My introduction. Praise Jesus!

[Jesussaysslipnotsucks]

Where do I begin,
I was raised in a supposed christian home, that was really rather heathen.
I accepted Jesus at a young age but I fell into evilness in my very early teens. I'm not really sure if I was ever a christian and I'm certain I was never a True Christian. But now, in my later teens. I'd like to find Jesus. It all seems to lovely. I'm unsure as to rather there is hope for me though. Especially given that the fact that I am STILL unmarried at such an elderly age
Anyways, Thanks for reading this and its wonderful to be able to post here, Among God's people.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

Where do I begin,

I was raised in a supposed christian home, that was really rather heathen.

Were your parents dirty pot-smoking hippies? My heart goes out to you!

I accepted Jesus at a young age but I fell into evilness in my very early teens. I'm not really sure if I was ever a christian and I'm certain I was never a True Christian ...

If you're not sure, then your salvation is in question! For it is written ...

Acts 8:12 But when they believed Philip preaching the things concerning the kingdom of God, and the name of Jesus Christ, they were baptized, both men and women.

Acts 8:13 Then Simon himself believed also: and when he was baptized, he continued with Philip, and wondered, beholding the miracles and signs which were done.

As you can see, in verse 12 it says men and women were baptized, but there is no mention of children! You were too young, not yet of the age of accountability!

Acts 8:36 And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized?

Acts 8:37 And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God ...

But now, in my later teens, I'd like to find Jesus. It all seems to lovely. I'm unsure as to rather there is hope for me though ...

When you do reach the age of accountability and become a woman, you may then choose JESUS for yourself, and get SAVED!

Especially given that the fact that I am STILL unmarried at such an elderly age!

But now, just hold on a minute! if you have come here to Landover only to look for a boyfriend, then I warn you that this is not a dating forum, missy! We take the business of the LORD very seriously indeed! You will have come here for the wrong reasons, so be mindful of that!

Anyways, Thanks for reading this and its wonderful to be able to post here, Among God's people ...

You are welcome, dear! Shall we pray? Grimly, Sister Noddy

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

I'd like to hear a more detailed list of the perversions and other filthy sins that you've wallowed in. We've heard it all, son, and so has Jesus, so don't be shy.

[Jesussaysslipnotsucks]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

But now, just hold on a minute! if you have come here to Landover only to look for a boyfriend, then I warn you that this is not a dating forum, missy! We take the business of the LORD very seriously indeed! You will have come here for the wrong reasons, so be mindful of that!

Oh no sister that isnt why I came here at all. I cam here looking for spiritual guidance and Godly role models. Please dont doubt my motives.
It just becomes depressing when one is an old maid

I'd like to hear a more detailed list of the perversions and other filthy sins that you've wallowed in. We've heard it all, son, and so has Jesus, so don't be shy.

I think I need a more girly name, I'm a daughter, not a son. But, I fear that listing my perversion would get me banned from Jesus's favorite forum.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

Where do I begin,
I was raised in a supposed christian home, that was really rather heathen.
I accepted Jesus at a young age but I fell into evilness in my very early teens. I'm not really sure if I was ever a christian and I'm certain I was never a True Christian. But now, in my later teens. I'd like to find Jesus. It all seems to lovely. I'm unsure as to rather there is hope for me though. Especially given that the fact that I am STILL unmarried at such an elderly age
Anyways, Thanks for reading this and its wonderful to be able to post here, Among God's people.

Jesus is easy to find. He's hiding in your local Catholic church behind the priest up on the wall on a cross. Simply confess your sins to your priest in a litlle room (how old are you exactly, you may want someone to know where you are). Then ask Mother Mary to pray for you, and bang! You're a Catholic! A billion strong, we must be doing something right.

[Brother Enoch]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

Oh no sister that isnt why I came here at all. I cam here looking for spiritual guidance and Godly role models. Please dont doubt my motives.
It just becomes depressing when one is an old maid


I think I need a more girly name, I'm a daughter, not a son. But, I fear that listing my perversion would get me banned from Jesus's favorite forum.

