[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Why thankyou, Glendora, for being such a sweet lady and caring about saving my precious kitties.
Money is not a problem, I was left quite a bit by my dear deceased parents.
Would this baptism leave them ok? They wouldn't be harmed?
I really don't want to eat my precious kitties, so sorry to all the other lovely posters here, but I'd rather keep them alive.

Of couse they would be OK. Once submerged in our unique and secret blend of special waters, those kitties would experience a radical shift in spirituality known only by Jesus' chosen few at LBC. As far as the eating part, I sure hope you aren't Chineeese. I have wondered about that Orange Chicken at Mr. Wong's . . . I don't recall pieces of meat quite like those at Mr. Wongs . . . at least not on a chicken.

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

As a senior pastor here, I would be thrilled to perform an en más baptism (en más meaning all at once, NOT anything to do with Cathylicking). But I feel our Lord Jesus Christ would be disappointed if the requester (Crazy Cat Lady) didn't take the baptism seriously. Perhaps the best way to show Jesus your commitment would be by paying a reasonable baptismal fee of say, $300 per cat. How does that sound???

PS I'm pretty sure our Lord Jesus Christ won't let those long tailed rats into Heaven, but it doesn't hurt to ask

PS PS Long haired cats must wear a swim cap in the baptismal pool!

Why thankyou, Glendora, for being such a sweet lady and caring about saving my precious kitties.
Money is not a problem, I was left quite a bit by my dear deceased parents.
Would this baptism leave them ok? They wouldn't be harmed?
I really don't want to eat my precious kitties, so sorry to all the other lovely posters here, but I'd rather keep them alive.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I meant the MAKEUP of its body. The way EVOLUTION has designed it. I used that for lack of a better word. I do not believe in the intelligent design theory, sorry.

[Talitha]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

What's a trollope? Is that a cross between a troll and an antelope?

And would you stop it? You eat squirrels too? Does the monstrosity of the landover diet never end? Next thing you'll be telling me you eat endangered species like pandas that you kidnap from the zoo!

Panda's.............Ah YES!!
A bit like Golden Eagle but a different colour meat!

YUMMY

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I do not believe in the intelligent design theory, sorry.

Good Heavens! Neither would any one else if you were the poster child. (snicker)

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I meant the MAKEUP of its body. The way EVOLUTION has designed it. I used that for lack of a better word. I do not believe in the intelligent design theory, sorry.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

They are hardly beast of burden.

How is that passage limited to beasts of burden?

They are domestic animals, and what's more, they are good hunters and can help keep your house free of mice.

We get wool from sheep and cashmere from goats. Are you opposed to eating lamb, mutton, and goat?

And besides, look at their physical makeup. Their makeup does not suggest an animal designed to be eaten.

So you admit that animals were designed and didn't just evolve. We're making progress.

And besides, the bible is a load of hogwash!!!!

Then why do you care so much what it says? Make up your mind.

And would you stop it? You eat squirrels too? Does the monstrosity of the landover diet never end? Next thing you'll be telling me you eat endangered species like pandas that you kidnap from the zoo!

When last I checked, cats were not an endangered species, and neither were tree rats squirrels.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Hello dear True Christians!
It has been a while since I've seen you all, I am the cat lady, but for some reason people call me crazy just because I have a big house to fit my kitty family of 230 precious kitties.

I remember some time ago I asked you wonderful people, please help me get my kitties into heaven! I know they might not have souls but there must be a way to get my kitties into heaven!
Please help me!

-The cat lady

As a senior pastor here, I would be thrilled to perform an en más baptism (en más meaning all at once, NOT anything to do with Cathylicking). But I feel our Lord Jesus Christ would be disappointed if the requester (Crazy Cat Lady) didn't take the baptism seriously. Perhaps the best way to show Jesus your commitment would be by paying a reasonable baptismal fee of say, $300 per cat. How does that sound???

PS I'm pretty sure our Lord Jesus Christ won't let those long tailed rats into Heaven, but it doesn't hurt to ask

PS PS Long haired cats must wear a swim cap in the baptismal pool!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Cat's are too food. Pastor Zeke LOVES Kitty Casserole with those lil crunchies on top. Crumbled potato chips on the top brown very nicely.



Helpful, Sister Thumper

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

What's a trollope? Is that a cross between a troll and an antelope?

And would you stop it? You eat squirrels too? Does the monstrosity of the landover diet never end? Next thing you'll be telling me you eat endangered species like pandas that you kidnap from the zoo!

[Talitha]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

They are hardly beast of burden. They are domestic animals, and what's more, they are good hunters and can help keep your house free of mice.

They are also very intelligent. It's just not right to eat an intelligent animal like that. And besides, look at their physical makeup. Their makeup does not suggest an animal designed to be eaten. They have more use as domestic animals than as food.

And besides, the bible is a load of hogwash!!!!

Hogwash your mouth out you unholy trollope!

Intelligent or not, even domesticated animals are beasts that should be eaten.
I let my Kitties eat Squirrel meat as it adds to the flavour of the Cat. Gives them a "Nutty" flavour.
A Hazelnut in every bite you might say

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

So cats aren't "fourfooted beasts of the earth"?

They are hardly beast of burden. They are domestic animals, and what's more, they are good hunters and can help keep your house free of mice.

They are also very intelligent. It's just not right to eat an intelligent animal like that. And besides, look at their physical makeup. Their makeup does not suggest an animal designed to be eaten. They have more use as domestic animals than as food.

And besides, the bible is a load of hogwash!!!!

[Talitha]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Sorry Crazy Lady, not even our most Senior Pastor can have any sway with Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I love Kitties, however Jesus'© word is final and if he says Hell and Damnation then so be it.



Kittie about to go to Eternal Damnation

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

That does not mention eating cats. As a matter of fact, I don't think the word 'cat' even appears in the KJV1611.

I do hope you don't tell the cat lady that she needs to eat her cats!

So cats aren't "fourfooted beasts of the earth"?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

That does not mention eating cats. As a matter of fact, I don't think the word 'cat' even appears in the KJV1611.

I do hope you don't tell the cat lady that she needs to eat her cats!