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  • #16
    Re: Sloan

    I used to live in Australia. I think a learnt a thing or two in the language.
    G'day, mate. Hope ya haven't put some shrimp on the barbe. God's against the shrimp like Hell. And 'ow about those kangas, mate? Breeding n' boxing all over the place. What are ya putting in the you beaut billy bong tonigh', eh? 'Ow many boomers 'ave ya bopped? And 'ave you spotted a bunyip in ya days at Aus.

    Forgive me True Christians. Have you looked in yellow pages for a better Church, Sloan?
    Thinking of Abortion?
    That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
    Think of the children. Stop being a slut.

    Comment

    • #17
      Re: Sloan

      Welcome to God's favorite forum. How many abos do you own?

      If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

      If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

      You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

      Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

      Comment

      • #18
        Re: Sloan

        Originally posted by Sloanp001 View Post
        My marriage ended in divorce, a restraining order, and the judge ordering me to attend an Anger Management Program. I have little time for spare time interests, as my job as a Kangaroo Control Officer is pretty full on. The buggers breed like rabbits!

        Hopefully I can find a decent woman, one who can handle a skinning knife competently, unlike the last incompetent lump I was married to.

        Go well my Brother.
        Hello Sloan, and welcome to our friendly forums! No doubt the LORD had some glorious plan to glorify Himself through your failed marriage, legal battles, and public embarrassment (Isaiah 48:9-11). You seem eager to please Him, and I do hope for your sake He will reward you this side of Heaven, even if just a little bit. Anyway, welcome! Any friend of Jesus is a friend of mine.

        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

        Comment

        • #19
          Re: Sloan

          Originally posted by Mary Thompson View Post
          I used to live in Australia. I think a learnt a thing or two in the language.
          G'day, mate. Hope ya haven't put some shrimp on the barbe. God's against the shrimp like Hell. And 'ow about those kangas, mate? Breeding n' boxing all over the place. What are ya putting in the you beaut billy bong tonigh', eh? 'Ow many boomers 'ave ya bopped? And 'ave you spotted a bunyip in ya days at Aus.

          Forgive me True Christians. Have you looked in yellow pages for a better Church, Sloan?
          Well done Mary, with your language skills you would fit in nicely with our Bogan population. Even so, most Australians would question your manners and education.http://www.landoverbaptist.net/core/...ilies/nono.gif

          The only Churches you will find in the yellow pages are Papist, Charismatic, or Back slid-en Baptists who preach from the New American Standard. The Churches that keep the True Word of God tend not to advertise, but rely on word of mouth. They are also very select in who they let in.

          Cheers.
          Psalm 141:5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
          and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head:
          for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

          Comment

          • #20
            Re: Sloan

            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
            Welcome to God's favorite forum. How many abos do you own?

            If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

            If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

            You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

            Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
            Thank you pastor. No, I most certainly do own any abos, indeed I do not allow these sheep stealing scoundrels onto my property.

            Cheers.
            Psalm 141:5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
            and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head:
            for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

            Comment

            • #21
              Re: Sloan

              Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
              Hello Sloan, and welcome to our friendly forums! No doubt the LORD had some glorious plan to glorify Himself through your failed marriage, legal battles, and public embarrassment (Isaiah 48:9-11). You seem eager to please Him, and I do hope for your sake He will reward you this side of Heaven, even if just a little bit. Anyway, welcome! Any friend of Jesus is a friend of mine.

              Why thank you Mary, I do believe that I am seeing that come to pass. The court house where I was so vilely slandered burned down in mysterious circumstances.
              They are calling it a case of faulty wiring, but you know and I know better.

              Go well my sister.
              Psalm 141:5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
              and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head:
              for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

              Comment

              • #22
                Re: Sloan

                I can see you have a strong will my faithful friend. Never give up hope and keep fighting against non-believers, Victorians, people of different believes and last but not least the kangaroos

                The may be among but this website is a safehaven (except maybe for the jokers coming here only to try infect us with jibberish) for all of us who believe in the Lord Himself and all of His commands.

