All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

[DespicableMe]

I am new to this forum and thought I would say hello to you all, my Brethren and Sistern in the Lord.
I am overjoyed to have come upon you all in this forum. The magnetic draw of Sulphur and Brimstone is strong to me once I lay my hands on a device with Internet capibilities. To find a place where I can feel safe from the poison darts of The Enemy is indeed a joy!

My name is D.M. and I am from Northern Ireland, a very misunderstood and peaceful place, full of those who love the Lord.
Unfortunately we have a few here ( an unwashed, unrepentant minority, many of whom have homosexual tendencies ), who would not let go the cassock of The Great Roman Harlot. But with the strength of God and Love in our hearts, there are thankfully still many of us who stand strong to defeat this adversary and bar the door to the Devil.

Although we are all Brethern and Sistern in The Lord, I am curious as to how our Worship differs across the Atlantic. I have heard tales of great men over there who have the power to compel deadly serpents, and to whom no fear is known. I live in awe at the advanced level of Faith that your great nation has developed.
I once managed to hypnotise a chicken, but I'm sure that I would not have been able to do so if I knew the chicken could smite me dead with a flicker of its tongue.
I once saw a picture of the great Billy Graham as well, but it was an old picture, and a piece was missing off the corner, just where his hairline would have been.

Ahhh, the memories.

Yours in Peace
D. M.

[DespicableMe]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Oh Me Oh My,
All fingers and thumbs and no brain!

I really didn't bide by the rules there in my introduction and now you'll all probably ostracise me as a backslider before I even get started.

I attend the Church of The Early Risen Christ in Belfast

and my favourite Scripture Verse is

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be
discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

D.M.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Welcome Mr or Mrs Me. Are you married? How many sons do you have?

[DespicableMe]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Welcome Mr or Mrs Me. Are you married? How many sons do you have?

Thank you Mother Of Seven.
I have one fine son named Daniel, always ready to face the Lions!

I am Mr. Me, excuse me again for my lack of clarity.
Unfortunately Mrs. Me is no longer with us. She isn't dead, well I don't think she is dead. well she IS dead to me and my son.
Well she wasn't really Mrs. Me, so we felt it best to move on and forget the wrongdoings of the past.
Obviously, I kept Daniel Me with Me, so that he would not be corrupted by the wicked ways of his erstwhile mother.

Do you have seven sons? Do any of them have sons? Do you know abour Serpents?

Daniel 6 v24: And the king commanded, and they brought those men which had accused Daniel, and they cast them into the den of lions, them, their children, and their wives; and the lions had the mastery of them, and brake all their bones in pieces or ever they came at the bottom of the den.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

So you're a fornicator? Romans 1:29
Was she a virgin when you lay with her? Deuteronomy 22:28-29 28 qIf a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath rhumbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

If she wasn't a virgin, why wasn't she stoned? Deuteronomy 22:20-21 20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath kwrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: lso shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Why have you not found another woman with whom to bear more sons?

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Do you have seven sons? Do any of them have sons? Do you know abour Serpents?

I have 5 sons and 2 brides of Christ. The eldest is 11.
Serpents? I slay them daily.

[DespicableMe]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

So you're a fornicator? Romans 1:29
Was she a virgin when you lay with her? Deuteronomy 22:28-29 28 qIf a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath rhumbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

If she wasn't a virgin, why wasn't she stoned? Deuteronomy 22:20-21 20 But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: 21 Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath kwrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: lso shalt thou put evil away from among you.

Why have you not found another woman with whom to bear more sons?

Indeed I have a history of sin worthy of Eternal Damnation.
I try to make up for it by doing odd jobs and fighting the Followers of Rome.
I did bring the question of stoning the hussy in question before the Elders at The Church of The Early Risen Christ. Unfortunately, they are weak and falter in following the commandments of the Lord. So I put her in a large burlap sack and rolled her down a large, stony hill outside of the City of Belfast. I think this should have a similar effect.
Only myself and Daniel Me partook in the event, so as not to arouse the suspicions of the Agents of Belfastibub.

