Hello and help me save the kitties!!

[Crazy Cat Lady]

Hello dear True Christians!
It has been a while since I've seen you all, I am the cat lady, but for some reason people call me crazy just because I have a big house to fit my kitty family of 230 precious kitties.

I remember some time ago I asked you wonderful people, please help me get my kitties into heaven! I know they might not have souls but there must be a way to get my kitties into heaven!
Please help me!

-The cat lady

[John Smith]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

i am sure cats go to their own heaven far from hate and dogs i have a cat named mr pickles and he is a beautiful creature full of love

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

230 cats? Yeeucchh, don't get me wrong, CCL, I happen to love cats but isn't 230 just a little unhygenic? Surely you don't need so many cats? I do hope that you aren't like the people here who love cats.......on their dinner plate.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I do hope that you aren't like the people here who love cats.......on their dinner plate.

Just what is wrong with that?

Acts 10:9-16: On the morrow, as they went on their journey, and drew nigh unto the city, Peter went up upon the housetop to pray about the sixth hour: And he became very hungry, and would have eaten: but while they made ready, he fell into a trance, And saw heaven opened, and a certain vessel descending unto him, as it had been a great sheet knit at the four corners, and let down to the earth: Wherein were all manner of fourfooted beasts of the earth, and wild beasts, and creeping things, and fowls of the air. And there came a voice to him, Rise, Peter; kill, and eat. But Peter said, Not so, Lord; for I have never eaten any thing that is common or unclean. And the voice [spake] unto him again the second time, What God hath cleansed, [that] call not thou common. This was done thrice: and the vessel was received up again into heaven.

God said it; you have to believe it; that settles it.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

That does not mention eating cats. As a matter of fact, I don't think the word 'cat' even appears in the KJV1611.

I do hope you don't tell the cat lady that she needs to eat her cats!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

That does not mention eating cats. As a matter of fact, I don't think the word 'cat' even appears in the KJV1611.

I do hope you don't tell the cat lady that she needs to eat her cats!

So cats aren't "fourfooted beasts of the earth"?

[Talitha]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Sorry Crazy Lady, not even our most Senior Pastor can have any sway with Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I love Kitties, however Jesus'© word is final and if he says Hell and Damnation then so be it.



Kittie about to go to Eternal Damnation

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

So cats aren't "fourfooted beasts of the earth"?

They are hardly beast of burden. They are domestic animals, and what's more, they are good hunters and can help keep your house free of mice.

They are also very intelligent. It's just not right to eat an intelligent animal like that. And besides, look at their physical makeup. Their makeup does not suggest an animal designed to be eaten. They have more use as domestic animals than as food.

And besides, the bible is a load of hogwash!!!!

[Talitha]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

They are hardly beast of burden. They are domestic animals, and what's more, they are good hunters and can help keep your house free of mice.

They are also very intelligent. It's just not right to eat an intelligent animal like that. And besides, look at their physical makeup. Their makeup does not suggest an animal designed to be eaten. They have more use as domestic animals than as food.

And besides, the bible is a load of hogwash!!!!

Hogwash your mouth out you unholy trollope!

Intelligent or not, even domesticated animals are beasts that should be eaten.
I let my Kitties eat Squirrel meat as it adds to the flavour of the Cat. Gives them a "Nutty" flavour.
A Hazelnut in every bite you might say

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

What's a trollope? Is that a cross between a troll and an antelope?

And would you stop it? You eat squirrels too? Does the monstrosity of the landover diet never end? Next thing you'll be telling me you eat endangered species like pandas that you kidnap from the zoo!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Cat's are too food. Pastor Zeke LOVES Kitty Casserole with those lil crunchies on top. Crumbled potato chips on the top brown very nicely.



Helpful, Sister Thumper

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

Hello dear True Christians!
It has been a while since I've seen you all, I am the cat lady, but for some reason people call me crazy just because I have a big house to fit my kitty family of 230 precious kitties.

I remember some time ago I asked you wonderful people, please help me get my kitties into heaven! I know they might not have souls but there must be a way to get my kitties into heaven!
Please help me!

-The cat lady

As a senior pastor here, I would be thrilled to perform an en más baptism (en más meaning all at once, NOT anything to do with Cathylicking). But I feel our Lord Jesus Christ would be disappointed if the requester (Crazy Cat Lady) didn't take the baptism seriously. Perhaps the best way to show Jesus your commitment would be by paying a reasonable baptismal fee of say, $300 per cat. How does that sound???

PS I'm pretty sure our Lord Jesus Christ won't let those long tailed rats into Heaven, but it doesn't hurt to ask

PS PS Long haired cats must wear a swim cap in the baptismal pool!

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

They are hardly beast of burden.

How is that passage limited to beasts of burden?

They are domestic animals, and what's more, they are good hunters and can help keep your house free of mice.

We get wool from sheep and cashmere from goats. Are you opposed to eating lamb, mutton, and goat?

And besides, look at their physical makeup. Their makeup does not suggest an animal designed to be eaten.

So you admit that animals were designed and didn't just evolve. We're making progress.

And besides, the bible is a load of hogwash!!!!

Then why do you care so much what it says? Make up your mind.

And would you stop it? You eat squirrels too? Does the monstrosity of the landover diet never end? Next thing you'll be telling me you eat endangered species like pandas that you kidnap from the zoo!

When last I checked, cats were not an endangered species, and neither were tree rats squirrels.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I meant the MAKEUP of its body. The way EVOLUTION has designed it. I used that for lack of a better word. I do not believe in the intelligent design theory, sorry.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Hello and help me save the kitties!!

I do not believe in the intelligent design theory, sorry.

Good Heavens! Neither would any one else if you were the poster child. (snicker)