The Landover Baptist Church
Like us or burn

Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians)

Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you).

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 06-12-2014, 03:51 PM
Elijah Mee, PhD's Avatar
Elijah Mee, PhD Elijah Mee, PhD is offline
True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once Porn Resistant Ex-eurotrash Ex-Brit Punched the most queers Prayer Warrior Persecuted Friend of Jesus Real American™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Teabag Patriot Guns, Guts and GLORY! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
Posts: 390
Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals
A guide for those without the "gaydar"



Introduction
We all know why it's crucial to identify butt pirates. I won't go into that here. If you don't already know, maybe you should pick up a Bible or something.

In an ideal world, the undesirable segment of society would be made to wear an identifying marker at all times. This worked well with Jews in Germany in the 1930s up until the point where the Nazis tried to off them all. Now, I'm not advocating that here - and I'm definitely not suggesting that you should break any local laws - but if God were to decide to do a little spring cleaning, we'd be making his job a lot easier with fag armbands.

I decided to take to Paint to demonstrate what the future could look like. I would love to say that my little daughter did the drawing but I don't have any kids because my God-mocking wife is still popping the baby killer pills. But, whatever, that's not even relevant here. I just don't understand what her problem is. Never mind, let's move on.



It's a primitive first draft, okay?

Here's what it might look like attached to an actual homosexual's limp wrist:



Notice how well it gels with his general attire and appearance. I personally see no reason why fags wouldn't love this fabulous fashion accessory! It's a win-win!

Anyway, it strikes me that I've digressed massively so I will continue.

Look, the persecuted status of Christians these days means we have no hope of seeing fag markers any time soon. We have to make do with what we can get. There any already so many great resources on this very forum for identifying fags from afar and in casual conversation but what we really need is an infallible acid test. You know, the kind of thing that you would use before casting rocks in the direction of an alleged homosexual.


Enter the spirit level!
As you probably already know, a spirit level is put on top of a (supposedly) horizontal surface to determine how straight that surface is. It has many uses around the house including (but not limited to) putting up shelves, hanging picture frames and beating your wife or kids. As a man, I already possess a spirit level. Ladies, ask your husband for access to his tool. Worst case scenario, you can pick one up at pretty much any decent DIY store.

Given that a spirit level can be used to measure how straight something is, it's a natural fit for identifying homosexuals. Upon placing a spirit level atop the skull of the True Christians™ of this Godly forum, one would expect to see the spirit bubble align perfectly with the centre of the device -- a sure sign of pure desires! When doing the same thing with a fag, however, one would expect a skewed result.

Thus the basic method would be described as follows:
1. Put spirit level on top of head.
2. Examine spirit bubble.
3. Central = straight, skewed = not straight.

Unfortunately, this doesn't actually work. You see, human skulls aren't flat. They're sort of curved. In fact, the mere ability to balance a spirit level on one's head without assistance may be a sign of witchcraft.

Like all scientists, however, I'm not going to let a little thing like being wrong get in my way. I will proceed...


A better way
So, just like my marriage, the obvious method failed. Ever the optimist, I looked for a superior way.

What you need to do is simply hand your spirit level to the suspected homofag. If he immediately attempts to sodomise himself with it, you have found yourself a boner fide gay.

This was a surprisingly obvious solution but it required thinking in ways that I have not considered for many years. To catch a sodomite, you must think like a sodomite.

Anyway, I strongly suggest that you don't actually allow the homosexual to sodomise himself with your spirit level. If you make this mistake, I suggest discarding the AIDS-infected equipment post-haste (perhaps borrow some kitchen gloves from your wife first). Remember that the act of pulling down his leggings and undergarments should be sufficient to prove homosexuality beyond a reasonable doubt. There is no need to allow things to go any further.

I take no responsibility for what you do next after discovering a homofag using this method. Do what you feel you must.

