Praise His Name!

[Persecuted Craig]

Hello Brothers and Sisters

First let me say Praise God!

My name is Craig and I'm an ex-Seventh Day Adventist searching for a place among the few Godly people left on this planet. I've been wearing apparel from LBC for sometime (letting the heathens know that 'Jesus is watching them masturbate' and representing as an unofficial member of the Book-Burning Club), but felt, as an SDA, I should keep my distance.

I have renounced the veggie-oriented ways of SDA and wish to be reborn an actual Christian. I want to be saved!!!!

My former church was the Seventh Day Adventist Church of People of God of Marion, NC in Marion, NC. Or SDACPGMNC, for short.

Favorite bible (KJV) verse: "Praise ye the Lord for the avenging of Israel, when the people willingly offered themselves" -- Judges 5:5 (Should I be concerned that these words where spoken by Barak?)

A lover of Christ,
Craig

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Re: Praise His Name!

Hello Brothers and Sisters

First let me say Praise God!

My name is Craig and I'm an ex-Seventh Day Adventist searching for a place among the few Godly people left on this planet. I've been wearing apparel from LBC for sometime (letting the heathens know that 'Jesus is watching them masturbate' and representing as an unofficial member of the Book-Burning Club), but felt, as an SDA, I should keep my distance.

I have renounced the veggie-oriented ways of SDA and wish to be reborn an actual Christian. I want to be saved!!!!

My former church was the Seventh Day Adventist Church of People of God of Marion, NC in Marion, NC. Or SDACPGMNC, for short.

Favorite bible (KJV) verse: "Praise ye the Lord for the avenging of Israel, when the people willingly offered themselves" -- Judges 5:5 (Should I be concerned that these words where spoken by Barak?)

A lover of Christ,
Craig

Welcome, Craig:

Praise God that He has brought you to us. We welcome you cautiously in His name. Having a bit of familiarity with the SDACPGMNC, I was curious whether you were ever involved with their After Saturday Service With Indigent, Poor Exiles? I think they had T-shirts that said SDACPGMNC-ASSWIPE. I was so impressed by them, because they took such good care of the indigent in Marion. My father's Navy buddy lives there and left the Seventh Day Adventists when he found Jesus as his Savior.

So, what led you to us, Craig? What about Jesus and His excellent temporary death makes every part of your skin raise with delicious anticipation for his coming? Have you a wife? Has she borne you sons? What do you see as your primary contribution to our friendly forums?

Praise the Lord (again) and WELCOME.
NRL

[Zechariah Smyth]

Re: Praise His Name!

I'm sure you meant Judges 5:2, right?



Anyway, you are here in the nick of time: Jesus could drop a slot machine on your head at any moment, so getting started on the Path to Righteousness is time critical.

Speaking of critical: how many sons has your wife birthed for God's Army?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Praise His Name!

Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum. It sounds like Jesus sent you here in the nick of time.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Praise His Name!

Praise JESUS! Another soul snatched from the clutches of SDACPGMNC!

\0/

Are you married, friend? What is your wife's culinary specialty?

[IreneS]

Re: Praise His Name!

I'm very pleased to see that you've given up those dreadful vegetarian habits
What are your favourite meats? I much prefer a nice piece of steak to a skinny sausage, any day. But maybe you're a sausage man. Bacon for breakfast though. But nothing beats a nice piece of tender sweet lamb. Which brings to me Naomi

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Re: Praise His Name!

Hello Brothers and Sisters

First let me say Praise God!

My name is Craig and I'm an ex-Seventh Day Adventist searching for a place among the few Godly people left on this planet. I've been wearing apparel from LBC for sometime (letting the heathens know that 'Jesus is watching them masturbate' and representing as an unofficial member of the Book-Burning Club), but felt, as an SDA, I should keep my distance.

I have renounced the veggie-oriented ways of SDA and wish to be reborn an actual Christian. I want to be saved!!!!

My former church was the Seventh Day Adventist Church of People of God of Marion, NC in Marion, NC. Or SDACPGMNC, for short.