                Comment

                • #23
                  Re: Sloan

                  Originally posted by LordElohim View Post
                  I can see you have a strong will my faithful friend. Never give up hope and keep fighting against non-believers, Victorians, people of different believes and last but not least the kangaroos

                  The may be among but this website is a safehaven (except maybe for the jokers coming here only to try infect us with jibberish) for all of us who believe in the Lord Himself and all of His commands.
                  I thank you for your words of encouragement my brother, indeed, if the Lord is for us, what chance do ungodly scum have against us?

                  Keep up the good fight friend.
                  Psalm 141:5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
                  and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head:
                  for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

                  Comment

                  • #24
                    Re: Sloan

                    Originally posted by Sloanp001 View Post
                    Well done Mary, with your language skills you would fit in nicely with our Bogan population.
                    They may also question her use of the word 'shrimp'. I believe the correct word is 'prawn'.

                    Comment

                    • #25
                      Re: Sloan

                      Welcome Sloan

                      I will take rough around the edges any day of the week, over the Godless heaths that persecute us on a daily basis!
                      sigpic

                      Charter Member Pearland, Texas

                      Comment

                      • #26
                        Re: Sloan

                        Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
                        They may also question her use of the word 'shrimp'. I believe the correct word is 'prawn'.
                        Thank you for the rebuke, Mother of Seven.
                        For us ladies are so off track to our way to Heaven that we must rely on each other to help us along the way, away from our weak willed mindsets.
                        Thinking of Abortion?
                        That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
                        Think of the children. Stop being a slut.

                        Comment

                        • #27
                          Re: Sloan

                          Hi there Sloan. This is a cool place. There are one or two kooks post here, I'm sure you'll spot tham. The God is so plain in what he tells us, how sheep not of this fold need him too.

                          John 10:16 And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.

                          Last night I read this (I read it most nights)

                          Ezekiel 1:19 And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up.

                          That tells us how sheep not of this fold (Earth) have come here, at least once. You can read it all here http://biblehub.com/kjv/ezekiel/1.htm

                          How cool is that?

                          Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.

                          Comment

                          • #28
                            Re: Sloan

                            Originally posted by Mother Of Seven View Post
                            They may also question her use of the word 'shrimp'. I believe the correct word is 'prawn'.
                            Well spotted Mother of Seven, you obviously did not get your knowledge of Australian-isms from watching Paul Hogan commercials.

                            Have a bonzer day.
                            Psalm 141:5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
                            and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head:
                            for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

                            Comment

                            • #29
                              Re: Sloan

                              Originally posted by TaraAnne View Post
                              Welcome Sloan

                              I will take rough around the edges any day of the week, over the Godless heaths that persecute us on a daily basis!
                              Thank you TaraAnn, those Godless heathens who mock you, mock the Lord who redeemed you. Their place in Hell is well deserved.

                              Bless you.
                              Psalm 141:5 Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness:
                              and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head:
                              for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities.

                              Comment

                              • #30
                                Re: Sloan

                                Hello Sloan,

                                Any word on that plane yet? It looks like God is continuing his retribution on the ornamentals.

                                Hundreds still missing in South Korean ferry disaster
                                http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-04-17/an-south-korea-ferry-update/5396210
                                Rescuers are still hammering on the upturned hull of a capsized South Korean ferry hoping for a response from hundreds of people, mostly teenage schoolchildren, who are believed to be trapped after the vessel started sinking more than 24 hours ago. Nine people have been confirmed dead and 290 are still missing. The ferry sank about 20 kilometres off the south-west coast of South Korea yesterday with more than 460 passengers and crew on board. More than 170 have been rescued. The South Korean Coast Guard says the vessel veered off its course and into an area of shallow reefs and strong underwater currents.


                                Maybe they will finally take notice and get on their knees..

                                Thessalonians 1:8 In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ.

                                I know it is a half a world away but I'm staying away from Chinese buffets for a while anyway.

                                You may want to do the same.

                                Happy Hosanna!

                                Fred
                                "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

                                "But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)

                                Comment

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