Dear Fellow Believers

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

I am 50-yrs old heterosexual male from Finland. I know you might find it strange to underscore that, but here in Finland is going on a strong homosation and nowadays you have to be very careful whom to talk or touch. It has even influenced in my hobby, the most manly sports, wrestling.

I am a true believer, was born to be and my father who is a real believer made us (I have 7 brothers, 4 alive) very clear that our family is a christian family. Bless him! He lives 40 km:s from my home with his 4th wife, is now 90 yrs old, but still we pray together many times a week.

In Finland it is hard to find a church where to visit. Female priests who try to seduce you to wrong path are everywhere. So - we have our own bible study circles where we pray and study the Holy Word of God.

My favorite bible verses are from Paul's first letter to Timothy, Chapter 2. There is a great order for this mankind.

[Levi Jones]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Praise God. I assume your favorite part of 1 Timothy 2 is where the Apostle tells women to be quiet?

That's one of our favorites too.

I like wrestling as well. I think you'll fit in nicely. I hope to get to have a go at wrestling with you someday. I would like to see who would pin whom.

I hope all your father's ex-wives are dead. We don't take kindly to divorcees around here.

That was a great introduction. Well done.

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Dear Mr with an impossible name,

A cautious welcome. I understand that life for a man wishing to become a Christian must be extremely hard in your country. I greet you this once with your godless flag, let it be thereafter forgotten for ever.

I do understand that a man should respect his father but have you ever noticed that the strange name you father chose to you becomes an alarming message if you do an anagrammatical study on it as follows (Ladies please DO NOT LOOK AT THE RESULT, IT IS MOST UNSUITABLE!):


MARKOLOIMAANAHO -> A-A-ANAL HOMO RIM OK!!


I would still reconsider if the spiritual state of your father is acceptable (in addition to the divorces) as he has placed such a burden on you in the form of your name! Of course, it’s your choice to free yourself of the sodomaniacal tendencies you name indicates. You can choose Jesus!

Still, a cautious welcome. I’ve personally only received kindness and considerate, patient mentoring from True Christians. If you concentrate on learning and not on expressing opinions not based on scripture, you just might be on your path to JESUS. I hope you discard the Finlandstanian way of mandatory nudity and your saunas. Is it true that in addition to constant sodomy between men, also women engage in mutual fornication when they frequent these outposts of Hell? I also hope you read carefully earlier threads regarding your unfortunate country. Hope to have stimulating exchange with you here on God’s Favorite Forum on the Interwebs


Does Genesis 30:8 refer to your manly hobby?

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

At first I have to apologize my imperfect english. That is partly because we are forced at school learn the westdevilish language of swedes. I curse their country, language and their red-yellow flag to lowest

Some moomins live also here, in Finland, quite near to where I live. I and my sons (4) are ready all the time

My fault is, that I did not give a well-enough explanation for my fathers marriages. A good christian should always tell everything CLEAR and full of TRUTH.
My father married first time in year 1942, his wife was a beautiful longhaired brunette called Tyyne. December same year my oldest brother was born, and in august 1943 the second one. Unfortunately they all were in Helsinki february 1944 and died in communist Soviet bombings.
The second marriage was april 1944. My father was wounded to his toes on the battlefront in Lapland (against Nazis), he was sent to soldier hospital, where he married a humble nurse who gave my father third son january 1945. With that nice woman he made 2 more sons but the lady died in childbirth year 1950.
My father had hard times and he had to leave his boys to live with his parents and go to the north to do logging work. That was hard work where hard men lived months together in small cottages in the deep forest.
Father moved back to Laihia year 1958, when his father died after a quarrel he had with a lousy devilish neighbour. Father married again 1959, my mother, and the next sons were born 1960 and 1962. And then me, 1964. However, after years of trying and trying my mother became very depressed because she had come incapable of giving birth any more. She went away to wait the judgement day year 1970.
My father married a new one, his fourth wife 1970, but they have got any children. Real bad luck for my father, he has tried and tried, but there has to be something wrong with that woman.

To Mr. White I have to answer that his (i am sure very wise) anagrammatical study goes just over my understanding. I have to make my english better to be able into a proper discussion with True Christians, i notice it now. I understood the H-word, and some doubts against my father, but I can convince you that my father has nothing to do with that kind of scum. He is a real straight man.

I know what you think about the Sauna-culture we have, and all that is right! You have to be very careful. For exemple in finnish swimming-halls there are all the time gays sitting in saunas and trying to touch you when you go to shower. Every day some of them slip on the soap and hurt theirselves.

I personally have never went to sauna with a woman. Always with daddy and brothers, or my own sons. Of course my wife sometimes visits there to wash our backs but she is ordered to keep her clothes on.

Praise the Lord God Almighty!

