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  • #1

    Retarded Housewife here

    Hello guys, i've been with my husband for 3 years and he just doesn't let me out of the kitchen.

    He uses these forums quite a bit so i was wondering if i was able to convince him to swap roles for a week so he can be cooking and cleaning whilst i sit on my face...

    Thanks guys!
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  • #2
    Re: Housewife here

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: Housewife here

      Who is your husband? Does he know what you are up to?
      Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
      Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
      Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
      Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
      Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
      Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: Retarded Housewife here

        How can one sit on one's own face?

        I've witnessed a lot of face-sitting behavior amongst the gaywise, and it is a nasty business. It normally requires at least two people, though.
        WARNING:
        In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
        REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: Retarded Housewife here

          Originally posted by ILurvJeeesus View Post
          Hello guys, i've been with my husband for 3 years and he just doesn't let me out of the kitchen.

          He uses these forums quite a bit so i was wondering if i was able to convince him to swap roles for a week so he can be cooking and cleaning whilst i sit on my face...

          Thanks guys!
          What your husband does with you is his business, and it is your business to accept and do whatever he asks (I Peter 3:1). We'd like to know who your husband is so that we may counsel him on this matter.

          As for swapping roles, there is no more chance of that than one of us men swapping roles with God Almighty for a week (see Isaiah 42:8). Let's be realistic.

          Pastor Ed

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: Retarded Housewife here

            Look lady, while I may still be a babe in Christ™ here I don't know what you're thinking about asking your husband to switch his role from head to toe.
            He is your head (1 Tim 2:12, 1 Cor 11:3)

            The saying goes "head over heals in love" (and God is love: 1 John 4:8) it does not say "heals over head".

            Fly right missy and think about making your disgusting body useful!!!=>1 Tim 2:15

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: Retarded Housewife here

              Don't fear being retarded, for the LORD still loves you:

              "The Lord preserueth the simple: I was brought low, and hee helped me." Psalms 116:6

              As a loving Christian however, I take offense that you are attempting to raise yourself above your husband. At the Baptist Men's Weekly Meeting on Keeping Women in Tow just last Thursday, we discussed techniques for dealing with the weaker (and mentally unequal) sex when they try to femininitize their proud, manly husbands. Praise the Lord for Brother Hansel, who presented us with many helpful suggestions.

              I would point you to the 31st chapter of the book of Proverbs, verse 3, where you'll find these words:

              "Giue not thy strength vnto women, nor thy wayes to that which destroyeth kings." (Glory to GOD). This orders your "man" not to allow this role reversal you sinfully seek.

              You are not without hope. The fine pastors of this forum (God's favorite) will endeavor to point you in the right direction (hint - it's the kitchen) and with any luck at all, your soul will find redemption through the shed blood of the LORD JESUS. You are in our prayers until we hear from the LORD otherwise to give you over to a reprobate mind.

              Compassionately,
              Brother Larry

              "It's not important for women to be vote unless they put the ballot box in the pantry." (Charles Ingalls)

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: Retarded Housewife here

                Originally posted by Pastor Ed Lowman View Post
                What your husband does with you is his business, and it is your business to accept and do whatever he asks (I Peter 3:1). We'd like to know who your husband is so that we may counsel him on this matter.

                As for swapping roles, there is no more chance of that than one of us men swapping roles with God Almighty for a week (see Isaiah 42:8). Let's be realistic.

                Pastor Ed
                LOL. I want freedom...
                I can do what i want. Screw you, i could cheat, that's right! I might cheat on my husband!
                DEAL WITH IT!
                He isn't my master, he's just an ordinary person...

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: Retarded Housewife here

                  Originally posted by ILurvJeeesus View Post
                  LOL. I want freedom...
                  I can do what i want. Screw you, i could cheat, that's right! I might cheat on my husband!
                  DEAL WITH IT!
                  He isn't my master, he's just an ordinary person...
                  Hello ILurvJeeesus.

                  You know that would be wrong and Jesus tells us that if you know something is wrong and you do it anyway it is a sin. Since the thing you are doing is already a sin then that is like two sins which sounds like a bargain but it is not look at James 4:17 it says:

                  Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

                  Just in case you do not know adultery is a sin I am telling you that adultery is a sin so now you do not have an excuse.

                  Thank you.

                  Rusty
                  Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: Retarded Housewife here

                    Originally posted by Russell Holbeck View Post
                    Hello ILurvJeeesus.

                    You know that would be wrong and Jesus tells us that if you know something is wrong and you do it anyway it is a sin. Since the thing you are doing is already a sin then that is like two sins which sounds like a bargain but it is not look at James 4:17 it says:

                    Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.

                    Just in case you do not know adultery is a sin I am telling you that adultery is a sin so now you do not have an excuse.

                    Thank you.

                    Rusty
                    Jesus and God aren't my parents. I can do what i want...

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: Retarded Housewife here

                      Originally posted by ILurvJeeesus View Post
                      Jesus and God aren't my parents. I can do what i want...
                      Congratulations. You have officially pissed in Jesus' face...

                      I Cor. 6:18-20
                      18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
                      19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
                      20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

                      Enjoy Hell.

                      Pastor Ed

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: Retarded Housewife here

                        Originally posted by ILurvJeeesus View Post
                        Jesus and God aren't my parents. I can do what i want...
                        Hello ILurvJeeesus.

                        I do not think you have read the Bible or maybe you forgot this part I forget a lot of things there was an accident and brain surgery and a Grand Jury it is a long story look at Matthew 23:9 it says:

                        And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.

                        If you forget where things are in the Bible you can use Post-It notes they are small pieces of paper with glue on them but they do not damage your Bible they have many different colors I can send you some if you do not have any money.

                        Thank you.

                        Rusty
                        Psalms 116:6 The LORD preserveth the simple: I was brought low, and he helped me.

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: Retarded Housewife here

                          Originally posted by ILurvJeeesus View Post
                          Jesus and God aren't my parents. I can do what i want...
                          Translation: I am a spotty 12-year-old youth pretending to be a married woman.

                          Psalm 31:18 Let the lying lips be put to silence; which speak grievous things proudly and contemptuously against the righteous.
                          2 Timothy 3:16

                          All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:


                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: Retarded Housewife here

                            Originally posted by ILurvJeeesus View Post
                            Jesus and God aren't my parents. I can do what i want...
                            Of course you can do what ever you want. That is a gift Jesus gave everyone. It is called 'Free Will'. However, why you want to go to Hell makes no sense, all so you can be a whore.
                            Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                            Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                            Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                            Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                            Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                            Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: Retarded Housewife here

                              Originally posted by James Hutchins View Post
                              Of course you can do what ever you want. That is a gift Jesus gave everyone. It is called 'Free Will'. However, why you want to go to Hell makes no sense, all so you can be a whore.
                              I won't go to hell, i haven't seen it, therefore it doesn't exist.

                              Whoever wrote the bible must have been on a really good trip.

                              Comment

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