Tweet
Hello! I hope this is a friendly community that will welcome me in open arms! I have a serious question though, If you found out god was gay, how would you react, don't give me any "Oh that's impossible" It's just a hypothetical and I'm Curious as to how people would think and change based on that one simple assertion.
-
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
This is called the INTRODUCTION section for a reason. Please tell us your name, age, gender and the name of your church.Originally posted by OldGayJebadiah View Post
Your question is absurd. God is not a filthy queer.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!! -
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
That questions doesn't make sense, dear. Say, why not introduce yourself like a decent, civilized person would! Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
That is actually not a serious question. It's an ad ridiculum comment to distract people from the actual issue, JESUS!Originally posted by OldGayJebadiah View Post
An impossible scenario not at all related to the actual state of affairs does not constitute a serious question. I offer you some examples:
What if pope the Wannabe Antichrist was a Labrador retriever?
What if Garfield the cat was actually Garfield the president?
What if false Christian men had tallywhackers growing on their foreheads instead of dislodged in their bums?
What if you used you secret knowledge of Klingon to translate invisible texts on dissappearing gold plates to supplement a perfect book?
This can be mildly funny. Usually only lame. Not serious conversation, though.
No need to waste a verse here.
Yours in Christ,
Elmer
2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.
PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:- Hitler is Alive!
- Hitler - the First man on the Moon!
- Hitler was maybe a Nazi!
- Hitler and the English Royal Family!
- Vladimir Putin is immortal! Perhaps Hitler is, too?
- Paris Hilton for President and the Hitler connection!
Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
It would mean god is happy. I remember Dennis Flemion and the Frogs had a song about this once...I think though they were being intentionally blasphemous for a cheap instantly forgettable shock value like you probably are.Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
You mean if God was happy rather than vengeful and jealous? Hmmm, that would mean there were no homersexurals, no liars, no liberals, no mooselimbs. no satanists, no false Christians. Everyone would be a True Christian (tm). I think that would be excellentOriginally posted by OldGayJebadiah View Post
Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
I would stone Him to death exactly as the Bible commands.Originally posted by OldGayJebadiah View PostBut they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"
"eSports": Become Usain Bolt without leaving your sofa
Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
How would you react if you found out that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?Originally posted by OldGayJebadiah View PostThis space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture only. --ADMINComment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
Originally posted by OldGayJebadiah View Post
In answer to your question, I would have to wake up because I would realize I was asleep and having a bad dream.
For your ridiculous scenario to come true, right would have to be wrong and wrong would be right. God would make rules and violate those most important after He had decided what was right. There are so many "that can't happens" in your scheme that it is simply absurd.
You are a homosexual, I believe. Why don't you take the opportunity to ask your question of God when you pass and He is deciding whether to send you to Hell or not.God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
Hell is still hot.Originally posted by OldGayJebadiah View Post"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
If the saved is rewarded in heaven, then isn't a sinner rewarded in hell. Why would the devil want to punish those that serve him. That would seem detrimental to his plan since he needs followers just like the other guy. If you give yourself over to the fallen one, then wouldn't you receive an eternity of blissful indulgence.Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
If you were a Christian then you would know that God created satan in order to punish sinners. You atheist scum always want to try and claim that hell is some kind of slightly warm cocktail party. You couldn't be more wrong.Originally posted by 3Inver9 View Post
Matthew 13:41-42
The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Mark 9:43-48
... into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched Where their worm dieth not, and the fire is not quenched.
Revelation 14:10-11
The same shall drink of the wine of the wrath of God, which is poured out without mixture into the cup of his indignation; and he shall be tormented with fire and brimstone in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
What if I went to hell and I asked Satan for a pitchfork, tail, and horns, so I could come back to earth and possess these weak Christians. Satan would grant me what I want to further his agenda. If you take one peek out your window it is clear that Satan is winning, so why not join him. I would love to meet the Devil.Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
First of all, you seem obsessed with ridiculous questions. The devil's reward is knowing that he convinced you to rejectOriginally posted by 3Inver9 View Post
as your 
and he does not have to burn alone. Indeed, there will be millions enjoying the everlasting flames with you as he continually rapes you and all the things that make you afraid torment you while I sip sweet tea with my 
.
The devil cannot punish you - the punishment will come from a just God - the God whose Holy Spirit beckons you at this moment to turn from sin and your arrogant, god-mocking questions. Christ DIED for you, dear. He remained dead until the right moment, then miraculously rose from the grave, inspiring hundreds of songs and finalizing our redemption per His Father's Plan. Hallelujah!
Mock and be sarcastic all you wish, but when the glorious return of our Savior is taking place, I promise to try not to laugh when you realize just how truthful we were in describing your fate.
It is not too late - but Jesus is coming!1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
Comment
-
Re: Introductory thread! And serious Question!
Scriptural support? Yeah, not happening.Originally posted by 3Inver9 View Post
See, kids, this is what it looks like when someone who has never read the Bible tries to make claims about what it says. Not pretty, eh?
The Bible makes it clear that whenever Satan does anything except talk, it's actually God doing it. Satan is just there to have someone to blame bad stuff (that God did) on.
Ever hear someone claim, "the Devil made me do it"? Well, they haven't read the Bible either. The Bible clearly states that when we think Satan is influencing us, it's just God in disguise:
2 Thessalonians 2:11 "And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie:"
And "Satan's agenda"?
As if an omniscient, omnipotent God would allow something like that to exist. 
It's all God's plan (even if it seems evil to us):
Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things."
Proverbs 16:4 "The Lord hath made all things for himself: Yea, even the wicked for the day of evil."
It's like God made a sock, and treats as well as I do mine.
Comment
Comment