[Morton Weinstein]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Marko,

It is a shame that you were born in a land that is headed for Hell. Had your parents been completely pleasing to God, you would have found yourself an American, which is the only nation on earth (besides Israel) that God loves. (Fox News, any day, any time)

I wonder if it would be possible for you to move your family to the USA so that you can escape the flames of punishment the majority of Finns will endure forever due to their innate sinful ways. I do not recommend San Francisco or New York City or anywhere in the state of Oklahoma. I would also avoid any state that has legalized homo marriage or civil unions. Those states are probably the targets of lightning from Heaven one day soon.

I am Jewish but even as a stinking Jew, I know that your fate is sealed if you do not allow the fine people of this forum to show you the way of Salvation(R). I hope that one day I will find that Messiah has already come and that I can be forgiven for killing Him. Who knows?

Still, I think being a Finn might be worse. I wish you luck in your journey to Glory.

Your handsome young brother in the Lord,
Morton

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

In Finland it is hard to find a church where to visit. Female priests who try to seduce you to wrong path are everywhere. So - we have our own bible study circles where we pray and study the Holy Word of God.

Mr Aho, thank you for you commendable effort to answer our questions. You should know that we've had lots of hostile Scandinaniacs posting here lately, and one becomes perhaps too cautious.

Regarding your problem with finding a Church (mentioned above). What denomination do you belong to? Hope its not the cat lick demonization or the North European Loot her an*s! Probably not cat licks as you seem to be (for good reason) worried about Satanic female ordination. Furthermore, how do you discipline your children and wife?

Ecclesiastes 7:26 could be helpful as a start point. By the way, do you read the KJV? It is readily available on the Interwebs.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Marko,

It is a shame that you were born in a land that is headed for Hell. Had your parents been completely pleasing to God, you would have found yourself an American, which is the only nation on earth (besides Israel) that God loves. (Fox News, any day, any time)

I wonder if it would be possible for you to move your family to the USA so that you can escape the flames of punishment the majority of Finns will endure forever due to their innate sinful ways. I do not recommend San Francisco or New York City or anywhere in the state of Oklahoma. I would also avoid any state that has legalized homo marriage or civil unions. Those states are probably the targets of lightning from Heaven one day soon.

I am Jewish but even as a stinking Jew, I know that your fate is sealed if you do not allow the fine people of this forum to show you the way of Salvation®. I hope that one day I will find that Messiah has already come and that I can be forgiven for killing Him. Who knows?

Still, I think being a Finn might be worse. I wish you luck in your journey to Glory.

Your handsome young brother in the Lord,
Morton

Mr Weinstein - now you opened wounds that are very hurtful to me. I of course do not blame You for that. But actually, my grandfather was born in Iowa AND my grandmother in Wisconsin. I have no idea what devilish thought made them come back to this sinland. Their parents were wise enough to move to the promised land, but...well...this is very hard thing to me.

I would like to move - from all my heart - and I hope it is a little bit more possible now, when I am working to Microsoft - I think you know that they bought the japanese-sounding-NOKIA - company where I worked before.

I pray THE LORD every night that this dream comes true.

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Mr Aho, thank you for you commendable effort to answer our questions. You should know that we've had lots of hostile Scandinaniacs posting here lately, and one becomes perhaps too cautious.

Regarding your problem with finding a Church (mentioned above). What denomination do you belong to? Hope its not the cat lick demonization or the North European Loot her an*s! Probably not cat licks as you seem to be (for good reason) worried about Satanic female ordination. Furthermore, how do you discipline your children and wife?

Ecclesiastes 7:26 could be helpful as a start point. By the way, do you read the KJV? It is readily available on the Interwebs.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Dear Mr. White

I am very sorry answering your post this late. We had a small family discussion at home. My wife had bought tampons and I just find that to be a female sexual stimulation object - so I had to make her very clear (once again) that a christian woman does not act like that. Let the blood flow!!!

As I told before, I can not visit a church anymore. We have here a small group called St. Paul's Synod and I have found that to be my spiritual home. We have a good spirit there IN LORD, we pray together and sometimes when we are in a jolly mood we wrestle a bit.

Discipline is very difficult here in Finland. The Law makes it totally impossible. And finns are very used to spank themselves with a birch whisk used in sauna, so the ordinary ways do not work.
I have used for example Ice Cubs, with that method I have got very good results.

I Praise the Lord!! This forum has already helped me so much!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Dear Eskimo Savage;

Welcome to God's favorite forum, and thank you for ridding the world of those moomindemons. How many wooden shoes do you own? Do you live in a windmill? What does reindeer taste like?

