[Danielle Faith]

Re: Hi!

I sure hope that's the only thing you're going to "help" with

What is that supposed to mean?

[Mary Thompson]

Re: Hi!

What is that supposed to mean?

You sound like a lezbo. I'm trying to protect her from your pervert advances.

[Pastor Ed Lowman]

Re: Hi!

So, have you gone through your home and gotten rid of all unhealthy foods? That is a good first start. Next, it may be wise to consider a good liposuctionist (be sure this is an industrial strength vacuum so you don't have to strain as they suck out the excess). Join a gym.

By the way - it isn't enough to just join, you also have to GO IN. You need to use the various equipment. Leave the Ding Dongs, Ho-Ho's and Twinkies behind. Donate them to a homeless shelter. If you have as many as I suspect, you could have a garage sale to get rid of them. (You will have to get out of bed for this)

I believe in you, Piggles! Don't give up. Soon even God will be able to look at you without gasping.

Good advice. I have found out from others that a good chainsaw modded with little more than a hose and a bucket can suck the fat right out. An industrial strength vacuum cleaner would also work for her, too, assuming the power in her double-wide hasn't yet been shut off for non-payment.

Pastor Ed