Good luck out there, friends! May your rectums remain safe!
__________________
But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

Guides and teachings:
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"

Things that don't anger God:
Landover Baptist Church
Killing For Christ
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 06-12-2014, 10:20 PM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
True Christian™ with a quiverful

Quiverful True Christian™ Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty One Year/1000 posts In Love With Zeke True Heterosexual™ TC Bravery 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Posts: 2,243
Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elijah Mee, PhD View Post
I would love to say that my little daughter did the drawing but I don't have any kids because my God-mocking wife is still popping the baby killer pills.
You should be disciplining your wife, Brother Mee! Don't allow her to be the cause of you murdering your unborn babies


That said, I'd never thought of using a spirit level. I'll get Mike to get one next time he goes shopping - he's not the most practical of men, if you know what I mean, and doesn't even own a spirit level. If I were to ask him what one was, he would think it was a way to measure how much whisky was in his glass
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 06-12-2014, 11:42 PM
Freddy Osborne's Avatar
Freddy Osborne Freddy Osborne is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Christian™ Christian Love True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Tell her once Touched by Jesus Porn Resistant 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
Posts: 533
Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Freddy Osborne is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

How can I see the position of the bubble without exposing myself to the perp's rectum?
__________________
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)

"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 06-13-2014, 12:20 AM
Nobar King's Avatar
Nobar King Nobar King is offline
Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
Christ's Guardian
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Provider™ award Ribfest '07 Christian Love Tin Tither Real American™ Cleanest Kitchen Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian True Christian Nerd TC Bravery Ex-liberal Ex-Christ-Killer Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Saved 5 Years Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 20,000 posts Eats the Most Pork True Republican Divorcee Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Early riser Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Grammar Nazi 

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch. Revelation 6:8
Posts: 22,741
Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Nobar King will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

I had these two carpenters working on my house and they called that thing a torpedo level. Big surprise. I'm never hiring those two fags, again.
__________________
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 06-13-2014, 03:09 AM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,557
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elijah Mee, PhD View Post
This was a surprisingly obvious solution but it required thinking in ways that I have not considered for many years. To catch a sodomite, you must think like a sodomite.
Godly words, but may I also suggest a banana for this?
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 06-13-2014, 03:23 AM
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD 

Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 6,411
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

I'm thinking that there may be something to this spirit level thing, but maybe it's being misapplied. Maybe it's meant to be measured front to back so to speak - tilting to the behind indicated preference for the rectum.

All in all, the anal crowd seems to be outing themselves over the last decade or so, which would suggest we can dispense with gaydar and other such devices. They should take to the arm band idea with glee.
__________________
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 06-14-2014, 01:23 AM
Determined2findtruth Determined2findtruth is offline
Unsaved trash, demonic teenaged whore
Under Investigation
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Godless Utah
Posts: 21
Determined2findtruth is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Determined2findtruth is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Determined2findtruth is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Let us test this.......if you want. Am I lesbian or straight? Your move now! Not trying to be rude just trying to see your theory.
__________________
Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 06-14-2014, 04:32 AM
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Posts: 78,606
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Determined2findtruth View Post
Let us test this.......if you want. Am I lesbian or straight? Your move now! Not trying to be rude just trying to see your theory.
You're a demon. That's all we need to know. Now piss off.
__________________
Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 06-14-2014, 01:52 PM
Elijah Mee, PhD's Avatar
Elijah Mee, PhD Elijah Mee, PhD is offline
True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once Porn Resistant Ex-eurotrash Ex-Brit Punched the most queers Prayer Warrior Persecuted Friend of Jesus Real American™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Teabag Patriot Guns, Guts and GLORY! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
Posts: 390
Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Determined2findtruth View Post
Let us test this.......if you want. Am I lesbian or straight? Your move now! Not trying to be rude just trying to see your theory.
Friend, I did not say anything about munching rug.

As far as I'm aware, lesbians are rarely sodomites so I have no reason to believe that the test would work.

An alternative methodology is needed for "people" like yourself.
__________________
But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

Guides and teachings:
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"

Things that don't anger God:
Landover Baptist Church
Killing For Christ
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 06-14-2014, 04:53 PM
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
 

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior 

Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Posts: 18,557
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Determined2findtruth View Post
Let us test this.......if you want. Am I lesbian or straight? Your move now! Not trying to be rude just trying to see your theory.
By the fact that you clearly sexually desire me proves you are lesbian beyond a doubt.
__________________

Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 06-17-2014, 09:29 PM
DownOnMyKnees's Avatar
DownOnMyKnees DownOnMyKnees is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 7
DownOnMyKnees is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elijah Mee, PhD View Post
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals
A guide for those without the "gaydar"



Introduction
We all know why it's crucial to identify butt pirates. I won't go into that here. If you don't already know, maybe you should pick up a Bible or something.