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Honorable Pastor Ezekiel

It is a great honor to get somebody like You giving me answer and guidance about how to behave here on this Holy Forum. Even though God's bandwidth is limitless and He can control everything, even I, a miserable sinner, surely understand how important it is not to write hogwash in a Holy Place, but

PRAISE THE LORD

I have already read what Honorable Apostle Alphonse Alban has written of those satanic horror moomins, which wonder around this land. Thank God, mostly on the coast, where those wacky homer swedes live.

Here in my home place we have chopped all forests, partly to get a better aiming sectors. So, wooden shoes are nowadays rare, I have two pairs, but my boys use birch-bark shoes, which are more comfortable but not so powerful. All windmills on our area are burned down, because we do not want to be like those hippies in ecologist movement, using windmills to get clean power. Reindeer is great! We have sometimes small quarrels with the sami people who claim that they own those animals, and say that we are not allowed to shoot reindeer. However, reindeer is God's gift to us and we eat it thankfully and with joy. It is delicious, especially the sun-dried meat that we let hang outside during the summer. There is now nothing left but if You, Sire, want, I can send You some next autumn.

Yours sincerely, In Christ

Marko Loimaan-Aho

[Elmer G. White]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

As I told before, I can not visit a church anymore. We have here a small group called St. Paul's Synod and I have found that to be my spiritual home. We have a good spirit there IN LORD, we pray together and sometimes when we are in a jolly mood we wrestle a bit.

Mr.Aho

You seem to be a honest man who's been shown the way to LBC by our LORD. I think you (and one day perhaps also I) have the potential of becoming a man of Christ.

Due to this, I found your post (quoted above) VERY alarming. I think your soul is in GRAVE DANGER. I'll explain this in more detail if I may:

You mentioned "St. Paul's SYNOD". This "synod" ringed an alarm bell and I chose to examine the issue. Your "synod" did not have pages in American, only some addresses. I followed a few threads and discovered that your pastors are connected to a cult called the "Luther Foundation" (Yes, Ladies, sorry. It's the "L"-word!"). And THEY were connected to the Lutheran Heritage Foundation and as one searches their Statement of Faith we end up with the Missouri Synod. I don't think your cult leaders have told you what this means.

This is a bunch that lures God-fearing and even honest people with some easy, healthy and very promising attractions, such as opposing female ordination (everybody knows it's satanic) and maintaining a healthy attitude to homers. So good so far, one might think.

BUT...

What they have not probably told you is that while these obvious points are seemingly in order, several other aspects of the Loot Her Anusians make them incapable of SALVATION.

They have infant baptisism (what you need is REPENT FIRST, BAPTISM ONLY THEN; Acts 2:38).

They believe the ridiculous transubstatiation joke that a commonion wafer becomes that actual body of Christ after some cultish conjuring (compare with Hebrews 10:10-18).

They think that it is possible for the saved to become unsaved, fall from grace! This denies the clear word of the Bible (John 10:28-29).

And they do not believe in the Bible. This is an ACTUAL QUOTE from the Statement of Faith by this Missouri "synod": "Sola Fide By His suffering and death as the substitute for all people of all time, Jesus purchased and won forgiveness and eternal life for them. Those who hear this Good News and believe it have the eternal life that it offers." James 2:17 clearly denies this: Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

=

Therefore, I think your current congregation could be on its way to HELL (in your shoes I'd look for confirmation from True Christians, e.g., you could study this thread). If I were you, I'd ask the cult leaders some of the question mentioned above, then flee as quickly as you can and try to find a real Church. I do think you are an earnest man and I pray that you study carefully what these "synods" actually teach. I'm afraid you've been lured by a CULT but JESUS might still be with you and your finding the LBC Forum could save your LIFE.

Yours,

Elmer

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

You mentioned "St. Paul's SYNOD". This "synod" ringed an alarm bell and I chose to examine the issue. Your "synod" did not have pages in American, only some addresses. I followed a few threads and discovered that your pastors are connected to a cult called the "Luther Foundation" (Yes, Ladies, sorry. It's the "L"-word!"). And THEY were connected to the Lutheran Heritage Foundation and as one searches their Statement of Faith we end up with the Missouri Synod. I don't think your cult leaders have told you what this means.

This is a bunch that lures God-fearing and even honest people with some easy, healthy and very promising attractions, such as opposing female ordination (everybody knows it's satanic) and maintaining a healthy attitude to homers. So good so far, one might think.

BUT...

What they have not probably told you is that while these obvious points are seemingly in order, several other aspects of the Loot Her Anusians make them incapable of SALVATION.

They have infant baptisism (what you need is REPENT FIRST, BAPTISM ONLY THEN; Acts 2:38).

They believe the ridiculous transubstatiation joke that a commonion wafer becomes that actual body of Christ after some cultish conjuring (compare with Hebrews 10:10-18).

They think that it is possible for the saved to become unsaved, fall from grace! This denies the clear word of the Bible (John 10:28-29).