I am now on the lookout for a Good Christian subservient virgin woman in whom I might implant my Sonly Seeds. Unfortunately it seems that my Fire for the Lord is mistaken for a serious mental illness by most of the women in my Church.

This is one of the reasons I am now trawling Christian sites across the Atlantic, where I believe the women are a bit less prone to thinking their own wayward thoughts and should have more room for mine.

Am I allowed to leave my phone number or Skype details on here?

Have you thought about having more sons? There may come a day when you need more sons to slay those serpents. or lions.. or whatever other creatures roam your distant lands.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Unfortunately at the age of 46, we've been trying almost daily for a new son, but with no luck. I fear I may be barren
Don't leave any personal contact details on here, or the atheists, heathens and satanists may plague you. The best way is to PM the fathers of potential ladies.
How old is Daniel Me?
There is a lady who is 24 on these forums who fears she is too old to be wed. I won't name her, but will leave it for you to seek out.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Welcome to God's favorite Church forums DM. While we try to follow what's going on the in rest of the world, we sometimes can't really fathom why some things go on when the Truth of the Lord is so plainly evident in the Gospels.

We are vaguely aware that there were conflicts with the Irish in Northern Ireland, but frankly trying to sort it all out became quite complex and the simple conclusion was that if Jesus decided to flush everyone down the toilet of history justice would probably be served. Even in today's context, no one really cares what the Sunni and Shiite mooselimbs do to each other - the world we be a better place if they were both gone - permanently.

We would certainly agree that the Penal Laws established in the 17th Century were a good thing - preventing the spread of the papist false teachings to the Irish population and stamping out of the pagan excesses of the heathen Gaelic culture, but it seems to have had little effect. Even the idea of establishing Northern Ireland to try and keep the peace didn't stop the pugnacious Irish from causing trouble.

At a distance we can admire the Protestants and other reformation movements that attempted to put a stop to the egregious excesses of the papists, but the fact of the matter is that the Baptists were there all along - the One True Church. And we certainly can't say much for the Anglicants - they're just cathylick wannabees.

We're always up for some good three fisted tales of Jesus fighting the heathens, and welcome your stories from afar that they may give us all inspiration.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Indeed I have a history of sin worthy of Eternal Damnation.
I try to make up for it by doing odd jobs and fighting the Followers of Rome.
I did bring the question of stoning the hussy in question before the Elders at The Church of The Early Risen Christ. Unfortunately, they are weak and falter in following the commandments of the Lord. So I put her in a large burlap sack and rolled her down a large, stony hill outside of the City of Belfast. I think this should have a similar effect.
Only myself and Daniel Me partook in the event, so as not to arouse the suspicions of the Agents of Belfastibub.

May the bless your efforts to clean up Europe's gutter.



Any friend of is a friend of mine.

[DespicableMe]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Unfortunately at the age of 46, we've been trying almost daily for a new son, but with no luck. I fear I may be barren
Don't leave any personal contact details on here, or the atheists, heathens and satanists may plague you. The best way is to PM the fathers of potential ladies.
How old is Daniel Me?
There is a lady who is 24 on these forums who fears she is too old to be wed. I won't name her, but will leave it for you to seek out.

Keep Praying MotherofSeven Keep Praying.
Don't forget Sara and her son who was worthy enough to be offered as a PopTart to the Lord. I believe she was 439 years old when she bore Isaac... and look how well that turned out for everyone!

DanielMe is 11. I've started tying his ands behind his back at night and telling hiim its to stop him writing letters to the late MrsMe (slut).
He has developed a peculiar habit of rubbing himself in an unmentionable area... he does this a lot while watching rugby or football on the telly and sometimes at other boys in the street who he seems to be familiar with.
He has assured me that this is a common greeting among the boys at his school so I'll try not to worry. Younguns eh??

