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  • Mary Etheldreda
    Gushing for Jesus
     
    • Sep 2011
    • 23775
    #16
    Re: I am a StrangeTroll

    Originally posted by StrangeTroll View Post
    How is using a snowboarding term depraved? You sent me a cartoon of a naked woman with confusing statements of platonic love described lustfully. You even compared Jesus to Fabio... a male model. Seems like you're projecting your own insecurities and really weird sexual Jesus feelings on me.
    No dear, that was me who shared with you the impulse one might feel at thinking of Jesus as a strong, dependable man. But He's not just a man, He's also God, so you have to think of His strength and dependability in a nonsexual way. Your sexual attraction to Jesus is a sin that He can forgive, but you must acknowledge it.

    You can talk to any pastor in this thread, or follow the email link at the bottom of any page.

    Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

      Comment

      • Didymus Much
        Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
        • Jun 2010
        • 14079
        #17
        Re: I am a StrangeTroll

        Originally posted by StrangeTroll View Post
        ...Where is the Pastor located again?...
        At the other end of the "Send email to the Senior Pastor" button every page here.

        ...Im having trouble finding the Landover Baptist Church's address...
        Look up. Look waaaaaay up. www.landoverbaptist.net yeah.

        ...I wouldn't try to become a detective by the way...
        Good to hear. Lawn and garden maintenance can be a rewarding career, I've heard.

          Comment

          • StrangeTroll
            Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
            • Nov 2013
            • 12
            #18
            Re: I am a StrangeTroll

            Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
            No dear, that was me who shared with you the impulse one might feel at thinking of Jesus as a strong, dependable man. But He's not just a man, He's also God, so you have to think of His strength and dependability in a nonsexual way. Your sexual attraction to Jesus is a sin that He can forgive, but you must acknowledge it.

            You can talk to any pastor in this thread, or follow the email link at the bottom of any page.

            I appreciate your genuineness. However, not only did you share this weird "impulse" you actually shared the whole idea of it. I would consider this more of a psychological condition that YOU HAVE which in turn creates impulses FOR YOU. You people are as loud as you are ignorant.
            Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
            abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

              Comment

              • StrangeTroll
                Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
                • Nov 2013
                • 12
                #19
                Re: I am a StrangeTroll

                That emoji in my status is tight thats what I look like at widespread panic shows
                Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                  Comment

                  • Mark L. Snyde, PhD
                    True Christian™
                    True Christian™
                    • Nov 2013
                    • 1284
                    #20
                    Re: I am a StrangeTroll

                    Originally posted by StrangeTroll View Post
                    How is using a snowboarding term depraved? You sent me a cartoon of a naked woman with confusing statements of platonic love described lustfully. You even compared Jesus to Fabio... a male model. Seems like you're projecting your own insecurities and really weird sexual Jesus feelings on me.

                    I wouldn't try to become a detective by the way, or enter any spelling bees for that matter.

                    Where is the Pastor located again?
                    You seem truly confused. I think I'll wait until you come down from the effects of the drugs you are on, and then maybe we can make some progress with you.

                    1 Peter 4:7 - But the end of all things is at hand: be ye therefore sober, and watch unto prayer.

                    Ephesians 5:18 - And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

                    Titus 2:6 - Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded.
                    sigpic

                    I Kings 7:23

                    And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.

                    New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?

                    Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.

                    Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.

                    Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!

                      Comment

                      • StrangeTroll
                        Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
                        • Nov 2013
                        • 12
                        #21
                        Re: I am a StrangeTroll

                        Originally posted by Didymus Much View Post
                        At the other end of the "Send email to the Senior Pastor" button every page here.



                        Look up. Look waaaaaay up. www.landoverbaptist.net yeah.



                        Good to hear. Lawn and garden maintenance can be a rewarding career, I've heard.
                        You took my third quote way out of context. Two out of three is not bad though.
                        Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                        abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                          Comment

                          • Zechariah Smyth
                            Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                            True Christian™
                            • Feb 2011
                            • 15251
                            #22
                            Re: I am a StrangeTroll

                            Originally posted by StrangeTroll View Post
                            You took my third quote way out of context. Two out of three is not bad though.
                            Don't waste your breath on him: he's just another Jesus-hater like you.
                            sigpic

                              Comment

                              • StrangeTroll
                                Unsaved Trash, degenerate godmocker
                                • Nov 2013
                                • 12
                                #23
                                Re: I am a StrangeTroll

                                Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                                Don't waste your breath on him: he's just another Jesus-hater like you.
                                I should be honored by my name change though right?
                                Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
                                abominable works, there is none that doeth good.

                                  Comment

                                  • Zechariah Smyth
                                    Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                                    True Christian™
                                    • Feb 2011
                                    • 15251
                                    #24
                                    Re: I am a StrangeTroll

                                    Originally posted by StrangeTroll View Post
                                    I should be honored by my name change though right?
                                    (Proverbs 22:1) "A good name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold"

                                    sigpic

                                      Comment

                                      • Pastor Ed Lowman
                                        Southern Hospitality Exemplified
                                        Always kind and loving
                                        True Christian™
                                        • Sep 2011
                                        • 1838
                                        #25
                                        Re: I am a StrangeTroll

                                        Originally posted by StrangeTroll View Post
                                        How is using a snowboarding term depraved? You sent me a cartoon of a naked woman with confusing statements of platonic love described lustfully. You even compared Jesus to Fabio... a male model. Seems like you're projecting your own insecurities and really weird sexual Jesus feelings on me.

                                        I wouldn't try to become a detective by the way, or enter any spelling bees for that matter.

                                        Where is the Pastor located again?
                                        The only confusion here is in your carnal mind...

                                        6For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. 7Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. 8So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. (Romans 8:6-8)

                                        If you're not here to share the good news or else learn about Jesus, then please click that red "x" at the top of your screen and be about the devil's business elsewhere.

                                        Pastor Ed

                                          Comment

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