auto factories. But your Mother Glynndie is concerned about that strange weed Jamaicans can't seem to keep from smoking. Our Lord Jesus Christ does not approve of marijuana, so promise Mother Glynndie to follow these steps:

1. Admit that you are powerless over marijuana.
2. Admit that you are a marijuana addict and cannot manage your own life.
3. Admit that no human can overcome marijuana addiction without GOD.
4. Recognize LBC as GOD's favorite church.
5. Signal to GOD that you are ready to overcome your marijuana addiction by pressing the PayPal button at the bottom of your computer's display.

[Brother Love]

Re: Hello!

I'll save the juicy details for God. :p I'm a 22 year old grad student attending university in Canada and a reader of Landover for several years. The quizzes can't be beat, but my favourite article has to be the one asserting that Noah and his sons rode pterodactyls. I don't know why a Creationist scientist hasn't won a Nobel Prize yet.

I was an Anglican, now I'm just floating around.

Well lets me say first Welcome and now let me gets down to busyness.
You be floatin round?
That kind alike peoples in the 60's tryin to find themselves ain't it?
Floatin round means you ain't accepted the LORD yet!!
CONFESS YOU SINS!!
DECLARE JESUS AS YOU LORD RIT NOW!!
Glory Halalulu!!

Oh...sorry..I gets alittle carried away when I starts to feel the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT fillin me up!!

Welcome and Praise God!!

[Arethusa]

Re: Hello!

I suggest you be careful with this whole "university" stuff. I believe it would be best for you to transfer into one of the Landover Approved(tm) universities, like Landover University, Pensacola Christian or some other such college. Although most of their members and faculty (if not all) are going to Hell(tm), they are more likely to preach God's Holy Wrath(tm) than any normal LIEberal one....

Sadly, I don't think that I would be able to get into law school with accreditation from your universities. I plan to infiltrate the demon's lair and convert from within! Something like that. I'll be careful!

I try not to come down too hard on Canada. Afterall, Canada is touching God's favorite country and 80% of Canadians live in a narrow strip of land that abuts? it. Anyway, Canada is an exellent place for oil wells, nuclear power plants and auto factories. But your Mother Glynndie is concerned about that strange weed Jamaicans can't seem to keep from smoking. Our Lord Jesus Christ does not approve of marijuana, so promise Mother Glynndie to follow these steps:

1. Admit that you are powerless over marijuana.
2. Admit that you are a marijuana addict and cannot manage your own life.
3. Admit that no human can overcome marijuana addiction without GOD.
4. Recognize LBC as GOD's favorite church.
5. Signal to GOD that you are ready to overcome your marijuana addiction by pressing the PayPal button at the bottom of your computer's display.

Your concern has made me feel very welcome and if I had ever touched marijuana I would definitely follow your logical five step programme. Oddly enough I've seen more weed in Canada than I ever did back home (which was zero).

I also appreciate the gracious acknowledgement of Canada's virtues, even if all of the auto factories are closing down, so we've only got the first two. We are fighting evil terraists in Afghanistan--that counts, right?

[Arethusa]

Re: Hello!

Well lets me say first Welcome and now let me gets down to busyness.
You be floatin round?
That kind alike peoples in the 60's tryin to find themselves ain't it?
Floatin round means you ain't accepted the LORD yet!!
CONFESS YOU SINS!!
DECLARE JESUS AS YOU LORD RIT NOW!!
Glory Halalulu!!

Oh...sorry..I gets alittle carried away when I starts to feel the POWER of the HOLY SPIRIT fillin me up!!

Welcome and Praise God!!

I'll try to get on that ASAP. I figure registering at Landover was the first step. Thanks again to everyone (you too More Saved) for the welcome.

[Enobarbus]

Re: Hello!

Sadly, I don't think that I would be able to get into law school with accreditation from your universities. I plan to infiltrate the demon's lair and convert from within! Something like that. I'll be careful!



Your concern has made me feel very welcome and if I had ever touched marijuana I would definitely follow your logical five step programme. Oddly enough I've seen more weed in Canada than I ever did back home (which was zero).

I also appreciate the gracious acknowledgement of Canada's virtues, even if all of the auto factories are closing down, so we've only got the first two. We are fighting evil terraists in Afghanistan--that counts, right?

"Canada's virtues"? I'm sorry, my friend but that really is a contradiction in terms. Canada may not be as Godless as Australia, and nowhere near as Godless as New Zealand and Norway, but Godless it is, and we must face facts.

This is not to say that Canadians or even New Zealanders like myself and Mrs Rogers can't be saved (Lilith is another story; she is completely beyond hope with her place in hell already reserved). It's just that much more difficult. And for a Jamaican Canadian, it will be even more difficult. Not impossible, but very difficult. It is going to take a lot of prayer fasting repenting and tithing, but I feel that the Lord may singled you out and you may be the first ever darkie canuck to become a True Christian™.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hello!

I was an Anglican, now I'm just floating around.

Well, repenting of Anglicanism does significantly reduce your chances of being a sodomite, but I'd still advise you to get right with the Lord fast if you don't want to spend eternity "floating around" in the Lake of Fire.

We are fighting evil terraists in Afghanistan--that counts, right?

Well, not really, since the Canadian army's combat effectiveness does seem to be significantly decreased by their effete limp-wristedness. But still, as long as you're not from the French part of Canada, there may be hope for you yet. You certainly seem considerably less braindead than most of the flotsam and jetsam that wash up on this Holy corner of the internet.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Hello!

Your concern has made me feel very welcome and if I had ever touched marijuana I would definitely follow your logical five step programme. Oddly enough I've seen more weed in Canada than I ever did back home (which was zero).

I also appreciate the gracious acknowledgement of Canada's virtues, even if all of the auto factories are closing down, so we've only got the first two. We are fighting evil terraists in Afghanistan--that counts, right?

Perhaps the pot smoking Canadians don't build good cars? But Mother Glynndie looks forward to the day she might be able to hire a pale skinned gardner and send Alberto back to Mehijico. And I am so glad you're not one of those pot smoking hippies . . . now if we can just teach you how to use a Godly firearm