In an ideal world, the undesirable segment of society would be made to wear an identifying marker at all times. This worked well with Jews in Germany in the 1930s up until the point where the Nazis tried to off them all. Now, I'm not advocating that here - and I'm definitely not suggesting that you should break any local laws - but if God were to decide to do a little spring cleaning, we'd be making his job a lot easier with fag armbands.

I decided to take to Paint to demonstrate what the future could look like. I would love to say that my little daughter did the drawing but I don't have any kids because my God-mocking wife is still popping the baby killer pills. But, whatever, that's not even relevant here. I just don't understand what her problem is. Never mind, let's move on.



It's a primitive first draft, okay?

Here's what it might look like attached to an actual homosexual's limp wrist:



Notice how well it gels with his general attire and appearance. I personally see no reason why fags wouldn't love this fabulous fashion accessory! It's a win-win!

Anyway, it strikes me that I've digressed massively so I will continue.

Look, the persecuted status of Christians these days means we have no hope of seeing fag markers any time soon. We have to make do with what we can get. There any already so many great resources on this very forum for identifying fags from afar and in casual conversation but what we really need is an infallible acid test. You know, the kind of thing that you would use before casting rocks in the direction of an alleged homosexual.


Enter the spirit level!
As you probably already know, a spirit level is put on top of a (supposedly) horizontal surface to determine how straight that surface is. It has many uses around the house including (but not limited to) putting up shelves, hanging picture frames and beating your wife or kids. As a man, I already possess a spirit level. Ladies, ask your husband for access to his tool. Worst case scenario, you can pick one up at pretty much any decent DIY store.

Given that a spirit level can be used to measure how straight something is, it's a natural fit for identifying homosexuals. Upon placing a spirit level atop the skull of the True Christians™ of this Godly forum, one would expect to see the spirit bubble align perfectly with the centre of the device -- a sure sign of pure desires! When doing the same thing with a fag, however, one would expect a skewed result.

Thus the basic method would be described as follows:
1. Put spirit level on top of head.
2. Examine spirit bubble.
3. Central = straight, skewed = not straight.

Unfortunately, this doesn't actually work. You see, human skulls aren't flat. They're sort of curved. In fact, the mere ability to balance a spirit level on one's head without assistance may be a sign of witchcraft.

Like all scientists, however, I'm not going to let a little thing like being wrong get in my way. I will proceed...


A better way
So, just like my marriage, the obvious method failed. Ever the optimist, I looked for a superior way.

What you need to do is simply hand your spirit level to the suspected homofag. If he immediately attempts to sodomise himself with it, you have found yourself a boner fide gay.

This was a surprisingly obvious solution but it required thinking in ways that I have not considered for many years. To catch a sodomite, you must think like a sodomite.

Anyway, I strongly suggest that you don't actually allow the homosexual to sodomise himself with your spirit level. If you make this mistake, I suggest discarding the AIDS-infected equipment post-haste (perhaps borrow some kitchen gloves from your wife first). Remember that the act of pulling down his leggings and undergarments should be sufficient to prove homosexuality beyond a reasonable doubt. There is no need to allow things to go any further.

I take no responsibility for what you do next after discovering a homofag using this method. Do what you feel you must.

Good luck out there, friends! May your rectums remain safe!
Might be the stupidest thing I have ever heard.....
And also Jesus was a middle eastern jew
Not very close to the definition of "White"
And again that stupid thing doesn't work
That's like saying people with small wrists are gay or that if you are fat you are southern...
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 06-17-2014, 09:57 PM
Elijah Mee, PhD's Avatar
Elijah Mee, PhD Elijah Mee, PhD is offline
True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once Porn Resistant Ex-eurotrash Ex-Brit Punched the most queers Prayer Warrior Persecuted Friend of Jesus Real American™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Teabag Patriot Guns, Guts and GLORY! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
Posts: 390
Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by DownOnMyKnees View Post
Might be the stupidest thing I have ever heard.....
And also Jesus was a middle eastern jew
Not very close to the definition of "White"
And again that stupid thing doesn't work
That's like saying people with small wrists are gay or that if you are fat you are southern...
So I'm the stupid one because I want to glorify God and marginalise sin?
__________________
But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