Favorite bible (KJV) verse: "Praise ye the Lord for the avenging of Israel, when the people willingly offered themselves" -- Judges 5:5 (Should I be concerned that these words where spoken by Barak?)

A lover of Christ,
Craig

Welcome, friend and fellow southerner.



Seeing that you have passed the investigatory process so quickly tells me you are surely a friend of God and LBC. Yee-Hawwww and Hallelujah!

I look forward to seeing your contributions to our community, and trust that you will be expertly guided to salvation by the True Christians(tm) here.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Praise His Name!

Hello Brothers and Sisters

First let me say Praise God!

My name is Craig and I'm an ex-Seventh Day Adventist searching for a place among the few Godly people left on this planet. I've been wearing apparel from LBC for sometime (letting the heathens know that 'Jesus is watching them masturbate' and representing as an unofficial member of the Book-Burning Club), but felt, as an SDA, I should keep my distance.

I have renounced the veggie-oriented ways of SDA and wish to be reborn an actual Christian. I want to be saved!!!!

My former church was the Seventh Day Adventist Church of People of God of Marion, NC in Marion, NC. Or SDACPGMNC, for short.

Favorite bible (KJV) verse: "Praise ye the Lord for the avenging of Israel, when the people willingly offered themselves" -- Judges 5:5 (Should I be concerned that these words where spoken by Barak?)

A lover of Christ,
Craig

Welcome, Craig.

Jesus smiles at your arrival. Abstaining from pork certainly doesn't make Jesus happy (Colossians 2:20-23), but it seems you understand that fact now and are thus on the right Path to Salvation™, the one that few find (Matthew 7:13-14).

I look forward to reading your posts.

Warm regards,

Pastor Ed

[Persecuted Craig]

Re: Praise His Name!

Welcome, Craig:

Praise God that He has brought you to us. We welcome you cautiously in His name. Having a bit of familiarity with the SDACPGMNC, I was curious whether you were ever involved with their After Saturday Service With Indigent, Poor Exiles? I think they had T-shirts that said SDACPGMNC-ASSWIPE. I was so impressed by them, because they took such good care of the indigent in Marion. My father's Navy buddy lives there and left the Seventh Day Adventists when he found Jesus as his Savior.

So, what led you to us, Craig? What about Jesus and His excellent temporary death makes every part of your skin raise with delicious anticipation for his coming? Have you a wife? Has she borne you sons? What do you see as your primary contribution to our friendly forums?

Praise the Lord (again) and WELCOME.
NRL

Surely God is Great, Naomi. There is none greater than Him!

I'm glad you asked about the work done with the ASSWIPEs. My wife worked with the indigents (Bless their clueless hearts), but my focus was on the study of God's people during the Antediluvian age, before the Great Flood, of course.

My wife, Jenny, is a wonderfully subordinate women of God, but has been less capable of breaking free of the SDA trappings and extravagances (Partly because of her less subordinate sister, Pearl). She refuses to see the peril of worshiping our Lord on Saturday instead of Sunday. I fear for her soul terribly.

That being said, she has brought forth six sons and four daughters from her fertile womb. Praise Jesus!

Now, about my good works. Jesus has called on me to be a Christian Scientist in His name. As I said, my work focused on the age before the Great Flood and in the study of the Great Flood 4500 years past. I'll search the forum to see if there is already an Antediluvian thread and begin one if there isn't.

I would write more, but in my experience women lose focus quickly. I'm sure you have children to attend to, as well.

Praise be to God and Blessing be upon you.

Persecuted Craig

[Persecuted Craig]

Re: Praise His Name!

I'm sure you meant Judges 5:2, right?



Anyway, you are here in the nick of time: Jesus could drop a slot machine on your head at any moment, so getting started on the Path to Righteousness is time critical.

Speaking of critical: how many sons has your wife birthed for God's Army?

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

You are correct, Brother Zechariah. Judges 5:5 is also often on my mind, as it reminds me of my mountain home and God's powerful wrath.

"The mountains melted from before the Lord, even that Sinai from before the Lord God of Israel" -- Judges 5:5

I have already punished myself terribly for misquoting our Lord and Savior!!