And they do not believe in the Bible. This is an ACTUAL QUOTE from the Statement of Faith by this Missouri "synod": "Sola Fide By His suffering and death as the substitute for all people of all time, Jesus purchased and won forgiveness and eternal life for them. Those who hear this Good News and believe it have the eternal life that it offers." James 2:17 clearly denies this: Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

=

Therefore, I think your current congregation could be on its way to HELL (in your shoes I'd look for confirmation from True Christians, e.g., you could study this thread). If I were you, I'd ask the cult leaders some of the question mentioned above, then flee as quickly as you can and try to find a real Church. I do think you are an earnest man and I pray that you study carefully what these "synods" actually teach. I'm afraid you've been lured by a CULT but JESUS might still be with you and your finding the LBC Forum could save your LIFE.

Yours,

Elmer

Dear most honourable Mr White

My most humble thanks for your effort to warn me and help me! I had no idea, there are such satanic things behind those men! Only, perhaps, i have been warned by GOD ALMIGHTY: few times during our wrestling sessions I've had some strange feelings about them. Now I know GOD warned me, but because I am still in deep sin, I could not understand and listen. I need to pray harder and read the GOOD WRITINGS on this forum to learn what THE REAL FAITH is and how I can find SALVATION for me and my sons, maybe for the rest of my family too.
This sinland is such in a deep sin that it is more and more difficult to find a church where THE REAL TRUTH is preached. Lutherans are out of count, I know it, but also the orthodox church is full of sin. They don't let women open their mouths. but once when I visited there i noticed that they are in drugs: they smoke some kind of weed during their services, the smell is horrible.
And the local baptist church is also going wrong way - sometimes there a female speakers.
Maybe the most deepest honourable apostle Alphonse Alban can help me. I must write him and ask if there is any place to go.

Thank You Mr White, with deepest gratitude, May the LORD ALMIGHTY take us all in His arms

Marko Loimaan-Aho

[M. Mansfield, MD]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

I knew someone named Aho once - and I can tell you are an Aho by your honest, prayerful desire to know Christ and serve him with your WHOLE being. I delivered the Aho's youngest son and he too is a shining example of an Aho.

It is my prayer, Brother Marko, that Jesus provides a way for you to leave your current residence and relocate to God's Country. I warn you, though - Microsoft has a large presence in the Pacific Northwest and therefore I speak from experience when I say that I think they are sinful. I suspect that founder Gates is supportive of homosexual and atheist causes. This means that working for that company may send you to hell. You should launder the money you make by sending as much of it to Landover Baptist Church as you can. The accounting office will exorcise each filthy dollar and then ensure that it is used to battle satan's forces. Glory to God!

In prayerful concern,
Doc

[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Brother Doc, if I may say so

I read your words carefully and now, after reading bible few days and also finding out what kind of monster this Gates is, I must thank you.

The owner of Microsoft is horrible. I found this http://mashable.com/2013/01/22/bill-gates-gods-work/

I found no other solution to save me, than quit at Microsoft. I did it first in this morning. I have already plans to set up a laundry. My wife and the rest of my family can work there, while we are studying bible and hunting with my sons.

Reading more about sinful things around Gates and Microsoft made me curious and now I put some effort to find out how sinful company my former employer Nokia is. I am afraid I am going to find some horrible and dirty things. There might be Satan whispering inside Nokia Phones.

I am so thankful GOD lead me into this HOLY FORUM. I am grateful to GOD and all HIS HOLY SERVANTS, the True Christians, that they have talked to me, taught and touched me! PRAISE THE LORD!

And last but not least, I admire the effort and patience of the True Christians who answer to all those sinners who just come here with their abracadabra and other hogwash. You, True Christians are really GOD'S GIFT TO SINNERS! I found such a horrible baloney from sinners on this forum (when searching the TRUTH about Microsoft and Gates), that I puked a few times.

PRAISE THE GOD ALMIGHTY!!!

Marko

But many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first

[Morton Weinstein]

Re: Dear Fellow Believers

Marko,

What a distinct pleasure it is to welcome you to the forum and add you to my new prayer list that I just started yesterday. Since you are fervently trying to learn more about Jesus - and so am I - I can't help thinking we will grow together in God's grace and ever-present guidance.

Today I shared my faith with a young man at school who has been struggling with family issues. His family moved shortly after he left for college and didn't say where they were going. So, we said a prayer that Jesus would locate them. The phone rang within minutes of our prayer! It was his father, asking to borrow money. We were able to trace the call to Providence, Rhode Island. Since this young man has zero desire to live in Godless Rhode Island, he feels better knowing his parents are there instead of Cabo or perhaps the Seychelles. I was able to lead him to accepting Christ as his Savior, GLORY, and he is coming with me to church on Sunday.

He didn't loan his dad any money.