Guides and teachings:
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"

Things that don't anger God:
Landover Baptist Church
Killing For Christ
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 06-18-2014, 01:37 AM
G.U.Y. Gypsy's Avatar
G.U.Y. Gypsy G.U.Y. Gypsy is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1
G.U.Y. Gypsy is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

this is interesting
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 06-18-2014, 02:01 AM
Mother Of Seven Mother Of Seven is offline
True Christian™ with a quiverful

Quiverful True Christian™ Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Cleanest Kitchen Best stoning bucket True Christian Beauty One Year/1000 posts In Love With Zeke True Heterosexual™ TC Bravery 

Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
Posts: 2,243
Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mother Of Seven will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by DownOnMyKnees View Post
And also Jesus was a middle eastern jew
Not very close to the definition of "White"
Where do you get that idea? Jesus was white. His father was God, and God is white. Mary was merely used as a vessel in which Jesus could grow.
Read this - http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=33204
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-31-2015, 03:30 PM
Elijah Mee, PhD's Avatar
Elijah Mee, PhD Elijah Mee, PhD is offline
True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once Porn Resistant Ex-eurotrash Ex-Brit Punched the most queers Prayer Warrior Persecuted Friend of Jesus Real American™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Teabag Patriot Guns, Guts and GLORY! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
Posts: 390
Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Godly words, but may I also suggest a banana for this?
I considered this but one of my gaywise neighbours explained to me in explicit detail about his strong preference for minimal curvature. He said that when it comes to stuffing things up your butt, straighter is better. The irony was not lost on me.
__________________
But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

Guides and teachings:
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"

Things that don't anger God:
Landover Baptist Church
Killing For Christ
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 09-02-2015, 11:58 AM
Oliver_Cromwell Oliver_Cromwell is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 20
Oliver_Cromwell is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

I had builders around to fix a wall that had started to fall over. I overheard one of them telling the other to set up a bum line behind the wall. Needless to say I chased these homers of my property
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 09-02-2015, 01:04 PM
Elijah Mee, PhD's Avatar
Elijah Mee, PhD Elijah Mee, PhD is offline
True Christian™ Brainiac
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tell her once Porn Resistant Ex-eurotrash Ex-Brit Punched the most queers Prayer Warrior Persecuted Friend of Jesus Real American™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Teabag Patriot Guns, Guts and GLORY! Touched by Jesus 

Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Protesting the pride parade!
Posts: 390
Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.Elijah Mee, PhD is veritably a saint destined for a place in heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by Oliver_Cromwell View Post
I had builders around to fix a wall that had started to fall over. I overheard one of them telling the other to set up a bum line behind the wall. Needless to say I chased these homers of my property
I'm sorry to hear that. The rectal demons have infiltrated their way into all areas of society.

It's a shame. Building things is the height of masculinity. No nancy boy was ever intended to be a builder.

I blame the Village People for this mess.

I'm glad you retained your anal virginity. Praise Jesus!
__________________
But they mocked the messengers of God, and despised his words, and misused his prophets, until the wrath of the LORD arose against his people, till there was no remedy. (2 Chronicles 36:16)

Guides and teachings:
The Bible is perfect and contains ZERO contradictions: A True Christian™ guide to logic
Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals: A guide for those without the "gaydar"

Things that don't anger God:
Landover Baptist Church
Killing For Christ
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 09-03-2015, 06:46 AM
judaschristvevo judaschristvevo is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 7
judaschristvevo is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

congratulations on having the worst art skills i have seen all year. seriously, i bet most monkeys could draw better than you - but what's to be expected from such unintelligent, brainwashed people?
so wait, let me get this straight. if you were given your way, you would have gays segregated and killed, just like they did in nazi times? you do know how bad the nazis were, right? they caused one of the worst genocides in history, and let me tell you, that is the opposite of what God wants.
I submit to you that God doesn't want you to have such hate in your heart, that he wants you to love everyone, no matter what, and mind your own business about their sins. Before you argue -
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [Matthew 22:37-40 KJV]
(15) “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” [John 8:7 KJV]
(18) “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” [Luke 6:41 KJV]

so, there you have it.

by the way, SHOCKINGLY, your incredibly offensive system for detecting fags does not work - i'm so gay i'm like the king of fags, and i wouldn't touch you with a 100 foot pole.

Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 09-03-2015, 07:04 AM
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is online now
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
True Christian™
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Posts: 3,770
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Love Jesus Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by judaschristvevo View Post
***ad hominem removed***
***The Hitler card removed***

I submit to you that God doesn't want you to have such hate in your heart, that he wants you to love everyone, no matter what, and mind your own business about their sins. Before you argue -
“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” [Matthew 22:37-40 KJV]
(15) “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” [John 8:7 KJV]
(18) “And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” [Luke 6:41 KJV]

***ad ridiculum removed***

Dear Sinner,

You've got it upside down.

WE love. We love you enough to try to convert you from your evil ways. Why else would we expose ourselves every day to the ridicule and violent tantrums of unsaved trash on this Godly Forum! We want you to repent and get a place in Heaven. And if you repent, your position in Heaven will be a magnificent one, even better than ours!

Matthew 18:13
And if so be that he find it, verily I say unto you, he rejoiceth more of that sheep, than of the ninety and nine which went not astray.

It is GOD who hates your kind. He has expressed in clearly. It is exactly this Wrath that we want to SAVE you from OUT OF LOVE.

Deuteronomy 9:28
Lest the land whence thou broughtest us out say, Because the LORD was not able to bring them into the land which he promised them, and because he hated them, he hath brought them out to slay them in the wilderness.


You have some wonderful verses there. Would you be kind enough to tell us why they are the ones that matter and others can be ignored. What is your method of choosing which parts of the Bible are relevant and which are not? We really would like to know!


Yours in Christ,

Elmer
__________________
2 Kings 18:25 Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.

How to teach children FACTS not FICTION! Show them how God CREATES new animals! Make them FEAR God!
Never EVER
allow life support or CPR !
Help me SAVE THE WORLD and find NEW SOLDIERS for Jesus!
Follow my adventures in Godless France: Day 1 (cavities), Day 2 (cat licks), Day 3 (Turd of France), Day 4 (Answered prayers).
Dolphins are 'cute' but they are also HOMOSEXUALS CORRUPTED by SATAN!
You think God is not 'nice'? Check HERE and LEARN what the difference between human 'good' and GOD's RIGHTEOUS is!
The TRUTH about 'homeopathy'.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 09-03-2015, 07:04 AM
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv Baggie Condemned Reaper Evil Grammar Nazi Democrat Commmmmunnissss How dumb can you get? Five years in the service of the Enemy Beastiality Barney 

Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: can't tell, it's dark out there
Posts: 9,534
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Using a spirit level to identify homosexuals

Quote:
Originally Posted by judaschristvevo View Post
...Before you argue - ...
Before YOU argue, learn what those Scriptures actually mean, k?

Here's a good place to start: The Most MISUNDERSTOOD Passage in All the Bible (Matthew 7:1-5). While you're there, read the rest of the sticky threads, at least.
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here

The information presented here is Biblically accurate. Opinions concerning the technical difficulties, fitness requirements, safety, and ratings of self-crucifixion, flagellation, stoning, destroying enemies of GOD utterly, without mercy, and other activities inherent in Christianity are subjective and may differ from yours or others' opinions; therefore be warned that you must exercise your own judgment as to the difficulty and your ability to safely protect yourself from the inherent risks and dangers. Do not use the information provided on this site unless you are a True Christian ™ who understands and accepts the risks of participating in these activities. Landover Baptist Church makes reasonable efforts to include accurate and up to date information on this website, errors or omissions sometimes occur, therefore the information contained on here is provided "as is" and without warranties of any kind either expressed or implied. Viewing, reading, or any other use of the information contained within this web site is purely the voluntary will of the viewer or user. You, 'the viewer' or 'user' shall not hold the publisher, owner, authors or other contributors of The Jesus Experience responsible for any incidents related directly or indirectly to the Experience. Landover Baptist Church, et. al., assumes no liability or responsibility for your actions.


All times are GMT. The time now is 02:22 PM.


Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2015 all rights reserved