Ah, did not realize you were a chick. No need to let someone know you're in the little room with the priest.

[Jesussaysslipnotsucks]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

Ah, did not realize you were a chick. No need to let someone know you're in the little room with the priest.

Yes, I'm fairly certain I'd be safe with a priest. Now the nuns around here

[Brother Enoch]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

Yes, I'm fairly certain I'd be safe with a priest. Now the nuns around here

My Dad tells me (he went to Catholic school in the 50s) that oner or two of them had anger issues.

They were just upset they weren't men of course. God has denied them the role of priest. Rightly so, since it was they who were decieved not adam. Adam just did what Eve said cause he didn't want to sleep on the couch.

[Ahimaaz Smith]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

I accepted Jesus at a young age but I fell into evilness in my very early teens. I'm not really sure if I was ever a christian and I'm certain I was never a True Christian.

You could not have accepted Jesus since, once you are a Christian, you cannot sin:

Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him... Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. 1 John 3:6-9

But now, in my later teens. I'd like to find Jesus. It all seems to lovely. I'm unsure as to rather there is hope for me though.

Praise God! It is not too late for you, provided, of course, that you have never blasphemed the Holy Ghost. That is the only unforgivable sin.

Especially given that the fact that I am STILL unmarried at such an elderly age.

Here's what the Apostle Paul said:

But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none... 1 Corinthians 7:28-29.

So why bother with marriage, when the End of Times is almost upon us?

[Jesussaysslipnotsucks]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

My Dad tells me (he went to Catholic school in the 50s) that oner or two of them had anger issues.

Ours just get drunk, oh for the love of the bible belt.

So why bother with marriage, when the End of Times is almost upon us?

so true, but isnt it better to marry than to burn?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

I think I need a more girly name, I'm a daughter, not a son. But, I fear that listing my perversion would get me banned from Jesus's favorite forum.

Refusing a Pastor's direct order is more likely to get you banned than anything else.

[Jesussaysslipnotsucks]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

Refusing a Pastor's direct order is more likely to get you banned than anything else.

I wasnt attempting to disobey Pastor. I am simply not proud of my heathenistic actions.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

I wasnt attempting to disobey Pastor. I am simply not proud of my heathenistic actions.

Of course not. Jesus has given you the gift of self-revulsion. That's the first step on the Path to Righteousness©.

Go ahead and get it out of your system. You'll feel better. Tell us all of the degeneracy you've been involved in. Nothing shocks us. Start at the beginning.

[Jesussaysslipnotsucks]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

I fear a banning honestly. I can not see how a holy God, and his people, on this, his favorite forum could possibley ever forgive me.
I was involved in all manner of (straight, i am not homo. at all) sexual immorality, much of which i do not even remember due to the drug induced stooper I spent my life in I'm doing better, but I do not think i can do it alone.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: My introduction. Praise Jesus!

I fear a banning honestly. I can not see how a holy God, and his people, on this, his favorite forum could possibley ever forgive me.
I was involved in all manner of (straight, i am not homo. at all) sexual immorality, much of which i do not even remember due to the drug induced stooper I spent my life in I'm doing better, but I do not think i can do it alone.

We never ban people for telling the truth™. Trolls get banned for spamming our forum. Your heart is pure, so you aren't about to get banned.

I can well understand the awe you must feel when facing True Christianity for the first time. No doubt others have lied and deceived you by claiming to be "Christian" when in fact they were nothing but liberals in Christian clothing.

We are just as we appear; dedicated purely to following the Holy KJV1611 Bible word for word, worshiping God properly, and extending our hand to those who sincerely want to repent. No tricks up our sleeves, only Jesus.

If you feel shy about discussing your vile sin in public, feel free to contact me privately by clicking on the link at the bottom of my signature. Confidentiality is assured. You'll feel better about yourself once you are washed clean in Jesus' Blood.