DM

PS... I almost missed that little blue sentence at the end of your post. 24 is indeed a bit old for my tastes, and I'd guess most Good Christian Men would agree. Don't ladies start getting a bit.. you know... hairy.. at that age?? I guess if she can cook and clean well and no have too many high flying ideas for herself, she might have a chance of marriage.. perhaps to one of the disabled fellows?
Anyway, never say never, love blossoms in the wildest terrain!

DM

[DespicableMe]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Welcome to God's favorite Church forums DM. While we try to follow what's going on the in rest of the world, we sometimes can't really fathom why some things go on when the Truth of the Lord is so plainly evident in the Gospels.

We are vaguely aware that there were conflicts with the Irish in Northern Ireland, but frankly trying to sort it all out became quite complex and the simple conclusion was that if Jesus decided to flush everyone down the toilet of history justice would probably be served. Even in today's context, no one really cares what the Sunni and Shiite mooselimbs do to each other - the world we be a better place if they were both gone - permanently.

We would certainly agree that the Penal Laws established in the 17th Century were a good thing - preventing the spread of the papist false teachings to the Irish population and stamping out of the pagan excesses of the heathen Gaelic culture, but it seems to have had little effect. Even the idea of establishing Northern Ireland to try and keep the peace didn't stop the pugnacious Irish from causing trouble.

At a distance we can admire the Protestants and other reformation movements that attempted to put a stop to the egregious excesses of the papists, but the fact of the matter is that the Baptists were there all along - the One True Church. And we certainly can't say much for the Anglicants - they're just cathylick wannabees.

We're always up for some good three fisted tales of Jesus fighting the heathens, and welcome your stories from afar that they may give us all inspiration.

Thank you for the warm welcome, Brother. I admire your grasp of the situation here and it warms my heart to hear your words of encouragemen. Indeed the Taigs here have a lot in common with their blood tirsty Mooselimbed brethren in Azeklastan and Kubrickastan etc. Their race to join the devil in his Pit of Fire would almost draw admiration from me.... were I a different kind of man.
Perhaps I will regail you at some point wit some of the tales of our Eleventh Night Bonfires and the game we played as kids called "Burn Down The Whole Fenian Taigy Street".. However I fear there may be eyes and ears on hear not fully committed to the darker side of the Lord's Work.
As you say the Anglicans are as bad, not to mention the PresbyQueerians.
In reality, I'd say Good Christian Men like myself, ready to speed the Errant Sinner to Eternity, probably number only about 0.000001% of our overall population. Many of those good men now pray inside prison walls, rather than prey outside and in times like this I remember the Apostle Paul.

And now I will go and think about that and say a prayer or three for those Few Good Men.

DM

[DespicableMe]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

May the bless your efforts to clean up Europe's gutter.



Any friend of is a friend of mine.

Thank you Thank you Thank you, Sister.

It's so nice to read the words of a REASONABLE woman for a change!

Europe has indeed become a gutter, and the reasons are many, but one of the most noticeable is UNREASONABLE women!!!

I can see the love of Jesus shining from your words, even from the lovely font in which you write.

Are you married?
Are you below the age of 24? (or Are you hairy?)
Do you have a passport?
Can you use a rifle?
What does "gushing" mean?

Perhaps the Lord has sent me here for a reason.

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

When I said my eldest was 11, that's not quite true. My eldest is in fact, 13, but he's in disgrace at present. I caught him in church, looking at a 12 year old girl and passing notes to her! And only a few days later viewing pawnography on the internet! He also spends a lot of time in bed, and insists on washing his own pyjamas and sheets. What sort of man does his own laundry? Tying his hands behind his back in bed sounds a good idea. I've moved his computer into the living room, so that we can see exactly what he's viewing. The parents of the girl he seems interested in now make her wear a paper bag over her head when she goes to church so that he won't have lascivious thoughts. Children!

[Mother Of Seven]

Re: All Other Ground Is Sinking Sand!!

Careful DM. Mr Etheldreda may not be happy with you making advances to his wife! He has a fearful temper!