Thank you for your message regarding the urgency of the times we live and the perils we all face without His mercy.

Holding hands with Christ,
Persecuted Craig

[Persecuted Craig]

Re: Praise His Name!

Praise Jesus and welcome to God's favorite forum. It sounds like Jesus sent you here in the nick of time.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

Blessing be upon you and yours, Good Pastor.

I only wish to walk in the way of His teachings and bring Glory to His name by bearing the burden of persecution that we Christians are forced to endure in this land of evil and un-God-liness!

Christ is in me,
Persecuted Craig

[Persecuted Craig]

Re: Praise His Name!

Praise JESUS! Another soul snatched from the clutches of SDACPGMNC!

\0/

Are you married, friend? What is your wife's culinary specialty?

Glory in the Highest, Blessings be His Name!

As you say, Sister, Jesus has shown me mercy by opening mine eyes to the perils of the false church of SDACPGMNC. My otherwise obedient wife has been resistant to turning toward the Light of the World (I blame her sister, Pearl). Jesus Saves!!

As you likely know, SDAs refuse to eat flesh as Jesus desires us to.

This being the case, my wife, though she has borne me many sons, will not allow meat or bone to pass her lips. I seek the council of elders on this matter and intend to search the sermons and forums to find guidance that will allow me to please Him.

Currently, I must supplement my diet with Chik-fil-a and Cracker Barrel 15 to 20 times per week.

Christ is finger-licking good.

Persecuted Craig

[Persecuted Craig]

Re: Praise His Name!

I'm very pleased to see that you've given up those dreadful vegetarian habits
What are your favourite meats? I much prefer a nice piece of steak to a skinny sausage, any day. But maybe you're a sausage man. Bacon for breakfast though. But nothing beats a nice piece of tender sweet lamb. Which brings to me Naomi

God Bless you, Sister!

Favorite meats? After decade upon decade of eating veggies made to look like meat, I enjoy putting any meat in my mouth if it pleases the Lord. Chik-fil-a chicken nuggets and pigs feet have been pleasing me and the Lord, lately.

Praise Jesus in all things, especially delicious meat.

Persecuted Craig

[Persecuted Craig]

Re: Praise His Name!

Welcome, friend and fellow southerner.



Seeing that you have passed the investigatory process so quickly tells me you are surely a friend of God and LBC. Yee-Hawwww and Hallelujah!

I look forward to seeing your contributions to our community, and trust that you will be expertly guided to salvation by the True Christians™ here.

Thank you for the warm words, Brother.

I credit my quick acceptance into God's favorite forum as a sign that Jesus is finally going to reward me for the years of persecution that I've suffered at the hands of these heathens who've consistently refused to accept the Word of God, no matter how loudly I yell at them while they claim to be going about their "business" (ie un-God-ly works)!!!!

Truly the South is God's Country. The Faithful in this region surely know that Jesus doesn't like a bunch of smarty-pants, know-it-all types. I see you are a Southen'r with a fancy degree. Please reassure me that you have a PhD in how to really, really love Jesus from one of God's own universities or that you have studied among the un-Holy in order to better understand the Devil's latest tactics?!?! (Apologies and begging forgiveness for I haven't had time to read many of my betters bios yet.)

Southen'rs are best when practicing what I call "blind faithiness." I'm doing research and preparing my findings on this topic with the hope to publish on God's favourite forum (if approved by my betters).

Never allowing the Devil to convince me to think too hard and always loving Jesus for all the right reasons,

Persecuted Craig

[Persecuted Craig]

Re: Praise His Name!

Welcome, Craig.

Jesus smiles at your arrival. Abstaining from pork certainly doesn't make Jesus happy (Colossians 2:20-23), but it seems you understand that fact now and are thus on the right Path to Salvation™, the one that few find (Matthew 7:13-14).

I look forward to reading your posts.

Warm regards,

Pastor Ed

Thank you for the kind and inspiring words, Pastor Ed.

Surely you speak the truest Word! Is it not easier to pass through the narrow passage that "leadeth unto life" if covered in an ample amount of delicious greasy, porky goodness?

Jesus is the way

Persecuted Craig