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  • ObeseLard
    Unsaved trash, mixed race demon
    • Apr 2014
    • 12

    #1

    Greetings, I'm here to talk nonsense

    Hello all, my name is sexydevil.
    I used to be an avid follower of satin, but I turned to the baptist church because I want to know more about god. I am from the Philippines and I hope that you can all teach me the a lot about the lord.
    A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3
  • Mother Of Seven
    True Christian™ with a quiverful
    • Jan 2014
    • 2243

    #2
    Re: Greetings

    What's wrong with satin? I think it's a lovely fabric.


    Comment

    • ObeseLard
      Unsaved trash, mixed race demon
      • Apr 2014
      • 12

      #3
      Re: Greetings

      Meant to write Satan.

      I am a former gang member so worshipping him was pretty much mandatory. I am Black/asian so I hope you can all accept me the way my gang accepted me back then.
      A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

      Comment

      • Mother Of Seven
        True Christian™ with a quiverful
        • Jan 2014
        • 2243

        #4
        Re: Greetings

        Why did you turn to the Baptist church, when nearly everyone in the Philippines is a papist catholic?
        What is your favourite verse from the Bible?
        How can you be black if you're a Filipino? I thought they were all slants.
        Why do you call yourself a 'devil' if you've given up Satan?

        Comment

        • Mary Thompson
          True Christian Lady™, Certified Best Friend of Jesus
          True Christian™
          • Mar 2013
          • 653

          #5
          Re: Greetings

          Originally posted by SexyDevil View Post
          Meant to write Satan.

          I am a former gang member so worshipping him was pretty much mandatory. I am Black/asian so I hope you can all accept me the way my gang accepted me back then.
          Hello darkie I am surprised you managed to find our forum admist your lustous thoughts of watermelons and KFC,
          As you are a descendent of Ham, you are cursed forever (Genesis 9:18) by God and it is almost inevitable that you will go to Hell , how many white women have you stolen pies from and how many white women have you raped?
          Thinking of Abortion?
          That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
          Think of the children. Stop being a slut.

          Comment

          • Cranky Old Man
            Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
            You kids get off his lawn!
             
            • Jan 2010
            • 22362

            #6
            Re: Greetings

            Originally posted by SexyDevil View Post
            I want to know more about god
            Then stop raping American girls and stealing American jobs and start studying your Holy Bible!
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • Faith_Machine
              Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
              True Christian™
              • Mar 2011
              • 10049

              #7
              Re: Greetings

              Hello, my new Filipino gang member friend. Please tell us more about your walk with Jesus!
              WARNING:
              In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
              REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.

              Comment

              • Pastor Ed Lowman
                Southern Hospitality Exemplified
                Always kind and loving
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2011
                • 1838

                #8
                Re: Greetings

                Originally posted by SexyDevil View Post
                Meant to write Satan.

                I am a former gang member so worshipping him was pretty much mandatory. I am Black/asian so I hope you can all accept me the way my gang accepted me back then.
                Friend, you seem to have some kind of predisposition in assuming we are racist or something. Nothing could be further from the truth. We accept all races just like God does--provided they know their place and understand their role in serving the elect, otherwise known as the Sons of Shem and Japheth (see Genesis 9:27; Isaiah 11:9-10). But we want no lip or backtalk.

                This isn't a place for talk of baby mommas, jacking cars, or hitting on white women. And it isn't a place for a bunch of hoodlums with no dads to hang out and flash gang signs.

                So if those things aren't on your agenda and you show legitimate concerns of wanting to learn God's Word and make it a part of your life, then we may just let you stay around. The choice is yours.

                Regards,

                Pastor Ed

                Comment

                • ObeseLard
                  Unsaved trash, mixed race demon
                  • Apr 2014
                  • 12

                  #9
                  Re: Greetings

                  Originally posted by Mary Thompson View Post
                  Hello darkie I am surprised you managed to find our forum admist your lustous thoughts of watermelons and KFC,
                  As you are a descendent of Ham, you are cursed forever (Genesis 9:18) by God and it is almost inevitable that you will go to Hell , how many white women have you stolen pies from and how many white women have you raped?
                  I must admit, i do love my KFC and watermelon, but sir not all black people are addicted to it like i am. I also am not a stealer nor am i a sex offender of any kind.
                  A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

                  Comment

                  • Pastor Ed Lowman
                    Southern Hospitality Exemplified
                    Always kind and loving
                    True Christian™
                    • Sep 2011
                    • 1838

                    #10
                    Re: Greetings

                    Originally posted by SexyDevil View Post
                    I must admit, i do love my KFC and watermelon, but sir not all black people are addicted to it like i am. I also am not a stealer nor am i a sex offender of any kind.
                    Good. Do you have any restraining orders filed against you?

                    Pastor Ed

                    Comment

                    • ObeseLard
                      Unsaved trash, mixed race demon
                      • Apr 2014
                      • 12

                      #11
                      Re: Greetings

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ed Lowman View Post
                      Good. Do you have any restraining orders filed against you?

                      Pastor Ed
                      I am proud to say that I don't, although I have had several people threaten to get one against me.
                      A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

                      Comment

                      • James Hutchins
                        True Christian™
                        Just a Regular Nice Guy
                         
                        • Jun 2009
                        • 29453

                        #12
                        Re: Greetings

                        How many babies have you had that were yours?
                        Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
                        Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
                        Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
                        Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
                        Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
                        Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.

                        Comment

                        • Robert Sanders
                          Unsaved trash
                          • Apr 2014
                          • 94

                          #13
                          Re: Greetings

                          Originally posted by SexyDevil View Post
                          Hello all, my name is sexydevil.
                          I used to be an avid follower of satin, but I turned to the baptist church because I want to know more about god. I am from the Philippines and I hope that you can all teach me the a lot about the lord.
                          If you want to know more
                          about our God, then use a Capital G,
                          when you refer to our God.
                          This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                          Comment

                          • ObeseLard
                            Unsaved trash, mixed race demon
                            • Apr 2014
                            • 12

                            #14
                            Re: Greetings

                            Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
                            Why did you turn to the Baptist church, when nearly everyone in the Philippines is a papist catholic?
                            What is your favourite verse from the Bible?
                            How can you be black if you're a Filipino? I thought they were all slants.
                            Why do you call yourself a 'devil' if you've given up Satan?
                            I never said I had given up Satan. I want to learn more about the god so I can worship them both. Also I am not full Filipino, I am part black and part Filipino. I'm not sure where you heard that all Filipinos are slants but I'm sorry to say that you are wrong.
                            A whip for the horse, a bridle for the ass, and a rod for the fool's back. Proverbs 26:3

                            Comment

                            • Didymus Much
                              Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
                              • Jun 2010
                              • 14076

                              #15
                              Re: Greetings

                              Originally posted by SexyDevil View Post
                              ...I want to learn more about the god so I can worship them both...
                              They'd both hate you if you did that.

                              Comment

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