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Hello, my name is Trevor and just wanted to introduce myself (no I'm not gay despite my user name "bananas on bread" it's just a joke I say to my friends of "that's the best thing since bananas on bread" I have been baptized but my original church pretty much died off, so I'm looking for a new one.
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Re: Hi all!
Welcome then, Bananas.
I see you have survived the Devil's people in godless California. It is no surprise that your church has withered. I imagine the congregation was killed off one by one, many sacrificed to Satan, by the Devils people who infest that awful place.
Elvis favored bananas and peanut butter sandwiches. He was a heathen and would likely have moved to California had he lived.
You ought to consider moving west of the mountains, as the Lord will likely destroy California before too long due to the stupefying amount of sin that goes on there.
God Bless!God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11 -
Re: Hi all!
If God targets California first then I get to see Him firstOriginally posted by Alvin Moss View Post
all joking aside though I enjoy the Californian climate a bit too much, but if God wants me to move I'll move
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Re: Hi all!
Where do you currently worship? Which Bible verse most lifts your heart to Jesus? What kind of hunting rifle do you use?
Yours in Christ,
Z. SmythsigpicComment
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Re: Hi all!
Currently looking for a church, favorite quote is John15:13Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View PostComment
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Re: Hi all!
Welcome Trevor,
May God deliver you from the many principalities and spirits of the air that thrive in this "Californian Climate" of which you write. You seem to enjoy knowing that satan's minions fly about you invisibly each day. Do not fall victim to them. Many horrible and unspeakable sins were invented in California, such as homosexuality, satanism, veganism, and Ellen Degeneres.
Have you taken a wife? How many summers old are you? Have you sired soldiers for Christ? Are you seeking a suitable mate?
Again, welcome, and I plead the blood of Jesus over your soul. You need His protection if you intend to remain in such a vile wasteland.
In Christian Purity,
NRL1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Re: Hi all!
Welcome to God's favorite forum, Trevor. How old are you, and what state are you in? We're all so glad to hear about you not being a homo.Originally posted by Bananas_on_Bread View Post
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!Comment
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Re: Hi all!
I'm 17, And from beautiful California (I live in a conservative part) My views are a bit liberal but I have accepted Jesus as my saviorOriginally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View PostWelcome to God's favorite forum, Trevor. How old are you, and what state are you in? We're all so glad to hear about you not being a homo.
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.Comment
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Re: Hi all!
Welcome to our forum.
First of all I want to express my joy that a young lady such as yourself holds an interest in Our Lord Jesus Christ. It is very rare to come across a young person in these times that even partially accepts Jesus in their heart, as they are often brainwashed by the fag-pardoning media and Satanic death cults that flood nearly every corner of the internet and corrupt young minds (1 John 4:1).
That all said though, if nothing else, I advise you to evacuate the premises of California as soon as possible, as of recent times many of the red people of Mexico have invaded it and confiscated much of the southern lands, erecting several Catholic churches and practicing their religion in a most harmful and incorrect way. You say you enjoy the warm climate of California, but remain there and you may find yourself boiling in an even warmer climate - the very fires of hell itself!
With Love in Christ
Prayer Knight"And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire." Matthew 18:9Comment
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