Female Seeking Man...

[Rosa Kettie Ceridwen]

... the only perfect Man, for whom I pray wishes to accessorize with a freshly Found feisty gal as I.
I'm like so ready to transubstantiate, me so thirsty!

I am currently receiving initiatory salvation from First Baptist Church-Big Pine. Plan is to find more conservative instruction soon.

Jesus came to me - at last - in my 17th year after watching Tribulation Force with my Aunt, who my mother never let me visit after she broke with the coven my mother founded in 1971. It was a profoundly personal and frankly frightening vision. Shaken to my core, I then went on to read about Him as well as watch more True Classics like Final: The Rapture.

Not to bore you fine people with my voluminous tales of woe, but I ran away from my mother's wickedness this year - free at last! - never knew my father (they were divorced when I was two), and my brother is a fairy who owns a vegan porn shop in Eugene.
Before I found His Light I could have been correctly called a lying tease of burgeoning licentiousness on a path that would fast lead to dyke sluttery, political perversions, murder (of pre-borns), wiccan sorcery...
That's the tip of the Sinning iceberg I narrowly dodged before losing my maidenhead. Now I swim joyously in the warm waters of Our Lord.

Favorite verse:
''Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.'' - Song of Solomon Chapter 4: 16

Love and kindness forever,
Kettie

[Levi Jones]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

It's nice to meet you. However, before you start trying to make babies from our fine fertile stock of seed, you have this problem of being a bastard child. Deuteronomy 23:2

Your children will also be bastards in the eyes of the Lord. Maybe we could look into getting you enrolled into an ex-bastard program. Of course there will be the standard filings, classes, exorcisms and some other small fees associated with such service.
But no price is too high for your children to enter into God's kingdom to frolic with Jesus in the clouds for eternity, is it?

I am glad you have kept your maidenhead/freshness seal intact. That will be a good bargaining point in any marriage negotiations.

Welcome to God's favorite forum. We hope to hear more from you.
Please feel free to post more pics of yourself.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

Well Kettie, you seem like trouble. I'll bet you're wearing something skimpy and revealing at this very moment, aren't you?

Anyway, hi. Please don't send me filthy messages.

[Rosa Kettie Ceridwen]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

Well Kettie, you seem like trouble. I'll bet you're wearing something skimpy and revealing at this very moment, aren't you?

Anyway, hi. Please don't send me filthy messages.

To be chaste until Mr. Righteous comes along is my pledge.
I promise I shall do as He Commands...
... keeping it on ice for Christ.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

You're beginning to grow on me, Kettie. I like the way you rebuked that demon spawn.

But I was right about you wearing something skimpy, wasn't I? It's OK, you can tell me.

[Rosa Kettie Ceridwen]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

It's nice to meet you. However, before you start trying to make babies from our fine fertile stock of seed, you have this problem of being a bastard child. Deuteronomy 23:2
[etc.]

Many thanks for your warm and cordial welcome my new friend, and your advice is deeply appreciated and will be heeded.

We hope to hear more from you.
Please feel free to post more pics of yourself.

As you wish (this first was taken the very day I ran away from home to live with my Aunt Ethel, so forgive how sickened and exhausted I look, as though a spell hung over me)...

, (...a spell finally broken!)

[Rosa Kettie Ceridwen]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

You're beginning to grow on me, Kettie. I like the way you rebuked that demon spawn.

But I was right about you wearing something skimpy, wasn't I? It's OK, you can tell me.

Thank you kindly, Faith Machine. And I would tell you if I was underdressed, but I am wearing thick woolen pajamas woven by True Christian laborers in the High Sierra wilds. Covers 94% of skin at all times.

[Rosa Kettie Ceridwen]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

Swing-and-a-miss, my friend. Better luck next time.

The swingers will always miss out on me, Zech! A real gentleman is hard to discover.
What may start as sweet-smelling chatup will in cold light of dawn be revealed be rotting flesh of lust. Not my game.

[Faith_Machine]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

Time to prepare for the road to come,
to keep my house & womb clean, orderly,
fit as thy conveyor belt creation device -
for new souls on their way to Christ!!!!!

Oh, what a lovely poem, and such a beautiful sentiment!

I don't like to think about wombs or other lady internal parts much, because it's all very icky, but as a True Republican Man™, I am, of course, something of an expert on wombs. Speaking in that capacity, I must commend you for your poem's scientific accuracy.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

So this Danablo interloper now has multiple accounts? All so he can exploit a bastard girl and lead her into a life of whoredom?

Danablo, I'm adding you to my prayer list.

Speaking of butt pirates, he no doubt is a member of the D'Oyly Carte Opera Company.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Female Seeking Man...

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.